Concerning the Hobbits

Introducing... The Dwarves!

  P.O.V Firiel

Gandalf and I had explored the shire for the rest of the day; he'd shown the children some magic and had introduced me to the nice people of the shire. Sure they weren't like my tribe but they were a community of good people. When night fell Gandalf and I walked back up to Bag-end, Mr Baggins home. "Are you sure we should be coming back here? He didn't seem very interested this morning..." Gandalf chuckled.
"He wasn't. But he will be, come along child, the others will be starting to get there." We walked up to Bag-end, nine dwarves were already at the front door, we stood behind them. I heard Mr Baggins voice from inside, he sounded frustrated.
When Mr Baggins finally opened the door, the dwarves all fell on each other. It was really quite amusing. They were all yelling at each other to get off that I doubt anyone heard me laughing.

"Gandalf." Mr Baggins stated. Despite our differences, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor man. He had no idea what was going on. I hardly knew what was going on but atleast I had signed on for this...kind of....
"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." Bilbo tried to get the dwarves attention, but they just ignored him. A rather large, read headed dwarf came out of the pantry carrying three wheels of cheese. I rather liked his beard braids.

"Who's that father?" I whispered to Gandalf.
"That is Bombur, child." Gandalf chuckled at the dwarf.
Bilbo sighed, "Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?" I giggled.
"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." A dwarf smiled, he had a silly hair style, "I'm Bofur." He extended his hand toward me.
I accepted, shaking his hand, "Firiel Grey, at your service."

I was distracted by two dwarves who were carrying chairs from one of Mr Baggins's other rooms. "No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry you'll have to take that back...it's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That's a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you." Mr Baggins tried to get the dwarves attention, but they just ignored him.
"I cannot hear what you're saying!" Oin said.... Well..... I think his name was Oin, that's what Gandalf said.
Another grey haired dwarf walked up to Gandalf, he had a rather large nose. He was holding a tray with some tea on it, "Excuse me, Mr Gandalf, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?"

"Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think." Dori nodded, he looked at me expectantly.
"Yes please, Mr Dori, thank you, tea would be lovely." Dori smiled at me and nodded, passing me a cup of tea, and hurrying off to get Gandalf's red wine. Gandalf walked out of the room trying unsuccessfully to avoid the dwarfs scurrying around the home. Gandalf hit his head against a chandelier; it looked like it had hurt.

"Fili, Kili," Gandalf counted the two dwarves to his left, they were rather attractive...especially the dark haired one, the dark haired one... noticed I was watching and winked at me, causing me to blush. I looked away and watched Gandalf count the rest of the dwarves off, "..Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori"
Gandalf started talking to Bifur.... I think... in Khuzdul, the language of the dwarves. I noticed Bilbo beside me. "Hello... Miss...?" Mr Baggins smiled beside me.
"Miss Grey, Miss Firiel Grey, at your service, Mr Baggins." I curtsied.
"Miss Grey... If you don't mind me asking..." He paused, smiling at me sheepishly, "Are you a lady dwarf?" I burst into laughter, making everyone around us stare at me, Mr Baggins looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, Mr Baggins... I was not laughing at you... It's just your question; no-one has ever asked me that before." Mr Baggins seemed relieved, his expression changed however, to one of curiosity.

"Then...Miss Grey...what are you?" We stood there awkwardly for a moment.
I sighed, "...I am a hob--" I was interrupted by Dwalin.
"He is late, is all. He travelled north to a meeting with our kin. He will come." Dwalin stated. Mr Baggins and I exchanged curious glances, both of us unsure about whom they spoke of.
The night carried on in a blur, the dwarves all being quite rude towards Bilbo, not meaning to of course, it was just their way.
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked Bilbo. I was beginning to like the hobbit, despite his fanciness and strange behaviour.

"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves, what are they doing here?" Bilbo exclaimed, I could see that he was beginning to crack. I touched his shoulder, wanting to calm the poor fellow down. He smiled at me quickly but turned back to Gandalf.
"Oh they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them." At that particular moment in time, Nori and Bofur start playing tug-of-war with a chain of sausages. Way to help his case guys.
"I don't want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pi-pillaged the pantry," Poor Mr Baggins, they've got him stuttering, "I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

Ori, the cute, innocent looking dwarf, walked over to me, "Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" I smiled, about to take the plate from him, the blond dwarf...Fili... I assume, took the plate from Ori.
"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." Fili then threw the plate to Bifur, his did this skilfully throwing it behind his back, he then winked at me noticing my dropped jaw, I quickly fix my expression before anyone else noticed. Bifur catched the plate without even looking at it and put it in the sink. The other dwarves started throwing their plates around. Gandalf ducked, narrowly missing a plate.
"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" The dwarves begin to beat their fists and utensils against the table, they were all in time with each other. Bilbo seemed to be intimidated.
"And can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!" He was actually quite brave considering how many dwarves there were. Perhaps Gandalf was right about Hobbits after all.

"Ooh did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives." Bifur...wait no...Bofur, that's right, Bofur said, the others laughed along with him. All of a sudden, Kili, the younger brother of Fili, started singing, and oh, boy did he have a lovely voice. The other dwarves join him. Throwing the plates about everywhere.

Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -

Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you've finished, if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Mr Baggins looked as if he is going to explode with anger, but he noticed that all of his plates were stacked up and cleaned quite nicely, the dwarves, Gandalf and I started bursting into laughter, everyone fell silent however when we heard three very loud knocks at the door. Gandalf stood up, "He is here."
Gandalf and Bilbo walked over to the door and in walked the legendary king under the mountain, Thorin Oakenshield, the one I had only heard about in stories.