Crimson

Am I Dreaming?

        “Stop.”

        I pushed her back up to a sitting position. She had a confused look.

        “I thought that you liked me…”

        “I do…but I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I don’t like that.”

        “Did I do something wrong?”

        “No, Sara. I care about you. I’m not going to do this and end up like all the other guys and have you shut me out. I know what happened to you. I see how it affects you. I know that you give guys what they want then continue to the next. I know you do it because it’s the only thing you think you’re good for. I’m not going to be part of that vicious cycle. I want to be in your life. I want to show you I care. This isn’t it though. I can’t use you.”

        I saw tears start going down her cheeks and I reached up and wiped them away, “Don’t cry.”

        “Why?” she asked not comprehending the words I was saying.

        “Because I love you and I don’t want to lose you.”

        Everything shifted and changed. It was dark. I couldn’t see.

        “Fallon, I love you. I’m sorry,” I heard Sara.

        “Why did you leave?” I forced.

        “I was a lost cause from the beginning. I’m not who’s supposed to save you.”

        “I miss you.”

        She smiled and we were back on the couch. She was on top of me again and she kissed my cheek softly. I held her face in my hands and kissed her with all the passion I’ve kept up inside me. I held her body against mine tightly, but as the kiss got deeper, the dream faded away.

        I woke up crying.

        “Stop crying. Stop thinking. Get a hold of yourself or people are going to ask questions,” I scolded myself.

        I pulled off the stupid eye covers and wiped under my eye then went into my small bathroom where I splashed cold water in my face. I looked up in the mirror to meet my reflection. Shaggy black hair, one dark green eye, the other eye’s lid was only slightly open, but you could see the dark hollow spot where a replica of my green eye would’ve been. I was average height, kind of crooked teeth, my ears is kind of pointy. I was still in blue scrubs.

        It’s really hard to hear and feel instead of see.

        I have a feeling that this Kayden girl is important.