Life as I Know It

Chapter 21

Previously...

"Can I see you?"

"My window is open." I glanced to my open blinds on my window.

"I mean really see you. I want to fix this with you."

I sighed. "Maybe. I do miss you, too."

"Yeah... so, whenever you're ready."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'll let you know."

"Okay."

I hung up on him and lay on my bed for a while.

~oOo~

I let my mind wander for a while, thinking over everything Edward and I had talked about. He had a right to be upset at my assumptions about Tanya, but he didn't realize that I could be upset about him not saying 'I love you' back. I knew that he wasn't there yet, but my heart was still hurt at the fact. Or maybe I was being too sensitive about the whole thing. Maybe this whole mess was telling me to calm down, take us slow, and see where it went. It sounded easier said than done, especially since I let it out first. But now that it was out there, there was no going back. I couldn't take it back, only decide if I wanted to stay with him or go on without him.

My heart hurt at the thought of letting him go. But I had to be mature enough to give him time.

I knew we'd still have discussions on it, but I knew that I would be happier having them with him than without. He was worth it, all of it.

I suddenly got up, put on some proper clothes and a jacket, ran outside, and knocked on Edward's back door. My foot tapped on the pavement impatiently, but my heart jumped when I saw his silhouette come toward the door. He slowly unlocked and opened the back door, and I ran into his arms. He froze for a minute, but then I felt him hold my waist closer. He sighed into my hair, and I smiled shyly. I could have sworn I heard his heart beating faster in his chest.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled in my hair.

"Me too," I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. I sniffled and felt his thumbs brush my tears away. My fingers went up to the nape of his neck, drawing him in for a kiss.

A throat cleared, and we separated slowly to see Jasper, a smug smile on his face. My face burned, and I shyly waved back. "Hi, Jasper." I smiled and signed.

"So, you're back?" he signed.

"Um..." I looked up to Edward, but he spoke before me.

"She never left, dude. We just had a misunderstanding. But it's all good now." He smirked and signed back, speaking out for my benefit.

"Ok, you guys should just get married already, you fight like an old married couple anyway," Jasper joked, and Edward ran out to chase him.

I giggled and laughed at their banter. Edward looked back to me and I took his hand. "He's such a little prick."

"Yeah, but he's a nice little prick." I giggled, and he wrapped an arm around me to kiss my forehead.

"So did you come over just to make up?" he asked.

"Yeah, kinda. I finished my last assignment for my class, so we can hang out until Tuesday." I smiled, not letting him go.

"Okay, cool." He kissed me again, and we went into the living room to hang out. We didn't do anything big, just watched TV and played video games (which I sucked at, but Edward was so sweet to teach me anyway). It was nice to let go of the arguing and fighting and just be together again.

~oOo~

We fell asleep on Edward's couch when I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket. I peeked my eyes open and gently moved Edward's arm over me to check my phone.

Where r u?! You just disappeared without telling me – Mom

I'm over at Edward's. We talked about everything and we made up. – B

Made up... how? – Mom

Idk I just went over there and hugged him and we said sorry, and that was it. – B

Ok. So everything's ok? – Mom

Yeah we're good. I just woke up, actually. – B

Woke up... How? – Mom

Mom!! – B

I'm just asking! If you guys... - Mom

Mom!! Please! We didn't!! We played video games and watched TV and stuff – B

And stuff? What kind of stuff? – Mom

MOM. We did nothing ok? Chill. – B

Ok. Just stay safe. Seriously. – Mom

Always am. And it's Edward, mom. You know he's a good guy. – B

Yeah. Ok just as long as you're ok. And happy. – Mom

Yeah I'm happy <3 – B

Good - Mom

I rolled my eyes and pushed Edward's arm fully off, waking him up in a snort of profanities. I giggled, and stretched my arms above my head.

"What's up?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"My mom is getting worried about me. I should go home now," I said, a touch of sadness in my voice.

"Oh, really? Now? I feel like you just got here," he said, his hands stroking my hair a bit.

"Yeah, she didn't even know I was here. I just came out to talk to you." I shrugged. "I don't know, I just felt the need to come back. Not letting anyone know, not even my mom, just... I dunno, I just did it." A snicker left at the end of my voice, making him laugh as well.

He pulled me closer and I laid my head on his chest. "And how did that feel?"

"Good. Just to do something that was like, 'I didn't have to plan anything, I didn't think about anything. Well, I did think a bit before I came down, obviously." I chuckled as I continued, "But yeah, it felt good just to just go out there and just do it. Just go out and just do it. It felt good."

"That's good." He stroked my hair slowly in a rhythm, almost making me fall asleep again. I didn't want to go over my house yet, but in the back of my mind, it'd be a little weird for me to show up in the morning wearing the same clothes. His deep voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "That's how it should feel all the time. Like you want to do something that's totally outside of you, that you just do it. That's how I felt when I first asked you out."

I turned over in his arms to look into his deep green eyes. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us did it, considering how much time we spend together. Whether on our own or with other people. But that time I really felt some type of way about it. Like I wanted this to mean something."

A sweet smile crept on my face as I kissed his lips. "I want it to mean something too." We both sat up together. "But I should really go, before my mom sends out a search party for me."

"Before she does, or you do?" He winked.

"Um... both?" shyly, I said, and he rolled his eyes. Standing up, he helped me up, but didn't let go of my hands as we walked to the back door.

"So, tomorrow?" He smiled.

"Yeah." I bit my lip as he came closer to kiss me goodbye. "Tell Jazz I said bye, okay?"

"Sure." He nodded as he held me closer to him. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew I couldn't stay without it getting weird, what with Jazz being home. He couldn't hear anything but it would still be very awkward with us downstairs.

I finally let go and left, feeling his stare on the back of my head.