I Love You, So Much...I Mean It

The Appointment

Answering the truth will lead you somewhere, rather than an endless loop. - Gunique (me)

Georgia's P.O.V

"Okay Georgia, on a professional note, let's begin" The therapist said

Here we go!

"My name's Jess and I would like you to answer some questions" She introduced
"Okay" I spoke
"So how long have you been suicidal for?"
"I have been suicidal since 20th of February, 2015 and depressed since 2013"
"Okay, interesting. When was your last suicide attempt apart from the one a few days ago?"
"Around September last year"
"And what was the cause?"
"Myself"

Jess took down some notes and looked back to talk.

"So Georgia, you blame yourself for those attempts. Why do you blame yourself?"
"Because I am useless"
"You know you're not"
"I am. I am a toy to be played around with. The star of a sad puppet show and I am expected to be perfect"
"No one is perfect"
"Supposedly I am though so I can't rebel a little"
"You know, you don't show much of this but I have seen your video on the suicide victim tribute. That was a deeply respectful thing to do"
"Thanks, it means a lot to me"
"But I must've missed the rest of it. My question to you is why is it on unlisted rather than public?"
"That video means so much to me and I want to respect important issues like depression and suicide. It's not a joke, it not an attention seeker, it's not something to be taken lightly"
"I know. Depression and suicide are the worst things"

I felt my heart beat fast and I looked down at myself. This not how I expected this appointment to go down. Jess placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a assuring smile which made me give a weak smile back.

"Okay Georgia, so what set off this time's suicide?"
"Well, I had been bullied by Markiplier's fans since he tweeted how much of a playgirl I am and the fact that I have slept with three guys in two weeks doesn't help my case"
"So bullying?"
"Deja vu mainly.It happened on my birthday too"
"I'm so sorry to hear that"
"It's okay Jess, It's over"
"Anything else that could've been a trigger?"
"The truth of me"

Jess took down some more notes and turned to her next page.

"So what are your symptoms?"
"Insomnia, low self esteem, sadness, a messed up life. That sort of thing"
"Okay, are the bandages covering your self harm marks?"
"Yes, two on my left arm are a little deep but the rest are shallow"
"You were lucky then"
"I guess"

Jess finished off her notes on her page before moving to the next one.

"So tell me about the three men you had sexual relations with?" Jess encouraged me
"Well, the first one was Daniel Avidan. I gave my virginity to him which caused an uproar in the second man who was Mark Fischbach. He wanted me to lose my virginity to him because he 'loves me'. I slept with him as well and the next day, I had a one day stand with Barry Kramer. Then Daniel, well Danny and Mark had a fight because Mark was jealous of Danny and them Mark got jealous of Barry"
"Oh dear, so it became a love square?"
"No, Barry hasn't confessed his love to me. Only Danny and Mark. I don't Barry would confess his love to me at any point. I think he just wanted my body, even though we had a connection"
"A connection? Did you have a connection with Danny and Mark?"

I shook my head in response and bowed my head.

"I messed up" I simply stated
"Why?"
"Because I slept with three and that information is not going slide any time soon. I feel so guilty"
"Why?"
"Mark loved me and I rejected him"
"Why did you reject him?"
"Because he can do so much better than me. That's why I have to be mean, because then he can focus on other woman, rather than stupid me!"
"So what about Danny and Barry? How did they take it?"
"Well Danny hated Mark's guts for quite a bit but that died down. And Barry is willing to protect me even though it won't last long"

Jess's head cocked to the side in confusion.

"Why is that?" Jess questioned me
"Because I didn't say goodbye properly"
"Are you having suicidal thoughts right now?"
"I just didn't plan the suicide properly. But once it is set up, it will be okay"
"Georgia, you need to promise me something"
"What?"
"Promise that you will not commit suicide again"
"I don't think I can promise that"

Jess wrote some final notes before it was time to go. I left with a farewell and a time for the next appointment. I texted Mark and it turned out that he was almost there. When he turned up, I put my seat belt on and we drove home. Mark looked at me with a smile and looked to the road.

"So how did it go?" Mark smiled
"It was alright. The next appointment is next week"
"Okay, so I will take you there"
"Yeah"

I placed the card with the time in my pocket and then we reached home. I got out and Mark opened the door for me. I took one step in and then Mark shut the door and covered my eyes.

"What are you doing Mark?"
"You know, I have been thinking. You have had a lot on your plate"
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, I want you to be able to relax"
"What are you hinting at?"
"Well, I have something for you"

Mark led me with my eyes closed somewhere. I heard something in the living room as we approached it. I couldn't tell since it was unaudiable. Then it was complete silence. I stood in anticipation for what it could be.

"You ready Georgia?"
"I'm ready Mark"
"Okay, now open your eyes"

I opened eyes and adjusted to the light to see something heartwarming.
----
Ooh! What is it?! I love this series so far. What do you think? Thanks and Smilies!