Trust Me [Book 2]

Chapter 20 Part 1: Déjà Vu

Chapter 20 Part 1– [November 5th]

"Are you mad?"

I was pissed but not at her so I shook my head.

"Will Daddy be mad?"

"No." He should be ashamed of himself. "Why did you say she's mean?"

"She calls me bad words. She say I'm ugly and annoying. But I very cute, right Mommy?..." The rest of Rocky's words faded. I couldn't hear a damn thing over my heartbeat.

"Her name is Skye? What does she look like?" I had to confirm. Please God let Rocky be talking about a different Skye. Please. Please let it not be the same bitch from years ago.

"Brown hair and skin like me and Daddy's and red lips."

Red lips.

I forced a peaceful smile, willing tears away from my eyes. Taking out my phone, I sent one text before deleting Rick's number.

: Change of plans. I picked up Rocky from school. We are going back to CT. She will see you next week. Don't call or txt me.

I couldn't breathe. How could he?

I pulled back into traffic, heading for the highway with no particular destination in mind. I didn't want to go home. Or back to Tay because she was probably still in a funky mood. And I definitely didn't want to go to Sparkle, she would only say 'I told you so.' Which she did. She warned me that I would only get hurt messing around with Rick but I didn't listen. Nope. I had to be swayed by green eyes and a beard. What was wrong with me?

Quickly patting tears with my fingertips, I peeked into the rearview mirror at Rocky. Distress was all over her face from having told me her 'secret.' That wasn't anything she should have had to hold in. It wasn't fair for my baby to have to carry the burden of her father's sins.

How could he?

Months and months of I love you and I want to be with you. How could that be true? I didn't understand him. I didn't understand the purpose of stringing me along when he had someone to 'be nasty' with.

I continued to drive with blurry eyes and an even blurrier brain.

I felt so damn conflicted. Half my heart wanted to hurt him and the other half was still madly in love with the trifling man. Loving him certainly didn't overshadow the pain. My feelings pushed me into déjà vu. I went through this before. Being crazy in love but coming second best to the same horrible woman. Reality messed with my head because it didn't make sense. He didn't make sense. And I couldn't come up with an acceptable solution that eased the pain in my chest.

The scariest thing was the overwhelming need to forget Rocky even told me. I wanted to erase today. Not feel today. It would be too easy to detour. But I had been so good for years.

When I stopped in my parent's driveway three hours later, I was almost numb. Almost. I got out of my car, going to the back for Rocky. Her soft snores providing a calming effect to get me through the ride.

Gently, I unclasped her from her booster seat, taking her into my arms. Shutting the car door with my hip, I took a deep breath before walking the few steps to the front door.

I rang the bell and waited.

I needed my mommy in the worst way. Only she would be able to talk me through this. My mom would have some magic explanation that would make everything all right again. She would make what he did okay. She would explain the ways of men and tell me how to be a wife and ignore this...how to survive this.