Do you still not believe us?
Even after everything you've just been through?
How do you not?
Especially after all this?
They came back!
Sure after, how long?
For how much longer?
They needed to think! They promised... Promised that this would never happen again....
How can you be sure?
Your friend tried to kill you!
F/n was high! He/she had no control over his/her brain!
I don't think part of you believes th-
Of course not!
Do not cut us off! As we were saying...
I shot straight up in the bed, gasping for breath. I cringed in disgust as my shaky arm passed over my sweaty forehead.
"Ugh.. Gross.."
I tossed the sweaty sticky blankets off of myself , in which, accidentally pulling them off George as well, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
"Are you alright?" George asked as he began to stir.
"Yeah of course." My voice wobbled.
He sighed then rolled over to his side. "What's wrong?"
"It's just..." Now it was my turn to sigh. "It's like part of me hates me.. And the world..."
I felt something moving around on my back in strange swirls. Giving my arms goose bumps.
"And what are you doing..?" Turning my head I realized that he was tracing patterns on my back. It started to put me into a trance, causing me to feel safe and secure yet very vulnerable and open. Soon I focused on the pattern, and realized its not just random patterns.. It's his signature.
"Sometimes.. I like to think you could be mine." He whispered.
"Ugh! No. Not you too!" I groaned.
His hand jerked away, causing the feeling of safety and vulnerability to leave me.
"What is that supposed to mean?" George spat bitterly.
I looked at his face, only to realize that I had hurt him with my words.
"It means that I'm tired of you guys, one by one just showing, in some shape or form, that you like me! It's making things more complicated, more real, every time another one of you guys come up to me like this! And you guys fight! Every time!" I let in a quick breath before continuing. "I can't choose between you guys... I don't want to ever have to choose.... I love you all too much... If I ever have to choose... I'm leaving."
He looked a little taken aback.
I abruptly stood up and walked to the door.
Before I opened it, I looked back at him. "I'll leave you be and let your slow mind work over this."
"Y/n..." George said right as I closed the door.
I didn't mean for that last bit to sound so harsh.. I inwardly sighed and worked my way downstairs.
"Hey guys! What's up?" I shouted, disturbing the peace and quiet in the kitchen.
"Morning y/n!" They all said in unison.
"We're cooking breakfast, want some?" Jordan asked.
I peered behind Jordan, whom actually had a glass of orange juice instead of a beer, to see that the other guys were either sitting on the cupboards or leaning on them.
"Actually, I am, the rest of them are being lazy arses." Danny informed while walking passed me towards the stove.
"I can see that." I chuckled.
"Are you hungry? I'm making blueberry and chocolate-chip pancakes."
My stomach growled in response making him chuckle with my reply, "I'm pretty sure my stomach would eat me if I said no."
"Good, you lost at least ten pounds from being in that hospital." The raspy voice came from the cupboard beside me, startling me.
I gave him a surprised looked. "And when did you get there?"
"Sometime just before your stomach let out a monstrous growl." He smiled, hopped off the cupboard and pulled me into a tight embrace. "When are you coming back to my room? It's getting lonely in there with you in Georges."
I blushed and squeezed him back.
"Speaking of George, shouldn't he be down here by now?" Jorel asked.
"Umm.. After he thinks a few things over." I answered, my voice muffled by Matts shirt.
I turned my face to look at Jorel, expecting him to reply. He looked like he wanted to, but just kept his mouth shut and turned away to watch Danny flip pancakes.
Matt shifted his position and rested his chin on the top of my head.
"Are you ever going to let go of me?"
"Nope." He replied, popping the 'p.'
"Well you're gonna have to," Danny told him, "The pancakes are ready."
Matt let out a small groan of frustration, but led me towards the kitchen bar stools anyways.
I was stuck between Dylan and Matt. Now this wouldn't normally be a 'bad' thing and neither would Matt having his arm around my waist, but they were both bugging me! Matthew kept on tickling my good side every time I took a bite, and Dylan here, either stealing my food, or touching pieces so that I would give them to him. I don't even know why, he has a perfectly good plate with his own food, that he hasn't even touched. Matt's arm restricted me from moving, or attempting to stab Dylan's hand whenever he reached to grab something off my plate.
"Ergh! Have at 'er Dylan! I'm full anyways!"
