Life as I Know It

Chapter 14

A/N: Aww you guys really felt for Bella last chapter. She appreciates the love! :) I always forget to credit my bud April Salter (aka fyrebirch89) for always finding time to edit my work. Thanks, girl!

Previously...

"So, are you...firing me? Am I suspended?"

She sighed and glanced at the security cameras. "Well, it's up to you. The sales business isn't for everyone. Either you can stay, but most likely, you'd be shifted for two or three days a week, at most. And then we'd see if you'd progress from then." She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, and smiled sympathetically. "I'll give you a minute to think it over, 'kay?"

I nodded again and she slid past me, walking out into the front of the store.

~oOo~

My chest felt like it was filled with air that I couldn't let go. I felt the room spinning a bit, so I walked carefully to the bathroom, stopping midway to grab my phone. I shut and locked the door to prevent anyone else from coming in. I took one look in the mirror and felt tears slide down my face. I sat on the toilet, just breathing deeply and crying silently. I covered my mouth with a fist to stifle my tears, but I still heard some sniffles coming out.

I knew I wasn't going to stay at this job forever, but I'd thought I'd at least stay for the rest of the year, or until the fall when some of the workers my age went back to school. But I was already in school, and Stacey knew that, so I couldn't use that as an excuse to quit. But I knew that I couldn't keep asking my parents for money when I was perfectly capable of making my own in this slow town. But I didn't know what else to do now. I didn't want to stay, but I couldn't leave now.

I turned on my phone and swiped to find Edward's number. My thumbs typed out a message but I couldn't get myself to press the 'Send' button. I didn't want to become so dependent on him, even though he was all I ever wanted in a relationship. It was still new, but his warmth and positivity was so sweet, and I felt really safe with him. Despite our argument in the car, I didn't want to be without him, but I didn't want to depend on him all the time.

I glanced at the time. 2 pm. Three more hours if I decided to stay. The rest of the day off, if I decided to go. On one hand, I could stay and finish my shift, or I could leave and be stuck in another job hunt for the rest of the year.

I sighed, trying to reel in my emotions, wiped my tears, and silenced my phone. I unlocked and opened the door to find my friend and co-worker Angela come in.

"Hey, Bella. What's up?" She smiled, and I tried to give her one back.

"Hey..." I replied back, but a sniffle came out.

"You okay? What's wrong? Your eyes are red." Her brow crinkled in concern.

I waved my hand over my face, producing more tears. "Yeah, I'm fine, just allergies." I sniffled again and rubbed my nose.

"Aww, that's not good. You sure you're okay? I saw Stacey come in with you when you came in. What'd she say?" She pushed up her glasses and sat in the computer desk to sign in.

I looked down and away, not wanting to discuss this with someone until I got home. But I could at least tell her. "She thinks my performance is low, and gave me the decision on whether or not I should stay."

"What? Why? You're good with customers. You know your way around the store. Yeah, you're shy and keep to yourself, but who didn't start off that way when they first started working?" She shook her head and sighed impatiently, her hands upright on her hips. "She has some nerve. She's been here not even a month, after our old boss left for Spokane, and she thinks she can throw out the quiet ones? If I..." she trailed off when our stock manager came in, grabbed a plush Stitch toy, and left.

Angela pulled me off inside the bathroom and locked the door. She lowered her voice, which wasn't necessary because there weren't any hidden cameras here. "If I were you, I'd quit just to spite her. You're fine the way you are. I don't see why she'd make you choose to leave or stay."

I shrugged, my mood plummeting down more and more. "If I leave now, I'll probably end up looking for another useless seasonal job and then by the end of the year, I'll be unemployed again."

"So look for something with more substance. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be?"

I sighed, my hands flying up in the air in confusion. "I don't know, Ang. I like to write. I like writing short stories and poetry and stuff. I'm a Communications major at school." My hands gravitated towards my ponytail, and I began playing with my messy, curly ends.

Angela crossed her arms, her heels rocking back and forth a bit. "What year are you? Freshman?"

"Junior."

"Oh, so you're almost done."

I nodded. "Yeah. And I still don't know... what I want. But I can't be doing part-time jobs all my life. I want something with more substance."

My friend sighed again and put both hands on my shoulders, making me look deep into her wire-rimmed hazel eyes. "If I were you, I'd leave here to go find that job. That kind of career that you love, that you'd put your whole heart into. Not something just to make a quick buck. And you're so smart. Smarter than you give yourself credit for. You don't need this"―she waved around us in the dirty bathroom―"holding you back."

I nodded again, my nerves taking over me again. "So you're saying quit."

"No, I'm saying do what you want. Stay, leave, whatever. But always keep looking forward. That's the best we can do in this life." She smirked, her attitude changing a bit. "And besides, that guy you're always crushing on seems to like you."

My face burned with the mention of Edward. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

"Aww, so it's more than just a crush, huh?"

"Yeah. He's kinda my boyfriend now. I still can't believe it!" A giggle came out, and I covered my mouth, my face burning.

"Aww, I'm so happy for you. He's hot! Good choice!"

I rolled my eyes, but my face hurt from blushing and smiling so much. "Yeah, he's so sweet and so great. And he's my neighbor too, which is even weirder."

"Oh, that's nice. At least you have him right when you need him."

I gasped at her suggestive remark. "Ok, I think it's time for you to go back to work now." I laughed, pushing her toward the door.

"Ok, ok I'll go but you don't have to." She unlocked the door and opened it again. She turned back around and gave me a hug. I felt my body freeze then warm up to her warm arms. "You do what you want. And do what you like. If anything, we should hang out more."

I smiled sadly, the tension of my job status hanging over my head again. "Thanks, Ang."

I watched her leave, leaving me to my thoughts once again.

A/N: Do you think Bella should stay or move on? Review, favorite, and share.

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