My not so Innocent Love [BoyxBoy]

Not so Unwelcome Changes

            “What’s wrong with me?” Keith complained as he threw himself on his bed. Nothing goes as he planned. He wanted to patch things up with Laverne, to mend their relationship and to apologize. He wanted them to start being good brothers at the least. But the mere fact that Laverne himself was pushing him into a date with Jessica irritated him so much. He didn’t even know how that Allan got in the conversation.

            “Just who is that Allan anyway?! What is he to Laverne?! Shit! Why am I so concern about this…?” Keith complained to himself.

            Keith continued on avoiding Laverne the next day. He really wanted to treat Laverne nicely, actually nicer than he treated everyone else. But being near Laverne was making him so nervous that he couldn’t act the way he really wanted. He was never so affected by anyone’s presence before. But all it takes was Laverne to look at him and his mind and heart would go berserk and beyond his control.

            He had a date with Jessica the following night, but unlike the first one, he couldn’t enjoy at all. He kept on thinking about Laverne the whole time. How could he treat nicely from then on? How can he compose himself whenever Laverne is near? How can he make Laverne feel welcome? And most of all, how would he say that he never hated Laverne? Keith was really having a hard time dealing with his feelings for Laverne.

            Jessica asked Keith for a drink in a classy bar after dinner. And although Keith continued on being a perfect gentleman, his mind won’t leave Laverne at all. He was thinking about what relationship Laverne really have with that Allan. He was getting really annoyed thinking that Allan could get really close to Laverne. He wanted to be the closest one to Laverne, and it was irritating for him that it he was not.

His date that night ended really late and it was during that particular night that he came home to see Laverne sleeping on the couch, with the TV still on. Keith noticed that Laverne’s phone was on the sofa with the screen still on. Keith was surprised to see his name on the phone’s screen. “Were you planning on calling me?” Keith whispered to himself. “Are you possibly worried?” Keith said as he kneeled in front of the sofa and then slowly reached for Laverne’s face. His heart was beating so hard and fast. His heart was so loud that Keith was afraid that Laverne might wake up to the sound of it.

            Laverne was only trying to be close to him, Keith knew that. But the reason why he couldn’t stand that was Laverne’s reason. Keith was thinking that Laverne wanted to be close to him just as a stepbrother, but the truth was; Keith wanted more.

            He was just afraid of what he was feeling for Laverne that he always ended up being on edge. He wanted to take care of Laverne, to be attentive, and to be someone that Laverne could get close to. Keith wanted to get really close to Laverne, to monopolize him. He didn’t want to just a brother.

            “I’m sorry, for being such a coward.” Keith said gently as he touched Laverne’s face. How he wanted to touch Laverne for so long. And when he had the chance to, at the music video shoot, his heart almost explode because of excitement. It was a good thing that their moment was interrupted, or else Keith would lose control. “The truth is; I don’t really hate you. But I know what I’m really feeling for you is wrong and treating you meanly and coldly is the way I could think of to put a barrier between us. Without that barrier, we might get closer and I might lose all control. You’re my brother… my dear stepbrother… Why do we have to be stepbrothers…?” Keith said sadly as he caressed Laverne’s face.

            To his surprise, Laverne stayed in deep slumber. He tried to wake him up, but Laverne looked so tired that he won’t even budge. Seeing Laverne sleep in that couch was making Keith really worried. He was worried that Laverne might be sore in the morning. Without even thinking twice, Keith carried Laverne up. Something fell form Laverne’s hand when Keith tried to lift Laverne. It was the pendant that Laverne was always wearing. Keith felt weird, holding that pendant. He picked the pedant on the ground before lifting Laverne off the couch.