Dylan answered with a joyful 'yay' and stole my plate with me shaking my head at him.
"I'm gonna wash dishes." Jorel stood up abruptly and grabbed all the plates, including the one that Dylan just received.
"Yo! Puta! I wasn't even done with that!"
"Well you are now." Jorel replied bluntly.
Dylan got up and sulked all the way the the living room with two other guys following him.
Matt turned back around before disappearing around the corner. "Y/n? You coming?"
"After I finish my juice."
"Suite yourself." And with that he was off with a shrug.
I turned towards Danny, "sup?"
"Actually... I'm gonna go help Jorel with dishes."
"Aight." I shrugged as he worked his way over to Jorel.
I mindlessly watched the two wash, dry and put away dishes for a few moments before losing interest and turning away to look out the window.
A few, what felt like, centuries, but could have been minutes, passed before a moan escaped someone jolting me from my deep thoughts. Actually, more like me just staring deep off into space.
"The hell..?" I whispered, before trying to pinpoint where the sound came from with my ears, while still looking out of the window.
Maybe it was just my imagination?
Then another one came, and this time, I whipped my head towards the noise.
Which happened to be the kitchen... Which also was a sight I never thought I would see... EVER.
Which you could probably guess what it was. Yep that's right. Daniel and Jorel making out.
"Woah...." I gasped, looking down and covering my mouth, wishing that I could take it back. It was a little loud for the quietness of this house.
I looked back up to see that they pulled away but still had their arms wrapped around each other. Jorel's face was a deep shade of red, but Danny's was only a lightly dusted pink, not to mention, he had a slightly cocky grin to him. Jorel lightly pushed him when he noticed this.
I smirked. "How long?"
"A week-" "-A year." They said at the same time.
I chuckle. "Boys, do I need to cover my ears so that you can get your story straight?" I teased.
"No-" Danny looked down at Jorel, "we've been off and on for quite a while now."
"Three and a half years, to be precise. You don't think this is weird?" Jorel whispered the last part.
"Nope. I don't discriminate." I smiled.
"Discriminate about what?" A new voice caused the two boys to jolt apart.
I turned to see Jordan leaning against the opening to the living room with a giant smirk plastered on his face.
"That these two," I paused turning to face the boys to gesture towards them, only to see them frantically waving their arms for me to stop. I grinned and turned back to Jordan, "that they like to throw dish bubbles at each other."
I sat up straighter in my chair, proud of my self for coming up with a decent excuse quickly and effortlessly.
"Bull shit." He laughed.
My smiled faded, and my once proud self, shattered. I slouched my shoulders while saying, "well it's true..."
Jordan waved my attempt off. "Don't try to strain yourself dear~"
"Huh? But I'm not?"
He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to a bar stool beside me and sat down.
"I know exactly what happened." He grinned at me. "Mostly because of your fairly loud 'woah' and also because of seeing those two there," he pointed at Danny and Jorel, "holding each other and blushing."
"Oh." Was all I could manage to say.
"You're not going to tell the rest.. Are you..?" Jorel asked.
"Nah." Jordan said while popping a random grape in his mouth. "But you guys should soon, it's getting obvious. It won't take long before the rest put the pieces together."
They both nodded then looked at each other.
"We should go talk. Privately." Danny said to Jorel and gave a 'don't follow' look to me and Jordan, then walk upstairs with Jorel in tow.
I threw my arms up in a 'what the hell does that mean' way. I heard Jordan snicker beside me, looking over I noticed he did the exact same thing as me. Then I burst out laughing.
"Wanna grape?" Jordan randomly asked.
"Uh...? Sure?"
He then shoved one in my mouth and laughed at my puzzled face.
"You're high! Aren't you?!" I accused after my brain finally put two and two together.
He nodded and grinned. "Want some?"
"Aha sure, why the hell not."
He stood up and headed towards the back door.
At least it's not coke.. I thought before trailing after him. "Hey! Wait up!"
"How did it get dark out so soon?" I question while taking a drag of the joint.
"Well, y/n, you slept till about 1:30.. we ate, which took a while, then Danny and Jorel took two hours to wash dishes, and it was another half an hour before we got out here." He paused to think. "Plus it's still technically winter, and the daylight savings thingy doesn't happen for a few more weeks... Yeah that's why."
