Shaforostop It (2015)

Chapter Eight - Wherever You Go

Denis and I had been lying together in his bed for who knows how long. Nothing else, just lying, talking. It was nice. I tried not to think about what had happpened the day before and what would happen after. I tried not to think about Eric or Cameron. "We should go on a vacation. A trip. Yes." Denis's voice was soft and quiet.

"Ah, where?" I laughed slighlty.

"Whever you want to go." I could feel his breathing on my skin we were so close. Our noses wer almost touching, and all I could see were his big hazel eyes. I was in love with the view, and I was in love with Denis. "Anywhere. I'll take you. It doesn't matter just say the word."

"I don't know. I can't go on vacation right now. I have to train. I haven't trained all week, I-"

"Come on. You don't need to. Let's just go we need to get away."

"Denis I can't. It's work." He sighed and blinked slowly.

"What timing. We need to go though, somewhere. Anywhere. Get away for a while. It will be good for you."

"You sound like some pop-punk band."

"Baby." HA baby. Does he know? Instantly I became anxious being so close to him.

"I know." I sighed sadly. "But I have things to deal with. I have to sort things out with Eric, and make sure Cameron doesn't hate me, and-"

"Why would Cameron hate you?" I laughed a little.

"Girl Cameron. My Cameron- no. Not mine." Denis's mood seemed to plumut at the simply mention of their names.

"You don't really have to do that stuff. We could do it for you."

"What?" I laughed out loud and rolled over so I was facing the scene. Denis pulled me closer and nuzzled his face into the crooked of my neck, I could feel him smiling. "Sorry, but I'm not getting a band to break up with my boyfriend. Besides, I owe him more than that."

"You don't owe him anything."

"I do. He's been with me through too much for me to dismiss him like that."

"I'm sure you've been with him through too much too. But did he go after you yesterday? No. That counts as dissmissing you." I paused. No, you went after me. But I didn't ask you to go after me. In fact I ran away from you. I should fix things with Eric. Not stay with him, but at least talk to him. Explain things. I need to tell him everything, because he deserves to know. "Leds, you don't owe him anything." I didn't know where the nickname came from, but I liked it. (A/N: Its more or less pronounced Leeds than Leds, but Leed's looks stupid.)

"He'll fuck you up." I breathed. "He'll beat the living shit out of you."

"Well I'll bring the guys. Five against one is pretty good odds for us."

"Yeah. Five skinny white boys against one buff body builder. It looks great for you." I sighed, and shuttered internally at the thought of Eric hurting Denis. At the thought of anyone hurting Denis. "Besides, I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"I would rather him hurt me." Denis said.

"No- Denis. The answer is no. I'll talk to him." He sighed softly.

"Okay. I won't do anything."

"Thank you." I still felt sick at the idea. Eric loves me. Eric would never do something like this to anyone. He's to nice. Too good for me. I don't deserve him. I deserve Denis. And Denis is wonderful and amazing and god he's everything I want, but he cheated too. He cheated on Dasha. Eric has never cheated at anything in his entire life.

"I still think we should leave. Just for a few days. Go to- anywhere. Australia. Far away from everything else."

"I still can't." I moved to face Denis again and he kissed my nose. "Even if I do want to. I'm tired."

"Than sleep." Denis whispered. He held me tighter, and I fell asleep again easily.

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The next morning when I woke up I was immediately energized with anxiety. Shit. I have to go. I have to leave. Home. Eric's house. I can't do this. This change is too drastic. I can't be with Denis. I have to go fix things with Eric and Cameron. Oh god. I fucked up. I totally fucked up. I shout out of bed and ran downstairs, breathing heavily. It only made me more upset that I knew my way around Denis's house. "Leda?" I heard Denis say. I rushed to put my shoes on. "Leda wait!" He shouted. My heart broke at the sound of the concern in his voice. The fear. Just as I was opening the door Denis came tearing down the stairs. "Stop." He looked terrified.

"I can't- I have to- I need to go." I hauled the door open and took a step forward but Denis grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Wait, don't. Please Leda. What's wrong?"

"I can't do this! I can't!" I looked up at Denis as I felt the lump in my throat grow, and tears pool in my eyes. "I can't keep quitting and hurting people and leaving. I can't just take what I want all the time!"

"No- Leda breath." I tried to pull away again but he wasn't letting me go this time. "I'm not letting you do this. You can't leave me like this again." His voice lowered as he looked me dead in the eyes.

"I-" I burst into tears and Denis wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his bear chest. I sobbed harshly as my throat burned like I'd just downed six shots.

"If you wanna leave right now then you're hurting me. You wanna stop running and leaving and hurting people start now. Just- whatever you do, don't leave." Simulatainiously I felt my heart swell, then shatter. I never fell so needed, so loved by anyone in my entire life.

"I love you." I sobbed and pulled away. I wiped my eyes and sniffled. "Okay? I'm not going anywhere." Denis kissed me softly.

"That's all I want. You're all I want. I love you." He rested hi forehead on mine. "Come on. I'll make you breakfast."