In My Dreams

Fifteen

I remember this place. I’ve dreamed it before.

I remember skating through this pathway with my friend, the cotton candy resting in our hands. I remember the huge Ferris wheel and how I was in awe at its size. Most of all, I remember him. At the time, I knew next to nothing about him. While I was admiring the view from atop the ride, I saw him below, looking up at me with a satisfied smirk.

I thought he was adorable, he looked so friendly and I remember wanting to talk to him so badly. I never got the chance because before I knew it, I was in the middle of the Fairfield, everything dark, everything quiet, and he was gone.

I was so disappointed, but not surprised. Back then, that was routine for him. Show up, linger, disappear, and repeat.

For me, the routine was: hope, question, disappointment, and repeat.

I’ll tell you now; I don’t know how I stayed sane. I’m not a patient person, so I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did without popping a cap in Will’s you-know-what. I guess I managed to hold out because it was--and still is-- completely foreign to me. His completely tangible presence in a place that seems so incredibly intangible like my dreams seems science fiction. I was probably just trying to process it all, tried to make logical sense of it.

The truth is, none of it makes sense. It just isn’t logical!

“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard about something,” Will says, scrutinizing my face. “You always scrunch your face up when you’re really concentrating,” He mimics my facial expression and from his representation, it’s not an attractive look.

“Oh how lovely,” I sighed. “Apparently I look like a disgruntled squirrel.” He shrugs with a lazy grin and sits back and relaxes into the carriage that starts to slowly lift into the air. The Ferris wheel ride seems different this time around, maybe because now I was with him, with so called Mystery Boy. That named seemed so ridiculous now that we established him as Will. “Anyways, why judge from my facial expressions when you can read my mind?” I ask him light-heartedly, though the subject still makes me uncomfortable.

“I can’t read your mind,” he says casually, directing his attention to the view.

I purse me lips and think back. Did I hear him wrong? I couldn’t have. I remember that extremely awkward conversation we had in the canoe. His threats and my useless attempts at trying to appear brave .

“I lied,” he say now a little softer. “You know how I was, Jade…”

I felt relief rush through me. My mind was somewhat my own now. “Why? What did you think you’d gain from that?” The question sounds harsh, but my tone says otherwise. I’m just curious; I don’t want him to think I’m attacking him.

He sighs and runs a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Control, pretty much. I’m sure you remember that conversation we had just as clearly as I do.” He mumbles the last part, “I was trying to scare you.”

I nod in understanding. I not mad anymore. He was confused, I get that. So he abused the closest thing to him, which in that case was me.

I stay silent and look down at my twiddling thumbs. I almost roll my eyes at my predictable nervous tic. The tension’s palpable, but more words would just thicken it. That’s when I felt a presence sit next to me. Will had a kind smile and he drapes an arm over my shoulder, urging me to look up. “Check this out.”

My eyes linger on his arm. It’s silly to blush over; it’s a friendly gesture, not a flirtatious one. I then direct my gaze up to the sky and see countless glows fall across the sky. I gasp in amazement. I’ve never seen something so mesmerizing. They seem to come nonstop, hundreds of them falling until they burned out. I never thought I’s see something so rare, and yet, here I was. Me, Will, and this beautiful light show above us, it’s a moment that’ll stay with me forever.