Shaforostop It (2015)

Chapter 30 - Talk To Me

Each day there are things that are a small stone in your ocean. It may be small, but the ripples affect everyone and everything. Someone had thrown a boulder in my pond.

It was weird. I hadn't seen the guys in almost two weeks. Two whole weeks. Denis stayed close to my side at all times. Ben was still with us, so I saw him, but James, Cameron, and Sam were basically dead to me. I didn't hate them, I couldn't, but they acted like I did. James knew that I found out what people thought had happened, and hadn't even tried to contact me. Didn't try to make his case against the accusations. Brandi and Haley stayed away. Brandi had a baby to worry about. She had to worry about what her future baby's daddy may or may not have done. She can't believe it. I don't even know how I would deal with that if something like that happened with Denis. Simply due to the silence in recent days, I was beginning to think it was true. Agree with Denis. But I was also beginning to remember. I remembered James long family speech - only making all of this more painful - and I remembered going to the club. I remembered dancing with everyone and laughing at Cameron. Denis left to the bathroom, and then nothing. Everything I remembered seeing was blurry, like a photograph faded by time. "Can we just go." Ben said, more of a statement than a question.

"We never said you can't." Denis muttered.

"Well you are saying she can't." Ben nodded at me harshly.

"Not the same, Ben. Don't fucking test me."

"Denis you're part of this band too, you're the one testing it. You can't just stay away for ever. You wanna fight James? Fight him. But do that, and get it all out, cause I'm not dealing with you being a moody cunt forever."

"He raped my fucking girlfriend!" Denis screaming at the top of his lungs, like an explosion. He did that a lot then, scream - or at least was ready to. I knew that what happened was weighing on him.

"No he didn't!" I screamed, jumping out of my chair. The whole room fell silent. I felt like I was letting everyone down by not remembering. It was the only thing I had to do, along with holding myself together, and I couldn't do it. It was hard enough to train and practice my routine with the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. Not knowing was the worst part.

"Why don't you tell her?" Ben spat. It seemed the bags under his eyes had become a common trend among everyone. Everyone was on their feet. "Why don't you tell her that they call every day?" Denis sighed deeply.

"What?" I breathed, and swallowed harshly.

"Leda they're worried about you. You don't go anywhere anymore. Cameron and Haley call all the time, and Sam even Britt, that's met you twice. Brandi. James calls here every fucking day to try and fix things." I walked straight up to Denis and slapped him in the face. He didn't argue or fight, or do anything. He stood there and took what he knew was coming to him.

"How the fuck, did you think you would get away without telling me that? How the fuck do you picture that happening?"

"I don't know." I muttered. "I wasn't thinking."

"Obvious fucking not you useless fuck." I spat. As soon as I said the words I knew I had hurt him, and I was glad for it. I had never truly fought with Denis before like that. But he was acting weird. Different. I always felt like he was hiding something from me, another thing, and k was right.

"Leda," Ben said.

"Let's go." I grabbed my phone from my pocket and walked out the front door. I got in my car and waited for Ben. When he finally came out, he got in the passenger seat.

"Go to James' house. I told him we're coming." I nodded, as I knew the way. "Leda, can we talk?"

"Are we not talking now?" He sighed at my sarcasm.