Shaforostop It (2015)

Chapter 29 - Change.

"Just tell me, Ben." I begged. He sighed deeply as I whined louder. I rolled onto my back with my head on his lap where we sat on the couch in my house.

"I can't. That's Denis' choice."

"Obviously not. It's about me, I deserve to know." Ben sighed again and made a weird nose. I laughed and say up normally.

"Fine. But you have to know, I don't believe it." I nodded excitedly. It had been eating away at me for the four days since I woke up on the couch with no explanation other than I hit my head, and a trail of hickeys. "Okay. Denis thinks that James, well, drugged you." I was taken aback. That's not what I was expecting. I don't even know what I was expecting. "And well..."

"Raped me?" I gaped.

"Yeah."

"What the fuck!" I screamed.

"Okay Leda let me explain-"

"No! How the fuck could you keep something like that from me!" I stood up, screaming now.

"Leda I wanted to tell you." Ben pleaded. "Just sit down and let me finish."

"Oh my god." I ran my fingers through my hair roughly as I paced the living room carpet. "I don't- when- how- what the fuck!" How could they not tell me that. That's why Denis hates James. It explains everything, but doesn't make sense. James would never. He's not like that. He has a girlfriend, a fucking kid on the way. James wouldn't do something like that to me - to anyone.

"Leda I don't think he did it."

"Then why does Denis. Oh god where is he I'm gonna fucking kill that bastard. How could he not fucking tell me!" I felt like I was either going to throw up on the spot or burst into tears. I fell to my knees as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Oh no." Ben said. "Leda don't cry." Ben got up and knelt beside me. "It's okay." He rubbed my back soothingly. I pushed him back.

"Don't touch me." I spat. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Okay, yea. Okay. I'm sorry. Leda, please let me explain. Listen." I wiped my eyes as I continued to sob.

"What."

"Okay. Let me tell you everything I know. We went to the club, all of us and your friend Cameron. Denis goes to the bathroom, I walk over with James. He asks you to dance, as just like a friend thing, and instead you go sit at the bar alone with him. Denis comes back and brings you back to dance. You start acting all weird and push him off, and disappear. Apparently he found you back here in your bed wearing one of James' shirts, with no James." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Why don't you think it's true." I said, my voice quiet and shaking. No. It can't be. It can't be true.

"Because I know James." I looked up at Ben. "Better than anyone. If he wanted to bang you, he would have found any other way. He wouldn't do something like that. He has Brandi, and a kid on the way now. He wouldn't risk losing all that for anything." I felt like I was suffocating.
"Leda, you need to talk to Denis about this."

"Why didn't he tell me?" I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from either screaming or kicking a hole in the wall.

"He couldn't. I don't really know. He was going to when you woke up right away, he said that if you didn't remember you deserved to be told. I just don't think he could get the words out." I took a deep shaky breath and stood. No matter how hard I tried to keep the tears at bay, it didn't matter, because they came anyways.

"Hey!" Denis called as the front door opened. "I'm home." I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his tiny waist, and sobbed into his chest. "Wha- what's wrong?" He looked down at me and I just kept sobbing.

"Sorry, mate. I had to." Ben said. "I'll leave you two to it then." He walked out the front door.

"Come here." Denis pulled away and wiped my tears with his thumb.

"Why didn't- why didn't you tell me." I choked. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Leda. I'm so sorry. I couldn't do it. Come," he held me again. He picked me up bridal style and carried me upstairs to our bedroom. He set me down on the bed and shrugged off his leather jacket, letting it fall to the floor. He climbed into bed beside me and I cuddled into his chest. I continued to sob. I could hardly make the words out to ask a question. "He told you everything?" I nodded. "Leda." He sighed sadly and held me tighter. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know. I know. Do you think he did it?" Denis paused for a long time. I bit the inside of my cheek.

"I d- I don't see any other explanation." A tear slid down my cheek. I hated crying, especially in front of Denis. It made me feel weak. "I didn't want to believe it at first. But he's the only person you were alone with other than me all night.

"What do you think he did stuck a needle in my throat in the middle of a crowded club?" I spat. I was so angry, that no one had told me.

"If anything it was something he put in your drink."

"You said to you were in the bathroom, you weren't even there. Maybe it could have been a total stranger." Either way, I felt totally disgusting. I felt like I was someone's property instead of my own person. I felt weak, and I felt used. I wanted to go into the bath and scrub all my fucking skin off.

"Leda, I just don't see it any other way." I buried my face in his chest even further, so I didn't have to look at anything else. I didn't want to see a world where something so wrong may or may not have happened.

"So what now? What happens to all of us?"

"I don't know, Leda. I really don't know."

"You're never gonna let this go, I know it. This is gonna change everything." I didn't want to be the one to tear everyone apart.

"Rightfully so, Leda. After what he did to you-" he stopped himself. "I can't even fucking look at him."

"How are you gonna tour then? You can't just punch him in the face and yell and scream all the time."

"Well, babe, I kind of get paid to yell and scream." I laughing slightly and Denis kissed the top of my head. "It will be okay. I promise."

"He has a kid," I muttered. "He could never. He told me before anyone else. When we came here after your birthday party and we were sitting in the basement. I've known the whole time and I thought- I thought we were gonna be friends.

"Baby you need to remember what happened." I looked up at Denis. "I know it's hard and I know you might not want to, but you need to. We need to know if he did it or not. Cause I can't-" his voice caught. "If he did it, if he touched you- I never wanna see him again." My heart broken and I cuddled back into Denis. Does that mean Asking would break up. Oh shit. What if I'm the reason they break up. Our little family disintegrate. I don't want that. What if I can't ever remember and we never know what really happened? Does Denis just leave.

"I don't know if I can."

"One things is for sure." I looked up at Denis and wiped my tears stains cheeks. "This is going to change everything."

At the simple mention of a murder in an author's note, ya flipped your shit. I laughed quite hard. But I must admit, in the last chapter, you guessed pretty fucking well. Am I that easy? The answer is yes.

Okay- now the real question? DID JAMES DO IT OR NOT GUYS? DID HE? HUH? BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHAT HAPPENS LATER YA CHEEKY FUCKS.

IMPORTANT:
I find it very important to note that I am in no way attempting to glorify the situation portrayed. It is merely a story, and a purely fictional one at that.