You Are My Happiness (Ianthony)

Chapter 6 - Alone

Without Anthony, the house is so unbelieveably empty. And silent. It actually creeps me out a bit. I've never been a fan of silence or loneliness. That is why I was kind of insecure and sad the school years before I met Anthony. No one to talk to, no one to play with. Usually boys easily get friends and have many, but I'm not a normal boy apparently. I only have Anthony. Correction, I only had Anthony. He was my first and only real friend. 

So hopefully you understand why I'm so emotional about him. He gave me something to smile about. My mother told me that I rarely smiled until that day I met Anthony. She considered getting me help, because it's not normal for kids to be so emotionless and sad. She made up her mind when I started in sixth grade and I was still that way. After a few years she told me that that day I came home with Anthony, she was about to tell me about an appointment at a psychiatrist to get help. But she changed her mind when she saw me with the biggest smile on my face when I introduced her to my new friend. 

Now that he's gone, I'm back to my childhood. Alone. Empty. Emotionless. I know it's weird for a nineteen year old boy to be so devastated about his best friend's death, but have I ever been a normal kid? Guess not.. 

I barely get through the day without bursting into tears. All I do is walking around the big, empty house and wondering what to do. The funeral is tomorrow, and I've been asked to held a speech for his sake. Of course I'll do it, but I won't prepare it on beforehand. When I talk about Anthony, it's straight from the heart. Those platonic speeches that are prepared and written, aren't that valuable. The things they say may come from their hearts, but not in the same way as if you tell them how you feel about that person at the moment you are holding the speech. I've felt the same way about Anthony through all these years. He was my first and only friend and my best friend. 

I looked at the couch and remembered when we sat in it, playing Super Mario on the old Nintendo 64 console. I remembered when we sat and ate pizza. We talked and joked around. At one point, we laughed so much that we almost choke on our pizza. Then I looked over at the kitchen we rarely used, because none of us actually managed to cook anything edible. I remembered when we tried making grilled cheese sandwiches and the whole house got covered by smoke. Don't even ask what we did wrong. 

During these two days, I've been forced to walk past his bedroom so many times. You see, there's two reasons: 1) His bedroom is between mine and the bathroom, living room and kitchen. As well as the entrance door. 2) I just feel like he's still in there. I feel something pull me towards it. I've opened the door multiple times, being convinced he was in there on his bed playing on his DS, and then get sad as  the memory of him being gone coming back to my mind.

Why did that drunk-driver hit Anthony's car and not anyone else's? Not that I wish for someone to die, but at least Anthony would be here with me now. He would bright up my day without even knowing he did. 

I've never been the type who likes to feel sorry for himself, but I'm so lonely. No one to talk to. Nothing to do. I've barely talked after I told Kristin, only the short phone calls with Mrs Padilla and one extremely short phone call from my mom. She told me that my dad and her was going on a vacation on Hawaii for two weeks. They've been saving money for a couple of years. She called it their additional honeymoon, which she calls it whenever they leave on vacation without bringing me or my sister.

I wish I could call my sister, but we haven't talked since she moved to study in Sweden when I was 13. She was 20 back then, and she fell in love with this guy. They moved to Sweden together and both studies for a doctor's degree. I'm proud, I haven't yet decided what I want to do with my life. 

I'm even more confused now that I don't have Anthony anymore...

Author's Note: The fanfic has now almost 200 reads! That is so awesome, I never even thought it would get 20 :pp I also thought it wouldn't be more than 5 chapters, but I guess it will. 

PS: I'm working on another Ianthony fanfic, since I'm a bit stuck on this one.. I have an ending, but I'm a bit unsure if I want it to end that way or make a better ending.. ANYWAY, first chapter of the new fanfic will be up shortly. I may publish the second chapter as well, if I get it finished during today :)

Fan/follow to get to know when I publish. Vote for this fanfic if you enjoyed. Comment and tell me your opinion! :)

-RandomUniCorny ;3