I Will Find You

Chapter 9: Blackouts

Emma's POV

"Killian?! Oh my god... oh my god..." I muttered to myself, unable to comprehend what was going on.

He was sitting up against the wall of the cell, unconscious. His head lulled against his shoulder and the rest of his body was limp.

I was standing up on the other side of the room, no idea what had just happened. The last thing I could remember was his warm body up against mine, and we were kissing... how had we ended up here? Who did this to Killian?

I felt a grasp on my shoulder, and looked back to see both of my parents holding me by the arms, holding me back from doing something. But I couldn't remember what. Not caring what was going on, I shook out of their grasp, racing forward.

Grabbing Killian's shoulders, I shook him, gently at first, and then harder.

"Hook!? Killian? Please..." My body felt numb, my heart beating fast. I pressed my ear up against his chest, checking for a heartbeat. For a few moments I heard nothing, then my breath slowed when I could make out a faint heartbeat. I took a deep breath, moving away from him and sitting up against the wall, taking a deep breath and trying to calm my shaking body. I ran my hands through my hair, beads of sweat beginning to form on my hairline. I looked up at my parents. They were both staring down at me in shock.

"What...what happened?" I stuttered.

"You... you don't remember?" Charming said. A million emotions seemed to be flashing across his face at once- worry, fear, love, confusion.

"No.. the last thing I can remember... It was just us... sitting on the bed." I bit my lip, not sure he would appreciate a description of what actually happened. His sweet words... our kiss. I still couldn't figure out if my dad approved of my relationship with Hook. He seemed to be warming up to him, but it was impossible to tell if he liked us together.

My mom looked just as worried as he was, "Emma... it was you." Her voice cracked at the last word.

"What?!" I sat there, shocked, not sure if I had heard her right. My entire body felt numb, my heart was beating fast.

"Emma... you were yelling at him. All these things... we could barely understand you but you seemed very angry. He had fallen over, but then stood up again. We were all trying to hold you back, not sure what was going on, but we couldn't. You wouldn't listen to us. And then... you blasted him. With your magic."

"What?! " My mind was racing fast, trying to understand what they were saying. But then I realized... this had happened before.

A few days ago, when I was in the village trying to see if anyone had any information about Merlin, I had blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the pathway, 3 villagers lying dead around me. The building closest to me was burning, and I had run away, not sure what had happened. A few days later, Arthur's guard had surrounded me, blaming me for what happened in the village. I refused to believe them, but after Arthur had offered to make a deal with me in exchange for the safety of his citizens, I had agreed. I hadn't believed I had done anything wrong, but in exchange for his help finding my family and finding Merlin, I had claimed guilty to doing the things he had accused me of and agreed to the deal.

But now, I wasn't so sure I was innocent. What if it had been me? What if I was the one who had killed all those people?

I didn't know how it was possible, but something must have happened to me during those blackouts. Making me do horrible things.

Making me hurt Killian.

I sunk lower into the wall, not able to hold back the tears anymore. I had held it in for so long. All these weeks wandering alone in Camelot, I had managed to stay strong. But now I was crumbling. I was breaking.

It was all too hard. My body shook with the sobs. My parents ran over, hugging me, comforting me, but it didn't make a difference.

It was all too much. The darkness was too much.

I sniffled back my cries as I straightened my body, trying to look strong. Trying to believe I was strong.

My mom sat next to me, stroking my hair with one hand, and the other hand grasping my hand.

"Hey," She whispered, "Emma. We're here now. You're going to be okay. We're going to find Merlin. Have hope."

Hope. How many times had I heard that word? Too many. It had nearly lost its meaning.

I shut my eyes, trying to lift my spirits. But whenever I closed my eyes there was only darkness. More and more darkness.

"Emma!" Snow whispered, shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes. Killian was breathing again, and he slowly opened his eyes, looking around.

"Emma? Wh- whats going on...?" He muttered, straightening against the wall and rubbing his head.

I rushed over to him sitting perpendicular to him, my legs over his. I rested my hand on his shoulder.

"Killian, something happened. I'm not sure what, we need to figure things out..." My voice drifted off as I stared into his eyes. His previous confused look was replaced with a look of fear. He was remembering what had just happened, I realized. He scooted back farther into the wall, as if to try to get away from me. I couldn't help but cringe.

"Emma..." His voice shook, "You... you hit me. With your magic." His eyes were full of fear and a bit teary.

"Killian, I swear it wasn't me. I don't know what happened, something came over me." I lowered my head, mortified. It wasn't me, I knew that. But it was me at the same time. I had done it, and no matter what force had driven me to do it, it was still me.

I took a deep, shaky breath as he rested his hand on my cheek. I looked up into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Swan." He paused, looking into my eyes. No matter the situation, that look always made me melt. I smiled. A little. "I know you'd never do something like that. At least, you wouldn't. And once we get this dark magic out of you, you won't be afraid of some dark force making you do it ever again." I couldn't help but giggle. He always managed to make little jokes despite the situation. And then he kissed me.

I leaned into him, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I released all the fears from me in an exhale.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long guys! Happy once day! :P High school has been crazy and I haven't had much time to sit down and write. Tell me what you think!