song(s) for this chapter; a.m. - 1d, look after you - the fray.
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Louis started to doze off on the couch as Harry was in the room, Louis didn't deserve the bed, nor the room. In fact, not even stepping a foot in this apartment.
" Lou?" Harry mumbled out, rubbing his eye as he poked his bottom lip. "What're you doing up? It's three in the morning babe." Louis bit his lip and looked away.
"Sorry.. couldn't sleep." Louis said and Harry sat down next to him, looking at his face closely, Louis looked exhausted, his eyes were red and droopy. He looked more sick than tired truth be told.
"Louis, look..I told you I'm upset because of what you have done, I don't hate you nor will I ever, you can still sleep with me," Harry lifted Louis head up with a small smile, "Look at me," Harry rubbed his thumb onto Louis' cheek softly and slowly, "Talk to me."
"I just don't wanna hurt you again, Harry. I love you so much. I'm trying to change for the both of us, b-but..life isn't letting me." Louis told his fiance, Harry sighed softly and rubbed Louis' thigh.
"It was a mistake, I slept on it and I realize I can't hold this against you, you were blacked out and you can't even remember what happened. I still am upset that you killed the baby."
Louis looked down at Harry's hand that rested on his thigh, then looking up at him, "Wanna drink it off?"
Harry smirked at Louis and Louis smirked back, biting his lip as Harry squeezed his thigh
The next thing they knew, they were clinking wine glasses and drinking out of them with small smiles.
"You know what I just thought of?" Harry mumbled, arms around Louis' waist, lips dragging along his forehead.
" What?" Louis chuckled, taking another sip of the red wine.
"I remember when you were just moving in with me and you got mad because I didn't buy you any crisps." Harry said, nostalgia hitting him right across the face, remembering almost everything vividly.
" Oh you still remember that?" Louis giggled softly.
" How could I not, you ignored me for the rest of the day." Harry said, "You wouldn't even eat the damn burger I made for you." Harry reminded him, pouring another round of wine into the glass, drinking out of it.
"I was pregnant!" Louis gasped, "Don't hold a grudge on me." Harry chuckled softly and kissed Louis' forehead. Louis was in a daze, a tiny fuzzy feeling entered his mind, Harry's soft lips and the wine definitely was a good combination.
"I remember when you used to seduce me in public too, we were out in broad daylight, you used to just whisper some shit in my ear and touch me until I got sick of you." Harry reminded Louis and Louis raised his eyebrows.
"You punished me sometimes.. in public," Louis bit his lip softly and his his face on Harry's chest, "That damn butt plug." Louis grumbled.
"Your kinks have intensified am I right?"
Louis shrugged, "I mean now that I'm older I know what my limits are. I can't just go willy nilly anymore, I still like being fucking in front of a mirror, I like hurting you..and you hurting me.." Louis looked at Harry and kissed him softly, "Just in case you had ideas."
"Wanna.. be eighteen and twenty two again?" Harry asked and Louis stared at Harry, inching closer to him.
"No." He whispered, "Not tonight, Haz."
Harry nodded and lied back against the cushions, Louis lied beside him, half his body draping over Harry's, resting on his chest. "You think we're gonna make it?" He whispered, staring at the ceiling.
Louis breathed heavily, closing his eyes, "Y-yeah..of course we are." Louis said even though he wasn't sure. They act like they know they'll make it, but they never will know.
"Yeah..we're gonna get married and be happy." Harry said with a small smile, looking at Louis, "we'll make it."
Louis grabbed his stomach and winced, he looked up at Harry with a small smile and Harry pouted, patting his butt softly.
Harry kissed Louis softly, only for Louis to deepen it more, Harry sighed softly and used his other hand to hold Louis' cheek. Louis felt small tears trickle down his cheeks, his lips were soft and he could taste the sweet wine on his tongue.
"Don't cry. What're you crying for, baby?"
Louis sniffled and kissed Harry again, "I love you, please don't ever let me go. I need you."
Harry smiled as he gave Louis another quick kiss, "I would never."
Louis straddled Harry's lap, taking off Harry's shirt and Harry doing the same to him, gasping softly when he sees the scars on his stomach. It hurt Harry.
Harry kissed the scars on Louis' stomach, rubbing his sides soothingly, whispering how there was another way, and how he still loves him.
"It..It hurts.." Louis whimpered, Harry still peppered kisses over his stitches, "But..it feels good.." Harry looked at Louis and pulled away, putting his shirt on Louis' smaller frame, watching it hang loosely off his body.
"I love you." Harry whispered, lying back and Louis resting on top of him.
"I love you too.."
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When Harry woke up again at six, Louis soft snoring right below him wearing his black shirt.
Harry didn't want to leave Louis, not like this.
Harry picked Louis up as he stood up causing him to let out a soft moan of surprise, mumbling something along the lines of "I need you."
Harry opened their room door and placed Louis on the bed, lifting the covers over his shivering body and kissing him on the lips.
Louis squinted at him and hummed, Harry knew Louis wasn't awake, he did this every time, Louis' eyes could be open and whatever you say to him he'll respond with a hum, but in reality he's not there he's between a space where he's sleeping but barely awake.
"Go back to sleep, love." Harry whispered, rubbing Louis' back. Louis hummed again and just in a matter of seconds Louis was asleep.
As Harry started to get dress he felt guiltier and guiltier, he was about to leave Louis, he was limited to certain things, he couldn't walk too much, reach for things, yell. He needed to make sure Louis was in the right state before leaving, but sleeping is good for now.
"Bye, Lou." Harry whispered and Louis whimpered as a response, shifting around in his sleep only letting out one understandable word.
"Stay."
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qotc; which is better, old louis and harry or current louis and harry in this fic ?
