Castaway ➳ cth [EDITING/HIATUS]

1, summer rain

As soon as the bell rung, indicating that school had ended, I stood up without saying good-bye to anybody.

I never felt the appeal to fit into society. People used to stare at me like I was an alien. Well, they still do.

I wouldn't ever describe myself as the kid who had lived a great childhood. I mean, before my sister Nele was born, my parents loved each other dearly.

However, since the arguments at home started to grow louder, I never felt so disconnected from my parents. It's like deleting or blocking a contact on your phone. I'm scared to face both of them, especially my dad. 

The ridiculous thought of my parents kicking me out of the house creeps into my mind every time I walked along the grey sidewalk in front of our school, straight into the neighborhood where I lived.

And the name that belongs to this person's life is Juniper. Or simply June, since my birth-month made the thought of adapting a cocky nickname pretty satirical.

I couldn't believe I'm telling this story right now. Should I feel embarrassed? You won't probably believe me either. Or, am I wrong?

I looked up, the misty air brushing my rosy cheeks, warm from the summer weather. I loved summer. The only thing that could calm me down are leaves in all colors and varieties. 

The sun was hidden behind the thick, light grey curtain of clouds, levitating above my head. I took a deep breath and smelled the scent of ozone. I knew it's going to rain and I already saw a lightning bolt in the horizon. All of the sudden I heard the deep sound of thunder rolls. The sound still buzzed in my ear, as soon as I arrived at home.

The keys were stuck in my back pocket of my black skinny jeans, of course. I'm a mess. I can't even handle my own stuff and sometimes, I would lose something and earn a lot of spiteful rants coming from my mother.

"I can't believe you lost your phone again", she shouted at me last year when someone stole my phone in the changing room after P.E. classes. I remembered her slapping her right thigh angrily and when she does that, I know things are about to get real. 

The thought of her outbursts caused me to clutch onto my phone with a tighter grip.

"Mum? Dad?" I asked quietly in the silent house, and as usual, both were working in town. I can imagine people in my class coming home and expecting their mothers with a huge bowl of food in both hands, chirping: "How was your school day, honey?" with that awful, high-pitched voice. 

But of course my parents wouldn't ever act like that. Not even in my dreams.

I decided to throw my bag into the corner of my room. Although my stomach was rumbling, I wasn't down to eat. I felt very empty inside when I glanced outside the window with thousands of little raindrops running down the glass. Then someone came into my mind.

My sister.

"Nele?" I yelled out of my room. I waited for an answer and decided to go to her room and check if she was there. She wasn't, though. I assumed she is still at school doing work.

I sighed and sat down on her bed, ruffling the surface of her purple bedsheets. I love my sister so much. But since my parents are fighting, I feel bad for her.

She shouldn't grow up in a family were arguing is number one priority. I'm afraid my parents will break up. If you think it would hurt me, you have guessed just right.

I'm anxious to see my sister overwhelmed and unknowing about where she's going to spend her time. To be honest, I was worried to. But I care more about my sister than me. She's barely eight years old and it's unfair for her.