"Haha you actually almost sounded smart for a moment there." I teased.
"I am a goddamn genius! I just hide it behind booze and sluts. Weed just brings it out."
We both laughed at that for a bit, then lit a second joint and smoked that. My joints slowly loosened, and all the pain started ebbing away, leaving my body in a painless numb state.
Once we both finished a third joint, we leaned against the steps beside each other, and just gazed at the stares in the darkness.
Just in our own thoughts, thinking about.. Well I don't know what JORDAN is thinking about, probably hot chicks and strippers. Me? I'm not thinking, just enjoying the high this pot is giving me. It's making it look like the stars are moving, and every once in a while, I see a black swirl fly across my vision, not to mention that I thought one of the swirls was coming after me... And I may or may not have jumped... Out of reflex of course.
I have smoked pot loads before, but none have seemed to have had the intense blissful impact this seems to have on me.
But something that's been on my mind for a while, was pestering itself back up again.
It was a question. One that I've been wanting to ask Jordan for a while now.
"Hey Jor'?"
"Ya?" He whispered.
"Do you see dem fluffy pink unicorns up there?" I pointed towards the night sky.
"No! What the fuck are you smoking?"
"The same shit you are. I just wanted a conversation starter so that I could actually ask you an important question. And this was what first popped in my mind.." I scrunched up my face. "Actually it didn't, I wasn't even thinking that, it just kinda randomly came out... Aha.."
"Haha don't worry, it happens to me often." He waved his hand dismissively. "What were ya gonna ask?"
"Um.. What's your honest opinion of me?" I hesitantly asked.
"I think you're pretty cool."
My body slumped. "That's it?"
"Well..." He gave a dramatic pause. "I think a lot of things about you."
"Like?" I felt my hopes rise again. Stupid hopes.
"Like... You're a dumbass for running away."
"I di-"
"Let me finish." He sighed. "For that you're a dumbass. Also, for getting into a vehicle with a coke addict."
"I didn't know he/she was.."
"Even so, you shouldn't have done it yourself. Most importantly, you're alive. You had to learn the hard way, which sucks, but now you know better."
"Yeah.." I sulked.
Now I regret asking him anything.
"But, that being said, I think you're an amazing person that had a horrible past, but didn't let that choose the best of you. You didn't let it control you, nor did you let it turn you into a horrible person. This may be a bad thing to say.. But I'm glad they happened to you."
I looked at him in shock. How dare he! The things I had to suffer through! The things that nobody should ever have to live through! Things that shouldn't even exist..
"Now before you say anything, think of it like this; you wouldn't be here right now. You wouldn't have gotten the privilege to personally know the band, or even kiss a few of them like you have."
I guess.. If he puts it like that.. But still.
"Still.."
"I know. But I'm forgetting the important thing.. YOU." He looked me in the eyes. "WE wouldn't have gotten to know YOU personally, and I don't know how life would have played out that way... You've changed us...." He let in a shaky inhale. "Some of us were starting to have doubts about each other... There were at least five arguments daily.. I'm pretty sure the band was gonna break up. But when you came along, you gave us an understanding as to why we are a band. It also gave us a project to focus all our energy on."
"Really?" I gasped. "Wow.. Um... Wow.. I never knew that was possible.. That would have sucked if your band broke up."
"Yeah.. It would." He gave me a small smile.
Then for some reason, maybe because of the weed, possibly because of what he said, I lent over and lightly kissed him, but pulled away as quick as I kissed him, my cheeks glowed bright red. I hid my head in my hands once I realized what I had just done, and started mumbling incoherent curses at myself.
His cold touch made me jump. Jordan gently pulled my hands from my face and replaced them with his hands.
With hands on my cheeks he searched my eyes with curiosity.
"I've been waiting for you to do that." Jordan whispered.
My jaw dropped in shock, which, him being him, took advantage of and stuck his tongue in my mouth.
The kiss was a long passionate one. Our tongues swirling around each other's, our lips moving in sync. My hands on his cheek bones. His, running up and down my back, still aware and careful of my arm and side.
When we pulled away, both of us gasping for breath, smiling at each other, and a small string of saliva was connected to our lips.
"Oh. So you're 'tired of it' hey?" A voice mocked beside us.
