One-Shots (Reader Inserts)

Pickup Lines (Mercury x Reader x Apollo) [Request]

(A/N: Sorry this request took so long... I went to the Ortho last weekend and got rubber bands so my teeth have been hurting. Send help! Anyways, sorry again and I hope you enjoy this!)

Just a few more feet...

Come on...

A little closer...

One more foot...

BAM!

   Leaves, leaves, and more leaves rained down from above and onto your unsuspecting victim. Leaves filled with various things, from paint, to honey, to even more leaves, and various other things exploded onto the God beneath you. He let out a shout of surprise and took cover behind another tree.

   Peals of laughter, male and female, shook the leaves of the tree above him, and with hesitance he peered up into the branches. He wished he hadn't. More paint and honey were hurled towards him and he cursed himself silently for his stupid mistake before taking off back the way he came.

   A Cheshire grin stretching almost from ear to ear split your face as you saw Apollo sprinting away. Mercury grinned next to you and the two of you high fived. You hopped down from the birch tree and stretched, earning a satisfying POP from your back.

"We better go before we get caught~" The two of you bounded away from the destruction the battle left behind, leaving it for some other poor soul to clean up.

   

   The usually quiet clearing was filled with cackles, disturbing the forest and slicing the silence that lay over it like a blanket. "Did you see the look on his face?!" You snickered, "Yeah! It was all like," Your face twisted to mimic the look Apollo had when he was pelted with honey, and this earned another laugh from Mercury.

"Didn't I tell you that would be fun?"

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, you did... And it sure was! It's been a long time since I've had that much fun!"

"You need to wind down more, Math isn't the only thing in the world~."

"Well excuse me Princess, but I'll have you know Math is kinda what I'm known for."

   The clearing was once again filled with silence after your last statement, but it was a comfortable silence. It was almost immediately shattered when two pairs of footsteps entered. You bolted upright from your comfortable position and noted who had appeared.

It was Apollo and Aphrodite. Why was Aphro here..? Heh, Aphro.

   Apollo was now cleaned up, no traces of honey or paint found and it looked like he had not just had a battle with a beehive. They stopped in front of you and Mercury, who was now sitting up as well, and Apollo crossed his arms and glared at Aphrodite.

"I still don't see why you had to come."

"Honey, whenever Love is involved, I have to come."

   You rose an eyebrow at her but none the less stood up and grinned. "Hi Aphro!" You shifted your gaze to Apollo, "And Apollo!" You could practically see the angry tick mark on his forehead. "What brings you to our wonderful clearing on this beautiful day?"

Apollo snorted, "Don't act all innocent! You know what you did!"

   Mercury put a hand to his heart and feigned innocence, "Oh you wound me! I'm afraid I do not know what I did!" A mischievous smile grew, "Care to tell what happened?" He received a glare in response. You and Aphrodite observed the bickering duo with amusement before she nudged you with an elbow and whispered, "So, which one do you like~?"

You choked on your spit. "W-what?!" She giggled and nudged you again, "You heard me! Which one do you like~? Apollo or Mercury~?"

"Can I choose Or?"

   An incredulous look formed on her face before it morphed into a look that did not fail to install fear into you. "Oh! So you like both?" It took a moment for you to process what she had said. But it wasn't long before a red blush erupted onto your face and you gestured wildly to her, denying everything.

   She wasn't convinced. She knew. Aphrodite knows all. If it happens to deal with love, that is. It also appeared that the two who were bickering had heard her and they were now both staring at you. This was just a wonderful day, wasn't it?

   Aphro once again giggled, "Oh it can be a threesome! I found my new OTP!" For the second time that day you found yourself choking on your spit alongside Apollo and Mercury. "No thank you!" The reply came simultaneously from the three of you, and this only made the goddess of love laugh harder.

"Come on now," She slung an arm around your shoulder, "It could work! I mean we got these three hot gods! It could work!" She leaned in closer till her face almost pressed up against yours, "Besides, think about all the... Love... You three can have!"

   The three of you now resembled roses with how red your faces were. Aphro just had to say that, didn't she? You crossed your arms, "It would not work! I have the about the same appeal of a math textbook. No one besides me likes 'em."

   A sudden smirk found its way onto Apollo's face. "Yeah, but I've never met someone who hasn't opened a math book and said 'fuck me'." Your mouth fell open. Did he just...? He totally did, didn't he? Aphrodite snickered knowingly next to you.

"Are you a magician? Cause every time I look at you everyone else disappears." Mercury had said that.

Apollo glared at him before turning back to you with a smirk, "Your body is 70% water and I'm thirsty~" Oh god. NO.

Mercury, "Your shirt has to go, but you can stay~"

   You could only stare in horror as they continued to use cheesy and downright creepy pickup lines. Aphrodite was hanging off your shoulder and trying to hold in the laughter that threatened to spill out. This was not how you imagined your evening would be.

   Mercury and Apollo were now glaring at each other. They turned sharply towards you once again and said at the exact same time, "You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me." Shit. God damn it. Aphro was practically breathless with laughter and your face was now a tomato. Lovely.

   She grinned at you and whispered, "Tell me if they're any good in bed~!" Then she turned on her heel and walked away. Her laughter echoed back. She just deserted you...! You stared after her retreating figure before two arms were slung over your shoulders and Mercury and Apollo once again said at the same time, "I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight~"

Oh Zeus...

Requested by Journeys-Emily on DeviantArt.

(A/N: Hahaahahah I had to google pickup lines and I just want to say that some of the ones I read were lovely as shit. Oh my gosh. Anyways, I didn't go back through and read this so like there might be mistakes... Tell me if you see any!)