Hope isn't a word I really believe in. [ON HOLD]

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

‘There is so much in the world for us all if we only have the eyes to see it, and the heart to love it, and the hand to gather it to ourselves…’

Lucy Maud Montgomery

Pinnferr glared up at her as she walked out to the campfire. A stab of guilt shot through her and she kept walking. Was it just her, or did Kallee give her the ‘death-stare’ too?...

Bowl. Grain. Spoon.

She sat down next to Pinnferr but as soon as she got there, he said “I’m gonna’ go hunting. Bye.”

“Vot for?” Gnit asked, questioningly. “You know zere’s nothing alive in zis place!”

“Well, I’m going anyway.” he snapped.

Sinny grabbed Pinnferr’s arm. “I’ll come too.” She looked at him, apologetically.

He sighed, “Come on, then.”

Sinny threw down her grain and followed.

They went tramping through the bush. Funny Pinnferr didn’t have any hunting gear…

He kissed me, she kept on saying inside her head. He kissed me and I don’t know what to say. She tried to piece words together but for once in her life, they weren’t there.

He stopped suddenly and Sinny walked straight into him. She rubbed her tender nose, frowning and he turned around. “I know why you’re here, Sinny.”

She gulped and the words that weren’t there before, seemed to flood out of her, “Yeah Pinnferr, I’m extremely sorry! This kiss was the best thing and I was silly to think you didn’t want more than just a friendship after all these years and, and, and,” The words dried up. “I’m sorry?”

“So, Sinny; you thought ‘lets just keep kissing him and then I’ll punch him’?! Is that your way of showing affection?! Of saying ‘you’re a good kisser’? I’m a good kisser because I’ve done it so many times! But I was never happy - I was never tasting your lips! Is that what you want from me?! Because, there! I’ve admitted it! Happy, now?!” he yelled.

“Why do you want mine?...” Sinny asked quietly, immediantly knowing that she had said the wrong thing.

He rolled his eyes but it wasn’t the funny way he used to. It sent a shiver down her spine. “Go back. Go back to camp. Get away from me, your apologies are pathetic.”

Sinny looked at him with big eyes. Her blue eyes pleaded for forgiveness, but he kept a straight face – his eyes boring into hers.

I can’t lose him, she thought desperately.

“I’m really sorry!” she cried.

He continued to look at her, emotionless.

So she turned around and walked back. Solitude belonged to her again.

---------------------------------------------------

The day felt lonely; distorted in her mind. She felt small and lost – the perfect representation of her young self.

She had broken his heart.

His heart.

She’d never broken anything so valuable to someone as that before - no one would’ve trusted her with it.

She remembered the kiss – like, like… She searched for the word on the tip of her tongue, but it wasn’t there. She couldn’t describe it. Amazing? Incredible? Exhilarating? Scary? All of the above and more.