The Queen Of Fuck Ups {m.c.}

Ashes to Ashes

I'm going to die. Fuck this shit I'm really going to die now. Shouldn't that be a scary as fuck thing? Then why am I so calm? I can't move. Shit this isn't good. I should really start to move. It's nothing. I probably just mixed the wrong drink with the wrong pill. I can't even fucking remember that shit. I've only tried forgetting a few times but why did it happen today. Okay let's start out a bit simple. Where the fuck am I? No idea. Great, next question that I can't answer. Why the hell does my... everything hurt? Obviously, that's a part of the 'don't remember anything' theme. This is utter bullshit. I just need to move a bit to shake this off.

I slowly open my eyes to a somewhat dark room. Which I've been in before. This is the room where I woke up some months ago. The only difference from back then is that now the owner of the room is in here.

"Luke..?" A fragile voice is heard in the room, making me wonder who the hell sounds so desperate. So when I see Luke stirring in his chair, slowly sitting the sleeping Tempest in the chair as he stands up, makes me surprised because it was my voice. I sound so fucking desperate.

"Can you move?" Luke sits down on the bed gripping on to my hand, starting to slap it carefully, wanting to get my blood circulation started again for real.

"No" Alice you are weak. Can't even speak for real after a regular overdose of something.

"He messed you up badly." I accidently move my little finger a bit, making Luke smile and start to rub my arms. He? Who the fuck is... no. It can't be his fault I can't move. No fucking way.

"What did he do?" I can slowly start to feel my blood rushing through my body again, as Luke continues to get me to move again, completely ignoring my question. I get enough feeling in my body so that I'm able to push myself up against the wall.

"Actually it's more what you did. It was over time but you're kinda being hit in the face by it now. I'm guessing that you don't remember because Mike is damn good at this game. He invented it before you even became known for your games. Because trust me, before we met you we all had heard the stories of you. Terrible things, but we never expected that we would ever be able to care for a person as crazy as you. Maybe we accepted you because you were so much like Michael. We thought that you might would've been able to kill that thing forever." Luke sits down on the bed next to me and he looks at me in a weird way. His eyes showing literally all kinds of emotions.

"When he was about 15 there was something about him. We hadn't made the band back then but Michael and Cal played with the thought. Michael was never really your ordinary neighbourhood boy. He was never the kid who wanted to attend the birthdays and he seemed like he hated absolutely everyone. So when he changed at the age of almost 16 we weren't really surprised. He stopped caring about anything other than the band, getting drunk and doing drugs. He was cold as hell and mostly just partied and always come home drunk to my house in the morning. It wasn't until he was eighteen and he accidently did something so fucking horrible that he wanted to change. Michaels emotions control him so when he got angry he went crazy. He got pissed at this guy and beat him up. Five minutes after the guy had breathed out because of the internal bleedings, Michael was still hitting him. He tried to overdose himself on some drug, but he messed up and we turned his life upside down so he was what we call good Michael." Luke fumbles with his fingers, looking down into the sheets. The whole story just makes me want to laugh. So he beat up a guy and he died, but what I've done is five times worse than that so this little sob story is just kinda hilarious.

"Yeah well it's a cute story but I don't see what that has to do with me." I glare at the sleeping girl in the chair, clutching on to the shirt she is wearing, it is way to big to her slender body so it's obvious that it's Lukes. Also because of the warm smile he sends Tempest that signals some sort of emotion I really cannot figure out. Not because I'm a cold bitch but just because I'm really fucked up right now.