Crimson

Open Eyes

I felt something stabbing me and I jumped from where I lay.

        “It’s okay, Fallon. I need to take your blood.” I heard a woman’s voice, but she was older and I didn’t know this place.

        I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t. I put my hands up to where my eyes were and felt teal eye covers taped over them.

        “A-am I blind?” I dared to ask.

        “In your left eye. Your right eye needs to heal from multiple minor scratches. In twenty-four hours you can take off your right patch and we’ll go from there. They removed your left eye.”

        I felt everything stop. Time seemed to collapse. Everything was distorted and I knew this feeling. This was shock.

        “Where am I? What happened?”

        “You’re in the Lindner psych ward. You had a gun and everyone thought you shot yourself, but you actually shot the reflection of yourself in the bathroom mirror. Nobody really knows everything besides that and the glass from the mirror got into your eyes. You should be able to still see out of your right eye, but the left had glass projectile inside it causing internal hemorrhaging.”

        “What am I supposed to do while I’m blind?” I was so confused.

        “Well, you are to attend through the day as normal, but we’ll assist you.”

        “Well, what time is it?”

        “Time for group therapy. If you feel behind you, there’s a wheelchair to sit in and I’ll take you down to the library.”

        I could feel that we were moving, but it was hard to comprehend. I heard a door slide open and closed and the people around me went silent for a second before resuming.

        “Hello, we were just starting with Kayden, if you would like to begin instead though, it’s up to you.” A man, I take as is the psychiatrist.

        “No, Kayden can go.” I said quietly.

        “What was your goal today?” The man asked.

        I had a feeling I should listen.

        “To make a friend.”

        “Why?”

        “To have support.”

        I was surprised to discover that Kodi was a girl. She sounded about my age. She was very quiet and didn’t seem to like talking.

        “Explain.”

        “Well…I’m trying to accept that I’m safe now and that he can’t hurt me anymore, but I can’t seem to make myself believe it…”

        “Who’s he?”

        “My father.”

        “And why did he make you feel unsafe?”

        “I don’t want to talk about it…” She murmured.

        “If you want to get better then you have to talk about it.”

        “I said I don’t want to fucking talk about it!” I heard her storm off.

        The man cleared his throat, “Moving on.”

        “I’m Fallon.” I muttered.

        “I know you don’t have a goal today, but you should have one for tomorrow. Tell us about yourself.”

        “My…best friend…she just; passed away recently.” I said trying to believe it.

        “You say it as if she was more.”

        “No…just friends. She was the only thing I had to hang onto though.”

        “Okay, tell us why you’re here?”

        “Sara died and I have nothing left…so I don’t see a point in living with no purpose, so I attempted to shoot myself…but I couldn’t and I don’t really remember why or what happened, but I was told I shot the mirror in front of me and the glass damaged my eyes.”

        “Have they told you what’s wrong?”

        I nodded, “They immediately removed my left eye and replaced it with the frame for a prosthetic, but I guess that has to be fitted to my eye.”

        I was trying to avoid talking about Sara.

        “How do you feel about that?”

        “I feel like a failure.”

        “Do you really wish you were gone? Is there nothing you would miss from life?”

        I nodded, “I wouldn’t miss a thing.”

        “Well, let’s continue.”

        “May I be excused?”

        There was no answer.

        “Hello, blind here…”

        “Yes.”

        I felt myself being moved.

        “Can you help me lie down?” I asked.

        I take that as a yes because she didn’t say anything, but she did help me lie down. I fell back to sleep fairly quickly after that. I wonder how long it’s going to take me to get out of here this time.