Percy Jackson One Shots

Nancy Bobofit

Come on, what's Percy Jackson fan fiction if he doesn't meet Nancy ever again? Btw this is after the second Giant War and there is still the mist.

"Give me your pudding," I tell Kate, one of the girls in my posse. She's sat at my table longer than most, almost a whole month now.

"But, Nancy, your diet!" she says in her squeaky high pitched voice. Ugh, that was so annoying. As soon as I find someone else, I'll dump her.

"Give me the pudding or your out!" I exclaim, heaving. She hands me the pudding. I devour the chocolate flavoured heaven. I needed that. Then I look at the lid. Ugh, so many calories. I'll have to miss dinner. Maybe puke a little. I soon conclude that Kate must have bought the pudding on purpose to temp me. Oh she is gonna be so sorry.

"Kate, you, like, totes did that on purpose. You, like, know all those calories are like bad for my bode. Why did you, like, give it to me?"

"But-but-but. You asked me to." Oh, is she gonna blame it all on me, now? Honestly, back in New York people were, like, kind of cool almost, but here? In San Fran? Ugh. What a bunch of losers.

(A/N I have absolutely nothing against people who live in San Fransisco or New York. I've never actually been to either place, and after reading Percy Jackson they're both on my to-do list.)

"That's it, Kate! I've, like, had enough of your attitude! Leave! You're not, like, welcome at this table any more!" I stand up and shout.

Kate meekly stands and she's crying. Pathetic thing. I roll my eyes and turn to look at the rest of the cafeteria. "This girl has been shunned," I announce. "No one will bring up the name Kate in my presence again. Ever." I glare at everyone in turn as Kate runs, sobbing, out of the room. Then I sit down and "accidentally" flash a bit of my lacy underwear at the football jocks sitting behind me. "Whoops," I say, and wink at Alex, a gorgeous hunk who'll be found in my bed with me tomorrow morning.  

(Oh my gods, I swear I'm going to start vomiting.)

<><><Thank the gods for the time skip><><>

Ugh. Crisis time. I need a new member for my posse. Who ever heard of having only two minions. Practically medieval. I scan my math class for someone who'll fill the spot. My eyes stop on a blond. She's pretty, but more in a princess way. Nothing like me, though. I'm, like, totes hottest in the school. She'll do well in my posse, though. And since she raises her hand sooo much (we'll have to rid her of that habit) I know her name in, like, two seconds. Annabeth. It's waaaay to pretty. She can't outshine me. We'll just, like, have to call her Annie or Anna or...I know, we'll call her Beth. Perfect.

<><><><><stoof is being weird><><><><>

The next day at lunch, I invite Beth to sit with me. She says no. Can you believe the girl? I'll teach her a lesson, oh man will I ever. Now I just have to figure out who she has a crush on and sleep with him. It's, like, so simple and at the same time it'll break her heart. And plus, she's probably crushing on a hot guy, so it won't be a total waste.

I quietly wait by her locker at the end of lunch. When she opens it, I peek inside. Sure enough pictures of a hunky boy plaster the door. He has black hair and green eyes. Now I just have to find him.

<><another beloved time skippy thing><>

There's a new boy. And guess what. He's the guy plastered all over Annabeth's locker. Score! This is gonna be, like, so much easier than I thought!

I steal a look at him. He's even hotter in real life. But he also feels familiar. I don't know how, but it's in the way he sits at the back of the class and hardly does anything to get attention, but when he does it's always because he's pissed. I think I know him. I just can't put my finger on it. Soon I learn he moved from New York. He must have gone to my old school and I slept with him. So his name's either, Jake, Caleb, Jack, Heathcliff (it was a dare), Sean...oh dear, I can't remember them all. Oh well, who needs names when I'm involved?

Before I trot off to Science class, I meet the hottie by his locker. "Hey, dreamboat. I've been looking for you." Usually this makes guys press me up against their locker to kiss me clean, but for some reason it only makes him shiver in pleasure. (Disgust in the house.) So I slip in between him and his locker and squirm against him. "You know you wanna," I whisper like a cool breeze in his ear.

He backs away. "Baby!" I cry. For the first time he looks at me full in the face. "Oh my gods, you're Nancy Bobofit."

"Oh, so I have slept with you back in New York."

"Eww! Oh gods NO! I knew you in the seventh grade for Zeus's sake! You honestly have no clue who I am, do you?" he asks.

"Baby, why would I-" Schist. I know now. Seventh grade. But, like, they couldn't be the same. This guy is, like, soooo much hotter than that loser could ever be. "Percy Jackson?" I ask, praying I'm wrong.

He towers over me, his eyes glaring at me, wishing I were dead rather than here. "Yeah."

I slump against the lockers in defeat. Schist, maybe getting back at Beth isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Speaking of the devil...

"Annie, guess who this is," starts Percy.

"First of all, don't ever call me Annie. Second of all, who?" Beth says.

"Remember that big, mean old bully who terrorized me and Grover back in the sixth grade? Found her." He points at me.

Beth raises her eyebrows at me. Than she raises her right hand, clamped in a fist. She punches me in the jaw. "That was for Percy!" She punches me a second time. "And that was for Grover!"

"I'm never going to live up to those punches," states Percy. "So, here." And he kicks me once, like, really hard in the shin. "Owwww!" I shriek. They both roll their eyes. Annabeth mutters something like, "She's worse than Zeus." Then they walk away, like, just leaving me against a locker.

I went through many emotions writing this. First I was pissed, cause what sane person needs a posse. Then I felt kind of sorry for Nancy cause I made her anorexic. Then I started laughing really hard at how many time she used the word 'like'. Then I just got pissed again. And then I felt like vomiting (as already stated). Then I went through yet another vomiting stage immediately following. Then I fell into a Percabeth emotional state in which all I could think was Percabeth. It kind of felt like someone skipping around my brain chanting, Percabeth! Percabeth! Over and over.

Can people make Percabeth an actually emotional state? Meaning the joyfulness of an obsession or something like that?

It must happen.

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~omgitshappenninng 😜