You Are My Happiness (Ianthony)

Alt. ending 2 - Reunion

Ian's POV

It's been a week since Anthony's funeral. I still feel the same emptiness and the feeling of losing the most important person in my life. Because I did. My life would basically suck, if it wasn't for my dear Anthony. As I've said a million times now, he brought the sunshine to my life.

My fists hurt from hitting the wall whenever my head got flushed with an ocean of memories about Anthony. They would just pop up, while I was trying to deal with life. As I was pouring myself some cereal, I imagined him laughing at me the time I walked straight into my bedroom door. And how he had stopped laughing and went over to see if I was okay. He had stroked my hair and examined my forehead to see if I had hurt myself bad. Those kinds of memories made me sad, but then angry at myself for not telling him before he..you know..died.

I can't take it anymore. I can't live on without him. I tried so hard. I tried so hard to stay alive, but I haven't slept properly in weeks and I am exhausted. Death would be a relief compared to the hell I'm stuck in. Maybe I should just end it? There's no one left in my life who would've cared. Well, my mum and maybe some other family members, but hopefully they would understand why I would do it. Hopefully they understand that I can't live on without Anthony. On the other side, hopefully I would see my Anthony again. I would be able to let my eyes take in all his beauty and tell him what I've been holding in for years.

I have decided.

I grabbed my car keys and stormed out the door, got in my blue Subaru and started driving down the road. It was early evening and most people were inside, eating and enjoying the company of the people they love. How can some people be so lucky, when others get a bad lack of it? As I was about to pass a house, I looked through the window to see a couple with a little girl. They seemed like a happy family. I looked away and sped up, not wanting to see anyone happy when I clearly wasn't.

I drove onto the familiar road that I've been on several times, and it was also Anthony's last drive. My eyes caught a big tree on the side of the road, not that far away. It was a nice tree, too bad for something like this would happen to it. I sped up and as the tree got closer and closer, I turned the wheel quickly right towards it. Now the tree was extremely close and I shut my eyes. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. 

"See you soon, Anthony," I whispered as I pressed the gas pedal once more and let i happen.

(News on TV)

This evening, it was reported a crash on a normally really crowded road in Sacramento. Only a few weeks earlier, it was another crash on the same road where the 19 year old Anthony Padilla died from a drunkdriver crashing into the teenager's car. In this crash, no other cars were involved. The paramedics are counting it as a way of committing suicide as the car had been driving straight into a tree. The victim of the crash is the 19 year old Ian Andrew Hecox, who had a close relation to Padilla. The police and paramedics believe Hecox committed suicide because of the loss of his close best friend.

(end)

I opened my eyes and sat upright. I was no longer in my car, I was in an open, beautiful grass field. There was complete silence, not even birds. Is this the heaven people believe in? That means, since I died, where's Anthony? I thought he would be here as well. I thought you got reunited with your loved ones after you left the land of the living. Maybe he ended up here, but moved on. It's been a while so I wouldn't be surprised. It must be awful to be here, all alone. Tears started forming in my eyes and I buried my face in my hands. Now I'm all alone, I thought.

Then I heard footsteps coming closer. Careful footsteps, they seemed hesitant. Before I managed to lift my head, I could hear a voice.

"Ian?"

I lifted my head and looked over to where my name has been called from. There I saw him. Just like he was when he was alive. Only that his eyes were watering, which they rarely did. I stood up slowly and he gave me a smile before I ran into his arms. It felt so good to feel his warmth again, and his hugs were the best. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and hugged him tightly. 

"I've missed you so much," I whispered. 

"I've missed you too, Ian" he whispered back and I realized I had to tell him. I slowly pulled away and looked up at him.

"I have to tell you something, I-"

"You sure you don't mean you were dying to tell me something?" he said and gave a short laugh.

"I guess I was," I replied and laughed shortly. I looked down and continued. "Anyway, I've been holding this for myself for several years, and it's about time I tell you this. I..I love you, Anthony. As something more than my best friend. I've been feeling this way for a while, but I completely understand if you don't feel the same way. But I couldn't go on without tell-"

I got cut off by his lips crashing into mine. My eyes widened in surprise, but I quickly kissed back. When we pulled away, he cupped my face and looked straight into my eyes, smiling.

"I love you, Ian. I have to admit that I tried to get over it because I thought you were straight and that's why I got together with Kristin. I was on my way to break up with her the day, you know.." he said.

"I understand. At least we are together now, but what happens next?" I asked. Anthony shrugged and looked over the huge grass field.

"I have no idea, I guess we just stay together and see what happens?" he said and I nodded. 

We sat down in the grass and I rested my head on his chest. I felt his hand around my lower waist, pulling me closer. He smelled the same, his favourite cologne. I inhaled his smell and I could hear him giggling slightly at my weirdness. I just smiled and relaxed. For the first time in a long time, all my needs were fulfilled. I felt no hunger, no exhaustion, no stress. Just pure happiness and love. I was happy, happier than I have ever been while alive. I don't care about what happens next, as long as we stay together as we were meant to do.  For a moment, I started thinking about 'what ifs', but I quickly pushed them away. Nothing will ruin this for me. In a swift movement, I moved myself to straddle his thigs. He looked up at me surprised, but then he smirked. He moved his hands to my hair and played with it. 

"Hey, Anthony?" 

"Yeah?" he replied.

"I just wanted you to know that you are my happiness. I've never felt this good as I do now. Thank you."

"You're my happiness as well, you've always been. And I am so sorry that we both had to die to be happy. If only I had told you sooner, maybe you-" 

"Don't say that, what's done is done. There's no way we can change that fact, but things ended up well for us anyway, right?" I cut him off. He nodded. "so please, don't feel guilty about this. If there's anyone's fault in this, I'm responsible as well. Let's just forget about it, and focuse on this." I said and stroked his cheek. A slight blush crept across his cheeks and he smiled, which made me smile as well. I gently pressed my lips against his and he returned the favor. Our lips moved in perfect sync and as he licked my bottom lip, asking to enter, I let him in. His tongue explored my mouth and it felt amazing. His right hand was caressing my hair as his left was rested on my lower back. We continued until our bodies begged for air, and we pulled away. I rested my forehead against his and we smiled wide at each other.

"I love you" we whispered at the same time, for some reason our timing skills has been improved. We sat like this for what seemed like forever. Who knows, maybe it was? No one knows.