Itanife: The Book Of Ifa (Orisha Chronicles) #NaNo2015Winner

- Part 15

It's not what you call me

But what I answer to.

African proverb.

After we have been walking in the forrest for what feels like an incredibly long time, I decide Sheni needs to tell us his story to distract us from the weirdness which is the monster forrest. This is what I have named it and I think it fits to a tee.

    The forrest appears dead. Sickly looking trees dot the sides of the pathway, blocking out what lies beyond. But not sick in the way that they have been damaged. Sick in an evil way that I can not explain. Knowing we are in a strange place it is not far fetched to imagine what horrors lurk deep within the forrest. I am not sure if we should be speaking in here. In fact no one has. Not even the Elokos who seem a chatty bunch. But I do know that the abrupt silence after the incessant voices we met when we walked in here is driving me crazy. I think if I am alone with my thoughts any longer, I will not come out of here sane.

    "So Sheni talk. Tell us what is happening and do not even think about lying". I say in a voice which would sound commanding if it weren't for the tremor I can't hide.

    Sheni cuts a look at me. I think he is going to try to avoid the subject again but he surprises me instead. I think he understands my need to hear something other than the eerie silence we have had since walking in here.

    "I think before I tell you why you are here, it would be better to tell you the story from the very beginning". He replies without looking at us as he continues walking. I see Abi and Kemi perk up. They also seem eager to hear what he has to say. Kemi takes his hand as if offering him moral support. He gives her a quick smile and looks away.

    "First tell us where we are and what you are. That much I want to know now". I say. I need something to hold on to before he starts giving us a history lesson.

    "What do you mean what he is?" Kemi cries out.

    "Exactly what she said" Abi tells her. "Come on Einstein I'm sure even you have realised they". She nods towards the Elokos in front of us. "Aren't human. Stands to reason your boyfriend who's pals with them isn't as well". Kemi looks speechless which is a first for her. She's looking back and forth between Sheni and Abi as if willing Sheni to deny what Abi has said. I notice she still hasn't let go of his hand.

    "You're right you deserve to know that at least". He is silent. If I didn't know any better I would think he was gathering up his courage. It makes me scared about what he is about to tell us about himself. A part of me almost wishes I hadn't asked him.

    "You both guessed right. I am not human." Sheni says so quietly I have to strain to hear him. Kemi gasps. Abi just looks straight ahead without any change of expression. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding when he says those words. I think despite everything that has happened and everything I have suspected about him, it is still a shock to hear the actual words. I am not human. It runs on repeat in my head. I do not know how I feel about this. I wish I did not know this. Kemi still holds Sheni's hand. I feel a strange nudge of respect towards her. I don't know if I would still be holding his hand in her place. My face heats up with shame. 

    "What are you?". I manage to choke out. I feel I need to say something, anything, even if it is just a question.

    "I am Abiku."

    "What?". This time it is Abi who cries out. "How is that possible? They are children".

    "Sheni..". Kemi starts to say, trying to get him to look her. But he stares straight ahead as he keeps on walking. Their hands are still intertwined. She either follows him or lets go. She follows him.

    "Abikus exist? They are real? How is that possible and aren't they some kind of evil children?". I ask each question without waiting for an answer. I don't know if I really want to know. But I feel it is expected of me. He would expect me to ask.

    Sheni visibly winces at my evil children remark but quickly hides it. I want to be sorry but I am too flustered to care. I remember the stories told to me by our maids about Abikus. Children who come into a family to terrorise and cause heartache. I feel my chest spasm in pain learning Sheni is one of them. Creatures who we've been taught since childhood to be aware of and keep away from. Creatures we've learnt to be frightened of...my mum's dead babies.......

    "Yes they....we are real. No we are not evil. We come into the world as children, and we leave as children that's also true but-"

    "But you're not a child. You're a...." Kemi stammers. Her mouth opening and closing without further words. If this weren't so serious, I would be definately be laughing at her antics.

    "I think what Kemi so eloquently is trying to say is that you seem too old to be an Abiku. Don't they.....you guys normally die very young don't you? like ten or eleven?" Abi interjects.

    "Twelve is the cut off age. But one can also leave earlier if one wants." He tells us. All calmly as if discussing the weather. As if he isn't telling us he is part of a race that cause pain and anguish to every family they become a part of.

    "So why are you still alive? Why aren't you dead?" I ask and immediately realise that my question could be perceived in a negative way. Like I would want him to be dead. I see the pain that flashes across his face. Again I do not let myself think about his feelings. I am too overwhelmed.

    For the first time since he started talking, he turns to me and looks me straight in the eye. "I'm still alive because of you. I haven't died because I am.... your soul companion". He tells me gently.

    His words hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball. I try to push back...I don't know how or why...but I can't. It feels like a giant crater has been smashed open and a flood is about to overwhelm me. His eyes watch me intently, they pierce inside of mine, seeking, showing.....  images rush at me so fast I cannot keep hold of them. It's almost like trying to keep hold of water in my hands and watching it drain away between my fingers.

    There is Sheni as a boy of six in rags running through a crowded market and looking back and smiling, waving, beckoning. Looking down I see my hands, brown, small and filthy, I look up and he is calling to me "Dayo". My name is Dayo.

     Then another image I am laughing and spinning, fast, round and round with him. My deep purple coloured dress spreads out and flies with the strong evening breeze. He looks about eight. He is clean and wears a white gleaming kaftan. Here he calls me "Titi".

    Another image we are locked in an embrace. We are both scared. He is a boy of ten here. I don't know how I know. I just do. There is a man. An angry man and he is screaming, kicking and hitting the woman whimpering at his feet. I know they are our parents. I am frightened. But Sheni holds me tight. He says my name "Yinka" as he strokes me. He tells me everything will be okay and I believe him.

    It is a constant movie reel in my head. Faces flashing by and names being called out, Deola, Bola, Temi, Adesuwa, Moji, Bunmi and more...many many more...and in all of them, Sheni is there, looking at me, talking to me, laughing with me, taking care of me. Always taking care of me.

    He is all I see. He has been with me all the time. Then finally the images slow down and then, then.......................

     Another image, I am lying on a bed. In a hospital and he is holding my hand. Tears run down his face and mix with the snot he hasn't bothered to wipe off. He looks so sad. Too sad for a little child. He can't be more than five. He is whispering words. I cannot understand. I strain to hear him from the loud ringing in my head.

I make out the words and they punch a hole in my already damaged heart.     "Yewande...I can't do this anymore. Please let me go". It is a litany. A prayer that he keeps repeating.

    It is the last thing I hear before I die again leaving him once more.

I cry out as my mind returns to the here and now. I feel myself falling and Sheni is immediately by my side holding me up. Abi and Kemi are watching us both with wide eyes. This time both are speechless.

I look at him and see the truth in his eyes and all I can ask is "What am I?".