You Are My Happiness (Ianthony)

Chapter 8 - His funeral (pt. 1)

This is the day. This is the last day I will ever see Anthony. And my last glance will be his life-less body in a wooden casket. My last look at my long-time best friend and, recently discovered and accepted, crush will be dead in a box! 

I knew he would die once. We all do! But at the age of nineteen is too early. It is so painful to think that a life can be taken away so fast after it has been granted. Yes. It sounds like I'm talking about a newborn baby, but nineteen years isn't much of a life! We recently got out of high school and started to live! I remember all the things we wanted to do..

Anthony always told me he wanted to see the Eiffel Tower in person. I suggested he could go with Kristin and make it a little romantic holiday, but then he surprised me: He rejected the idea. He said that he would rather travel there with me. At that time, I just agreed and didn't think further about it.

But now.. It makes me feel a tiny bit flattered. He would rather leave with his male best friend instead of his lovely girlfriend to such a romantic destination as Paris. Maybe.. Just maybe he had feelings towards me as well?

That doesn't matter now, I will never know for sure. He is gone. I have to stop thinking about 'what if' or about how we could've lived, when I know that he's not coming back. It will eventually kill me from the inside out and break me until I won't be able to live any longer. 

Back to the subject: his funeral. There won't be that many family member attending because of the short notice (Well what did they expect? Getting an invitation a year before his death and funeral itself?) and that many of them live in other countries and states. At least his closest family are gathered. In addition, Kristin and myself are here. She seems to be dealing better than me, but of course. She's not the one who's known him for years.. 

The only speechers today will be myself and Mrs Padilla. You would've thought his dad would be here, but no one has seen him since he left his family many years ago. Mrs Padilla tried to find him, so at least he could see his son (who he abandoned to take care of his family) one last time. But she didn't have any luck.

I didn't tell anyone, but I didn't want him here. Not that I have anything to say in that case. Anthony told me everything about how he was a good father until one day he just left without saying or doing anything on beforehand. Since Mrs Padilla suffers from severe panic attacks, Anthony had to take care of them by going to the store and such. His father knew about this, but still left. 

Anthony suffered from panic attacks as well, and I was one of the only people he would allow near him while he had one. After a panic attack, I learned how to calm him down and after that: he always called for me whenever he encountered a panic attack. I appreciated that he trusted me enough for that. If I suffered from something like that, I wouldn't let just anyone be with me. Only Anthony. He's the only one I would ever trust that much.

Earlier, I got an offer to see Anthony once more before the funeral started. I considered it for a moment, but declined. I would rather remember him as happy and filled with life, than a pale corpse in a coffin. I know the funeral services make him look presentable with nice clothes and makeup, but he's still dead. If  I went to see him and that he looked life-like, my mind would try to trick me into thinking he was just sleeping and that would hurt more than it already does.

I didn't sleep at all last night, which explains why there are heavy bags under my eyes and my eyes were wet and red from crying. Hell, I haven't slept good or at all since Anthony died. Even though I looked like a mess, I tried to look presentable. I had grabbed my only suit, that was a bit too big for me, and my finest black shoes. I put on a black tie and fixed my messy bowl haircut as good as I could. Then I had left to go to the funeral.

Now that I was here, I really didn't want to be here. All the sad people reminded me of myself and I've always found graveyards creepy, even in bright daylight. But I had to be here. This was the day Anthony would be lowered down in a coffin to be united with the Earth. Wow. Deep, Ian. Shut up.

Before I could think any further, the church bell rang and everyone found their places. 

I sat down between Kristin and Mrs Padilla. His mother was crying, but Kristin just sat there and stared blankly forward. When I sat down, Mrs Padilla looked up at me. She must have noticed how bad I looked, since she failed at an attempt of giving me a weak smile. Then the priest approached the altar, that stood beside Anthony's coffin. Normally, everyone stood up. But not today, everyone stayed seated. After that, the organist started playing and everyone turned silent. After the song melody was done, the priest spoke up. 

"We are gathered here today to say farewell to Anthony Padilla who is now in God's hands. He passed away young and we will all remember his time here. If anyone wants to say anything about him, please come up to the altar." the priest said before stepping aside. 

I looked at Mrs Padilla and she didn't seem any calmer than a few minutes ago. 

"Shall I speak first?" I whispered to her and she nodded. I then proceeded to walk up to the altar. When I stood there, I didn't feel nervous at all. Which was weird, considering I 've always been afraid of talking in front of many people. Today was different. I felt it. I cleared my throat and began..

Author's Note: Cliffhanger, sort of. Sorry, I had to. Anyway, here's chapter 8! This was kind of difficult to write, considering I was very young last time I attended a funeral and it was in Norwegian. But I think I did a good job :) Don't worry, chapter 9 won't be far away!

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-RandomUniCorny ;3