Trust one more time

Breaking walls

I lost my voice somewhere in my throat, I couldn't believe my ears, I never thought that all this will back fire at me. I came here for one purpose, revenge, but what can I do after hearing those words.

He even didn't realize that a tear escaped his beautiful dark eyes, where I got lost many many times. But this time I'm stronger, I won't fall again in this trap. He was a mistake, a beautiful mistake. But I have a plan and I will stick to it.

"Daniel, it's to late". I said breathless, I didn't lie it really was to late, I made my mind that there will never be "us" again, even if it will broke my heart or the rest of it.

"Rosie please don't do that, please give me one chance, don't give up on me, please". I stepped away, to create some distance between us, not trusting myself near him "Daniel, it's over." I said it looking in his eyes, surprisingly it come out stronger than I wanted it.

For seconds I thought that I will throw myself in his arms and hide myself in his chest. The look of disbelieve and hurt and betrayal flashed in his eyes. "No, it's not over, not to me, not until I'm breathing, you will forgive me."

Now I was angry, why couldn't he accept it, why he has to feel betrayed, if anyone should feel that it's me but what he told me after shattered every wall I built around my heart.

"You don't understand I can't live without you, I was blind, I loved you so much that it hurts, and I couldn't believe that you were mine, that's why I believed those photos, but Rose you ruined me for anyone else, the day you walked away from my office. I got so drunk that I couldn't even blink.

I tried to kill myself, Rose I got in a car accident for four months I was in the hospital, I didn't want to live, I refused the treatment, but doctors forced it on me, after that I started to drink and got out of control, I always drove so fast that sometimes I thought that I will fly, after that I was in a depression, I buried myself in work to forget myself, and after some time I wanted revenge.

I knew that somehow you will hear about me, so I decided to be a jerk, and started fooling around but it never went beyond a kiss, all the times I imagined that they was your lips and after opening my eyes I felt disgusted with myself.

The roomers spread faster then cold, that I was a playboy, that I slept around with lots of women, it's all a big lie I never tried to deny, I wanted to hurt you to make you feel my pain to take it, but it just got worst with years, Rose please I love you, I can't let you go, not again."

I was stunned I didn't know that he suffered this much, I wanted to hug him and arise all the bad memories, but I couldn't bear anymore pain so as my walls broke down I did the only thing came to me, I run.

I run away from him as if my life depended on it. I could hear him calling me but I just covered my ears to block his voice because my heart wanted to go back to him.

I didn't see where I was going so I run into something hard, or should I say someone.

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