Why?

Chapter 12

*A year later*
Cody's P.O.V.

Xael was finally out of the hospital. Her hair was starting to grow back, but it was still very short and patchy. She smiled and laughed a lot more now, because she was grateful for being out of the hospital. She also gained a lot of friends because people saw past her cancer, and they just liked her for her! I thought that was amazing. Our relationship had gotten more serious. We took each other to see our parents, and of course my parents loved her, and her parents loved me. I had helped her catch up with all her homework that she missed from being in the hospital, but it took a REALLY long time. We did it though! And I was happy to help, because she's the love of my life.

"Cody, come here!" Xael shouted at me from downstairs. I had spent the night at her place, and she was making breakfast for me...ironically. I ran down the stairs, and  saw she was frying eggs in a pan. She turned off the stove and I hugged her from behind. I wrapped my hands around her stomach, and she looked backwards up at me. We both laughed and I kissed her on the forehead. She opened a cupboard and grabbed two plates. I distributed the eggs evenly amongst us until there was none left. Then we stuffed our faces with eggs, and put our dishes in the sink. We walked upstairs together and got dressed. It was Saturday, so we didn't have school. Xael had a doctor's appointment, and then we were going out to eat lunch.

We hopped into her car and I started driving to the doctor. I stayed in the waiting room as she went in. Half an hour later, she came in and said that she would have the results back in a week, like always. Since her cancer had gotten better, every month the doctor would take a blood sample and send it in. I was used to the same answer by now, so I nodded and followed her back to the car. We got in and drove to a Chinese restaurant in town. It turns out, we had both forgotten to make the reservations and it was packed, so we had to order to go. Xael seemed kind of upset so I drove fast to her house. Their parent's car wasn't in the driveway, so we were home alone.

She got the bag of Chinese food out of the backseat and walked into the house. I followed and found her eating on her bed. I sat next to her.

"Slow down! Save me some." I said playfully. She looked at me with a mad expression, and then she giggled. She nodded and offered me some, and I gladly took it. After about 5 minutes of eating delicious food in silence, she looked at me and laughed. I innocently looked back at her, and I might've had noodles coming out of my mouth... She laughed and kissed me on the cheek. I ate the noodles and put my food down on her nightstand. She did the same, and I hugged her.

"I love you so much, Xael." I smiled, and she kissed me. I didn't hold back, and my hands traveled to the small of her back. Our lips gently touched, and I felt like electricity was running through me. I felt so...alive whenever I kissed her!

Then I felt her hands moving down my chest, and onto my waist. I didn't pay much attention to it until she threw me down on the bed so she as laying on top of me. I looked at her and kissed her even more. She smiled and did the same. My hands reached her cheeks, and I pulled her closer to me. She didn't weigh that much, so I wasn't uncomfortable as she laid on top of me. Her hands were still on my waist, and they moved even lower, to the pockets of my shorts. Then they moved inwards until they hit my zipper. My body had adrenaline rushing through it, and I'm sure hers did too. My hand reached into her shirt until I felt her bra, and she unzipped my shorts. I didn't even feel what she was doing, because she had made me so loopy from her love. I had zoned out. But the sound of the zipper brought me back. I managed to somewhat look down (it was hard because her lips were in my eyesight), and I saw that she was pulling my shorts down.

I pushed her away and zipped them back up. I stood up off the bed and looked at her surprised face. She tried to move closer to me, but I turned away and put my hand in her face. It took me a second to gather my thoughts.

"We're you going to...have sex with me?!" I asked in a raised voice. I looked at her with a 'really?!' Look on my face. Her cheeks turned bright red and she looked at her feet. Then I realized that I must've been in la-la land for longer than I thought. Her shoes and socks were off, and so were her leggings. She stood in front of me in her shirt and underwear, and I suddenly felt underdressed too. I looked down and saw that my shirt was off, and my 6-pack was fully exposed. I scanned the room and found our clothes in a pile in the corner. I walked over to it and put my shirt on, then tossed her back her leggings. She shamefully put them on while still looking at the ground. "Xael, answer me." I said, a little quieter.

"...yeah..." She whispered into the air so I could just barely hear her. I walked over and sat in front of her on the bed. I ran my hands through my hair and grabbed her shoulders. I looked her in the eye, and she did the same. Her eyes were starting to tear up, and a wave of regret washed over me.

"Hey, Xael. Don't feel bad, I wasn't trying to be mean, I just...I mean, we're two kids in high school that have been together for a year. I don't think we should be...doing...it. Don't get me wrong, I think our relationship is serious, just not...that serious." I stated gently, and she nodded.

I heard her parent's car pull into the driveway, and I grabbed my things and walked out the door. I waved to her parents and smiled so they knew we hadn't done anything too serious, and I started walking to my house. It was only 3 blocks away from hers, and I didn't mind getting in a little extra exercise.

I arrived, and I hoped Xael was feeling better. I tried not to think about what had just happened as I did homework, but I couldn't help it. My brain ran wild. And it came to the conclusion that Xael wasn't telling me something. She was always good about knowing what was the right decision, and she knew damn well that was the wrong decision. And especially her wanting to move that fast in our relationship so suddenly meant something was up.

She made the wrong decision; she was rushing; she's trying to get things done/achieved fast... There's only one explanation for that:

There's something bad happening that she doesn't want to tell me about.