Chapter XV: Tired

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The tears were silent, trickling down Arabella's cheeks slowly. There was no sobbing, no heaving in pain--only mute crying. At least, no one was around to see it.

Laurance had left her alone only ten or so minutes ago, but it felt like an eternity--an eternity of isolation and regret.

Like she said, it was always her fault. It was her fault that she tried to save Laurance from Garroth in Irene's Dimension, which led to her becoming a Shadow Knight. It was her fault that she tried to save everyone by summoning Shadow Souls to cause a distraction, but instead made Laurance go ballistic. It was her fault that she was upset and bitter about everything, not just after her transformation into a Shadow Knight, but years before that, as well. It was her fault that she made the mistake of not killing Laurance when she had the chance.

In the end, Arabella was the only one getting hurt. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. All of her actions came back to her like a boomerang and hit her hard. Arabella was the only reason why she was never happy. It was her fault. It had always been her fault.

Always her fault.

Arabella would've been moping around for a longer time and torturing herself with stupid ifs, if she hadn't heard shrill shrieks coming from the distance.

Quickly wiping her face and hoping her eyes weren't too puffy, Arabella picked up her battle-axe and ran to the gate of Scaleswind to see what had happened.

Apparently, that was her fault, too.

Swarms of Shadow Souls crowded around the gate as if it was a pile of a billion dollars that someone dropped. Their soulless, yellow eyes seemed to be piercing through the gates. They must've been attracted by the emotional energy released both by her and Laurance. However, that wasn't the horrifying part.

Laurance was in his Shadow Knight form, but he lay stock-still on the ground, with his sword knocked out of his grip. Aaron stood beside him, with his broadsword unsheathed, next to a petrified Aphmau.

The two of them seemed to be worriedly conversing about something, until there was a flash of light, and Laurance returned to his regular self. However, he was still knocked out, and he looked like he was wounded--badly.

Arabella stormed towards them. "What the hell happened?"

"Now isn't the time," said Aaron. "Quickly--let's get him back to a place where he can recover. I'll carry him. Lead the way, Aphmau."

"Alright," replied Aphmau shakily, before muttering to herself, "Oh, Irene."

The two of them dragged Laurance away, leaving Arabella right in front of the gates, utterly confused. She didn't know what had happened, but one thing she did know was that part of it was her fault, which wasn't a surprise. However, part of the blame also landed on these Shadow Souls.

Arabella drew her battle-axe, and marched past the Scaleswind guards who were putting in effort to take them down. Arabella was going to help them.

With a slash, one of the demons exploded into ashes, along with the guilt she'd been carrying. As another was vanquished at her hands, so did her pain. With every blow she put, the pent-up anger bottled up inside Arabella was getting satisfied. Finally, she was using her anger to do something good, for once.

The times where a Shadow Soul tried to possess her human body, Arabella would take it down in an instant. When they tried to harm the villages, they'd vanish the second the Shadow weapon grazed them. Although majority of them were taken down by the guards, Arabella demolished a handful of them. By the end of it, Arabella was panting heavily.

Nicole rushed to the gates to take some damage control, before seeing that all of the monsters were gone, now. "Arabella! Are you alright?"

"I guess?" she answered. Truth be told, she didn't know what she was feeling right now.

"Well, thanks for helping getting rid of those bastards." The lord let out a grin. "I'll be checking up on things around my village. You should go see Laurance."

Arabella had completely forgotten about Laurance's condition while she was battling the Shadow Souls. She gave Nicole a curt nod and ran to the guesthouses to see him.

As she ran through the corridors to head to Aphmau's room, where Laurance apparently was, she stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard them talk about something. Deciding just to listen in and enter later, she stood past the door and eavesdropped on every word.

"...fuelled my own corruption," Laurance was saying.

"What is corruption?" asked Aphmau.

"It's when a transformed Shadow Knight can no longer control their own thought process, and becomes a brain-dead, empty shell, bent on the destruction of all things," explained Laurance. "It can happen in many different ways; mostly due to anger, sadness, grief, or being tainted by the thoughts of others--as you just saw happen to me."

"Laurance, if you can't control yourself, then I don't want you to transform into a Shadow Knight--not until you learn how to stop yourself from becoming corrupted. The truth is that if Aaron wasn't there, then I probably would've allowed you to kill me. Then what? You'd've gone to hurt everyone else and it--it just--ugh, I don't even know anymore."

"There's something else I need to talk to you about. I--It's Arabella."

"What is it?"

Uh-oh. Arabella silently prayed that he'd say something like, "Actually, nevermind." Unfortunately, Laurance continued speaking.

"I think I know why there were so many Shadow Souls around Scaleswind today," he explained. "Earlier today, she and I were hanging out and catching up. After all, she did sort of die and come back with no explanation. Heh. So, um, I asked her what had happened, so we went out into the large fields alone to talk, and..." Laurance sighed. "She's a Shadow Knight."

Damn it, Laurance.

"Oh," said Aphmau. She didn't know what to say.

Laurance took a breath before continuing. "Words got bad between us--really bad. That probably attracted all those Shadow Souls here. But... Arabella told me that she would've killed us if she had the heart to do so, and she told me to leave her alone. I'm pretty sure she hates me, right now."

Laurance, you idiot, Arabella mentally face-palmed, when someone says they love you, they do the opposite of hating you.

"She doesn't hate you, Laurance," said Aphmau at last. Finally. At least she knew what was up.

"How would you know?" asked Laurance half-heartedly.

"Because you're a good person," she replied, "and you'd never willingly hurt anyone you care about. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Arabella's tense shoulders loosened up. Aphmau was right, though. The only person she could hate at the moment was herself, not Laurance. No matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't work. Arabella would constantly fall in love with him over and over again.

There was a long pause, before Laurance quietly said, "Aphmau, come here."

"Wha--" Aphmau was cut off by something, but Arabella could distinctly hear them break apart from a kiss.

You've done enough damage today, she told herself. There's no need to barge in and ruin their moment again because you're a bitter idiot. If you can't be happy, at least let them be.

Arabella walked downstairs again, and she seated herself across Katelyn, who seemed to be intently reading a book that she hadn't even turned a page of. Aaron was leaning against a wall, uninterested. Arabella put her head down on the table.

"What's up?" asked Katelyn.

"I'm just tired," muttered Arabella. That wasn't a lie. No one knew what she was tired of.

~•~

A/N: Welp, this was a pretty simple chapter, as well as the shortest author's note ever.

--(Gr)ace


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