Our Secret-A Zerrie Fanfic

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I staggered my way to Perrie's ward, using the wall as support. Everything seemed so surreal, I couldn't believe it. Questions flooded my mind and I had no answers. None at all. Was there really a baby? Why didn't Perrie tell me? Did the girls knew all along? Was that why they kept whispering? How long did Perrie know about it?

I struggled with the door handle and when it finally budged, I pushed myself in, my whole weight on the door. I shuffled my feet to Perrie's bedside, dazed and the girls went over to the other side of Perrie's bed. She was still peacefully asleep, I looked at her. "You have so much to answer for." I told her in my mind.

I looked back up at the rest of the girls, they looked at me with fear and uncertainity in their eyes. "You knew" I stated the obvious.

"We recently found out, so did Perrie. She wanted to tell you as soon as you came back from America." Jade was quick to defend themselves and Perrie.

"This is completely insane, a joke. It's my baby, and I only know its exsistence after it's gone?!" I turned away from them and decided that I did some time alone before I said something that I would surely regret.

"Where are you going?! Are you leaving! She's needs you to be here with her when she's awake!" Jesy called me back.

"She needs me?" I scoffed loudly. "Doesn't seem like it. Looks like she has the people she tells everything to instead of her very own boyfriend." I stepped out and slammed the door shut behind me.

I stuck my hands in my pocket and walked with quick steps to a coffee machine. As I was waiting for my coffee, I did some thinking. How would I have reacted when I found out Perrie was pregnant? I mean, having a baby calls for a celebration, but we're both so young, so fresh in our careers. Maybe we were not ready. And maybe Perrie really did want to tell me about the baby when I was home, she just didn't have the chance to.

"Zayn Malik." I heard a soft and hushed voice called, full of obvious hatred. I turned around and found myself facing Jade.

"What do you want." I said coldly, while looking to the left to avoid having eye contact with her. She grabbed my shirt collar tight and pulled me downwards so I was facing her. Even though she was much smaller and shorter than me, I had to admit she had some massive strength.

Now with both of our faces a few inches apart she spat, "You look at me when I'm talking to you Zayn Malik. Perrie's my best friend and there's no hell of a way I'm going to stand here and watch you leave her when she needs you. Who do you think you are really, just leaving whenever you like. You have no idea how much you mean to Perrie, you have no idea how much she has done and suffered for you. Remember that morning before you left she surprised you at the airport? Yeah that. DId she tell you how she had to run a good one kilometre in the hot sun just to catch you before your flight? Of course not, she didn't want you to know. Or do you remember the time when your aunt died and she went to fetch you at the airport at 2 in the morning? Do you know how many times, when the rest of us girls were on dates with our boyfriends Perrie had to stay home all by herself because her boyfriend was in America, having the time of his life, probably even hooking up any girl while she stayed so faithful. Did you know she receieved so much hate from your directioners she cried herself to sleep? Or the fact that the hate got so bad she had to shut off her twitter? You really think that we shut off our private twitter for convenience sake? Of course not, your fans were hurting her with really mean words, asking her to kill herself. To kill herself for loving someone who doesn't love her the same way. Or the fact that every interviewer is dying to ask her questions about you which made her really uncomfortable but she had to reply them? Or the fact that Perrie actually checks your twitter everyday for even the slightest news about you because she doesn't want to pester you? You really think every time you Skype her she happens to be awake? Of course not! She stays up every night waiting for you to Skype her and most of the time you don't and in the morning we see her asleep on her computer table. She's done so much for you, she's been so faithful to you and she's been such a great girlfriend and you don't just leave over a small mistake she made. In fact she didn't even make any mistake, she really did want to tell you when you returned. She cried when she found out she was pregnant, she blamed herself even though it was your fault for being so careless and she was so worried that you would leave her when you found out. You just made her worst nightmare come true, you're just proving you're not worthy enough for her. You're hardly here, you hardly know anything that happens to her, interviewers speaks to her about you more than you actually speak to her yourself. She's been such a good girlfriend that it hurts me and the girls see Perrie pretend she doens't miss you when it's killing her inside."

I grabbed my coffee and walked past Jade. "You're still leaving after what I just said?!" She called after me.

I turned around and used my thumb to point to the direction behind me. "I'm checking up on my girlfriend." Jade smiled at me and she quickly ran after me.

At the entrance of Perrie's ward I could hear her crying hysterically. "Pez please don't cry he'll be back." Jesy comforted her.

"I heard everything he said, he was so mad at me." her voice croaked.

"It wasn't even your fault Pez he was just behaving like a kid!" Leigh-Ann said exasperated and I felt really guilty.

"He wasn't, he had all the right to be angry. And I lost the baby. I couldn't even keep a baby alive in me for a few weeks." Perrie chided herself.

I silently opened the door and made my way to Perrie, with Jade following close behind me. Perrie burried her face in her hands and Jesy was hugging Perrie tight in her arms.

The girls looked with clear hatred an annoyance with me while Jade signaled for them to leave us alone. They looked reluctant to give in to me but Jesy unwrapped herself from Perrie and they silently took their leave.

I went to Perrie's bedside where Jesy and Leigh-Ann originally were and slipped my hands round Perrie's waist, pulling her whole body towards me to let her rest on me.

She stiffened when she realized that I wasn't Jesy and turned up to look at me. When she realize it was me she quickly moved away from me and her eyes widened at the sight of me.

"Pez.." I said softly. She looked dazed and frightened, and she wasnt replying me. "Pez?" I shook her softly.

She started crying uncontrollably again and I was unsure of how to comfort her. I crawled across the bed to face her and cautiously thought about my next move. I cupped her face in my hands an pecked her softly on her lips. "I'm so sorry." I re-emphasized.

I leaned my forehead on hers but she hadn't moved an inch. "Pez, I'm sorry." I leaned in to peck her again, fighting the urge to cradle her in my arms. This time, before my lips could touch hers, she quickly pulled away and shifted herself so that she wasn't facing me.

I sat frozen staring at her, unable to comprehend why she was behaving this way. I got of the bed and cleared my throat. "I'll go grab some food, I'll... I'll be right back."

I half ran towards the door, and the moment I exited I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I leaned against the door and slide down to my knees. I didn't want to get any food, I lost all appetite I just needed an excuse to get a breather and to take in everything.

From outside I could hear Perrie start crying again, sucking in breathes in between and coughing. Suddenly, I heard Perrie vomiting and I dashed in. "Pez! Are you ok?"

I noticed that she was bending over the bed and had vomitted on the floor. I readjusted her body to allow her to lie on the bed while I wiped he mouth. I grabbed tissue papers to clean up the mess on the floor and noticed she had stained the hospital gown at the chest area and I passed her some napkins, "do you want to clean yourself up?" I asked.

She stared past me, completely ignoring my presence. Desperate, I whipped out my phone to text Jade.

To:Jade

"Where are you girls."

From: Jade

"We're at the cafeteria."

To: Jade

"Why don't you come up, Pez vomitted she probably needs you girls to help her."

From: Jade

"Will be right there."

When the girls came in they surrounded Perrie. "Pez are you ok?" They asked full of concern.

"Yeah." Perrie mumbled and stared to her right out of the window.

I knitted my eyebrows together in annoyance. Why did Perrie reply them and not me. Exasperated, I decided that my presence was not needed and took my leave. I left a voicemail for Paul to fill me in on any update if possible and told him I'll be away for a few days. I hopped into my car and just drove off, I had no particular destination in mind, I just drove and drove.