Crimson

It's A Question

I hid my pain and lied through my teeth to get them to set a release date for two days from now if I’m not suicidal. That means I’m going to continue lying until they sign those discharge papers. Apparently when I’m discharged they are going to schedule an appointment for me to get my prosthetic eye fitted. I guess my insurance agency is going to pay for it.

        I need to get out of here.

        Everything has been passing me by today. If it stays like this then time is going to go by fast. I’ll be out of here soon. I’ve been searching for that girl all day, but have yet to find her again. I guess she’s staying in her room. I’ll at least see her during diner. Then I’ll talk to her before she can go back to her room again.

         “Dinner!” A nurse announced as we took our seats and smiled at each other like we were best friends.

        Don’t be mistaken. It’s all part of the act. I ate in silence, stealing mesmerized glances at her striking appearance. I don’t know if she noticed or not, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to figure her out like everyone else here; but I couldn’t. She was a codex I didn’t have the key to figuring out. But I needed to.

        I was the first finished again because I couldn’t take eating in front of them all. I put my tray away and went to sit in the lounging area again to wait for her. She was the third person done and I stopped her before she went down her corridor by walking as close to her as I could without touching her.

        “Can I ask you a question? But that’s not the question I want to ask though,” I rushed.

        “Why?”

        “Because our conversation has been on my mind. Besides, it’s not quite fair if you know my story but I don’t know yours. I don’t even know your name honestly,” I was being truthful.

        “Fine.”

        “Can we play 20 questions?” She smiled at the childish game, wondering if I made a serious remark.

        “I want to play, but not with guessing items. That’s not how I play. How I play is that you can only ask questions about the other person,” I explained.

        “Um, I guess.” She smiled nervously.

        “We can sit and play in the lounging area,’ I suggested.

        We sat next to each other and sat in silence for a minute.

        “What’s your name?” I asked curiously.

        “Kayden. What’s your favorite thing to do?”

        “Show people I love them. Why are you here?”

        “Suicide/ self-harm…” She led off.

        “And sexual abuse victim…” I mentally smacked myself.

        “What do you think of me? Because I really don’t see why you’d want to talk to me.”

        “I think we could be friends. Do you not want to be friends?”

        “I don’t know. Where is this going?”

        “Not sure, but I kind of like it. What makes you happy?”

        “I haven’t ever been happy. When’s the last time you were happy?”

        “When I was with Sara. Why did you write that verse on my paper?”

        “I don’t know. Why, does it mean something?”

        I nodded,” Sara and I used to sing it together. Why did you start talking to me?”

        “I thought you were interesting and it felt right. Why does it matter?”

        “Because no one ever talks to me. When’s your discharge date?”

        “Two days. When’s yours?”

        “Same. Where do you live?”

        “Clermont County. In Bethel. You?”

        “Same, but I live in Amelia. You want to hang out when we get out of this hell hole?”

        She nodded,” Anything’s better than home. How old are you?”

        “17. You?”

        “16. Who do you live with?”

        “My adopted mom, but she works all the time so, basically no one. I have a feeling you just got put into foster care?”

        “No, I live with my uncle now, but he doesn’t really associate with me at all. Why did you get adopted?”

        “It's a long story,” I answered quietly, "What's your story?"

        “Same. Do you have a phone?”

        “Yeah, can I see your folder?” I had stolen a blue marker from the marker bin earlier.

        She handed me her folder and I wrote my phone number on the inside.

        “Marker?” I handed it to her with my folder and she quickly wrote her number on the same spot in my folder and handed them back to me.

        “I’m going to go take a shower, but we can talk later if you want,” Kayden ended the game early.

        “I’ll take one too while I’m waiting and I’ll meet you here?” I asked anticipating it.

        She nodded and went to her room where her stuff was waiting and I went off to mine quietly, excited for our return.