Troubled

Chapter 9

I remember the feeling when I got ready for school that certain day and sat on the passenger seat on mom's Honda Civic.

I remember her in her usual working attire and waving at me and blowing a kiss before she sped off leaving me in front of my school.

I remember that exact day back on sixth grade when I got home and went straight into the kitchen. I saw a sticky note stuck on a cookie jar and I knew for sure that the message was for me. I always take a cookie after I go home from school.

From a far away view, I had already recognized her elegant handwriting. Quite the opposite of dad's.

I read it.

I read it again.

And again.

I think normal people would feel betrayed or hurt or sad or angry but, to be honest, in that moment I felt nothing.

Nothing.

I felt like I wasn't capable of feeling anything.

I felt like I was just a flesh with no soul. Well, not that I'm aware of that moment. Have you ever felt like that? Like you weren't really there but you are.

I stood there a little too long until I heard dad bursting into the front door humming his happy song. He always does that. Humming their wedding song every time he comes home and cooks dinner for mom because mom was always the one coming home late from work and dad wasn't bothered of that. No, I don't think it was the trust he had on her.

I think it's his unconditional love for her.

I felt his presence behind me. I couldn't hear it quite clearly but I think he asked me of what I was doing or how was school or what was wrong. I just couldn't process everything.

I didn't know how I said it. I just did.

"Mom went to work and has no plans on coming back."

I watched as his face fell along with his world.

It was when I felt my heart crumbling as well as every bone in my body.