I Will Keep You Safe Tonight - Frerard / Fun Ghoul and Party Poison Fanfiction

Chapter 26: "I Just Wanted To Be A Hero"

It was almost like everything was standing still. I felt my legs give out from under me, no longer able to support the weight of my sorrow. Not with this new addition.

He was going to die here.

There was nothing I could do.

I heard Gerard's voice screaming from behind me, the fight was continuing, the battle hadn't stopped just for me. For him. I couldn't even cry in that moment, I couldn't manage a single tear. The panic and the realisation hadn't sunk in yet, I was already dreading the moment that came. Miles managed a small smile, weak around the edges and it wasn't meeting those eyes I had missed for so long. 

I opened my mouth but no words flooded out. All I could manage was a muffled choking noise. My throat was swelling and it was dry, my mouth felt like it was filled with sand. My brain refused to make coherent sentences as my own child, my own flesh and blood, died before me.

Reaching out, I pulled off his dirty shirt, not even taking the time to carefully take it off but instead I ripped the material, exposing the wound beneath. Miles sucked in a breath as he looked down at it, his pupils dilating to an unbelievable size. 

"Daddy?" 

The tears were starting now.

"Please don't Miles. Daddy..." I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat becoming evident. "Daddy's going to get you fixed up. We just need to get you out of here."

"Daddy, please. I don't think it'll work."

"Of course it will, don't be silly. You're going to be fine, we're going to-" 

"Dad."

I looked up at him as he pushed his frail, tiny hand into my open palm.

"Where's mom?" I asked, peering around to see our cabin as if I expected to find her there, surprisingly untouched in the massacre.

"She left with the families, she doesn't know I came back to help. Daddy, I'm not going to die, am I?"

His innocence was hurting me, it was burning away whatever was still holding me together. With my free hand, I clamped it over my mouth to stop me from screaming. I cried out loudly but the sound was muffled and weak. I leant forwards and wrapped both my arms around my little boy, my hysterical cries echoing into his chest. I couldn't believe I had let two people- two loved and cherished people die right in front of me. What kind of comrade was I? What kind of father had I been to Miles?

"Why did you come back? Mom told you to stay with the group." I managed to splutter, not caring if I was scaring him anymore. This was scary. 

He refused to look me in the eye, his lids closing heavily like he was falling asleep. His voice was hoarse and strained, judging by the wincing on his face, I knew I had a matter of minutes. "I came back because I wanted to be a hero, just like you. I wanted to protect you, like you did for Mom and me." He managed a glance in my direction. "I wanted to be a superhero." 

I'd never felt pain like I had in that moment. 

"You were a superhero." I managed, my cheeks damp and cold in the harsh wind. "You saved me." 

His eyes didn't close as he passed away, his body only going limp and the tears that had been rushing down his face suddenly ceasing. 

My son was gone, and now limp in the hands that cradled him during his last moments.

I couldn't find it in me to stand up and finish this fight, so instead I crouched down, my arms wrapped tightly around my dead son. 

"I love you." I whispered, my voice thick with the oncoming storm of anger I could feel rising within me. "I love you so goddamn much. I didn't get chance to tell you that enough."