Troubled

Chapter 19

I didn't go to school today and the other day.

I called in to say that I caught the flu. Yes, it's a lie.

I couldn't go to school. I'll just be moping around, barking at students and pouring my hatred to the world onto them and I couldn't do that. No, not anymore. I've been giving them hell for who knows how long? I was too selfish. All I can think about was Reedley University. And I still am. Because right now all can think about is a man with piercing blue eyes. All I could feel is anxiety without Craig and I know that it's perfectly wrong to depend my happiness onto him.

Nothing lasts forever.

•••

Autumn managed to grab me off of my bed and drag me into her car.

I couldn't care less about school. Not without Craig.

It seemed as though my world was black and white. More shaded color that James' funeral.

My steps were heavy.

Trash bins were surrounded by crumpled paper that these students threw in attempt for a shot. They stood alert as I pass by and picked every single paper. A group of people were chatting in the middle of the hallway and they immediately brought their group aside as they caught sight of me.

I was too focused on the bad side of these students that I hardly noticed their good side.

There were less loitering, there were less PDAs and there were less students running around the halls.

I felt a sharp pang on my chest as I realized it.

I'm missing the boys.

The troublemakers.

I'm missing Craig.

And I felt another pang and I felt like my whole chest was closing up.

I like to believe that I'll see him again but I know that I can't hold on to that lie any longer.

Everyone leaves.

I felt panic surge through me and I can't see anything but the emptiness of my life.

It's happening again. The panic attacks that I had experienced ever since mom's departure.

I've been fighting for years and I can not let this happen again.

"Inggrid, oh god, Inggrid!" I focused on my surroundings as I heard a piercing voice that I am sure of that I am very familiar with but I still can't recognize. I focused harder and felt the wind gushing over my ear. "Inggrid!"

I shot my eyes open which I absentmindedly closed.

My world was slurry but I saw Ethan and Autumn, crying.

"Oh thank goodness!" Ethan whipped in relief and I realized that I was in his arms and he had been running.

"Set her down." I heard Autumn and I felt being brought down onto something grassy.