Poison and Wine

Fourteenth

there will be a flashback in this and it'll be in italics!!!

"Oh I don't love you"

Mitch cried when he woke up. He couldn't help it. Everything just came crashing down on him all at once, and his already weakened mind could not handle one more set back.

When his aching head practically screamed 'no more!' the tears began to stop. But then it was too quiet and he was too alone. He tried not to think of what had happened. But how could he not? He'd been weak again. Everyone says that it's not your fault if you fall victim to problems such as these. But how can you not feel so weak? How can you lay on your shower floor, naked in more ways than one, so helpless and seeking normality, and still feel strong? How?

He made himself believe that he was somewhat strong. He'd come out of this before and he could do it again. That thought that was purely based on lies he'd created for himself helped him to finally gather enough strength to leave his bed; but he regretted it as soon as he did.

He didn't even make it four steps before he stumbled from dizziness, falling and hitting his dresser in the progress.

It didn't really hurt. Not the initial banging of his side as much as the knowing he was too weak to even get up.

When did he become so weak?

He tried not to cry again and walked to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and throwing on a snapback.

It was then that he noticed he was wearing boxers. He had been...and Scott...and now...so that meant.

He was so weak that he couldn't even dress himself.

A few stray tears fell but he willed them away. This wasn't happening. There was no possible way he could become weaker than he already was.

He slipped on sweatpants and walked out of his room, stopping in his tracks when he saw Scott laying on the couch, smiling at something a person had said on tv.

It took Scott a few moments before he noticed Mitch's presence, but he sat up and smiled wide when he did.

"Hey! How are you feeling?" He was too happy too soon and he seemed to've realized it immediately after he spoke. His eyes held so much sadness and Mitch felt like hugging the tall man and never letting go. Nothing else seemed to matter in the moment. Because Scott was here, and looking so beautiful, with his disheveled hair and his sad, worried eyes that still hadn't erased his past tears. God he had been crying. He'd made him cry. "Come here," Scott whispered.

Mitch forced himself to move even though his body felt like it was weighed down by bricks and the room was slightly spinning.

"You were crying," Scott said, and it was not a question, not even up for discussion, Mitch not given a chance to make it seem much better than it actually was. Mitch wanted to say "so were you" but he couldn't and he wouldn't.

Blue eyes roamed over Mitch's shirtless torso and the brunette began to become self conscious before his attention was adverted.

"What's this?" Scott asked, his hands softly brushing a small bruise forming on Mitch's soft skin.

"I fell...just a few minutes ago. I didn't think it'd form a bruise so soon. Sorry."

"Sorry?" Scott asked, and he wasn't attacking Mitch for saying it, although the pained expression on his face sure felt like it was an attack, shooting straight through Mitch's heart. Because it was his fault and no one else's that he was weak, yet other people kept getting hurt. "God, this isn't fair," Scott whispered. And then Mitch was being brought into the blonde's arms, his face buried into the crook of his best friend's neck where he was suddenly overwhelmed by a familiar smell, and their arms wrapped around each other. They fit so perfectly and it made everything okay for their few minutes of peace. "I'm really sorry," Scott said once he finally made himself pull away from the embrace. "I wish I had been here sooner or could've done more."