Life is hard. Everyone's experiences shapes and moulds the person that they are. Mine didn't make me a better person, it made me scared and ashamed.
I left the military for a break after the incident. Astraea, my best friend, and my sister, Emily...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Lol won't lemme put two up so yeah.
Uh, need to edit this lolll
••• September 20th
Astraea and I come back from our dance class that we've been attending recently; I really enjoy letting myself loose in the form of exercise. I have toned my muscles more and am back in shape whilst distressing. It's really fun, actually. Astraea says something and goes to the kitchen to cook us something for dinner whilst I reply to a text Hayley sent me.
Hey, hope your little performance in dance went well! Alf and I have been missing you ❣️
I smile widely and sigh as I text back, Thanks Hayles, and same here. Hopefully I'll see you when y'all come to La for the show 💝💝
I hit send and leave my phone on the armchair to go help Astraea. I find her selecting a song on her phone so I take over stirring the egg and spinach mix in the pan. She smiles softly at me before going to get the plates.
"It's not long till the concert." She says and I nod, her red lips smiling. "Are you ready?"
My smile falters and I take a deep breath, helping Astraea with serving. "Yeah, there's nothing to do at this point. Anyways, Hayley said we could watch at the sound control panel."
"Tell her thanks from me."
"I have already." I laugh as I take a seat in my armchair. We both settle into a conversation about her return date to New York and the concert. She soon excuses herself to take a shower so I decide to run. I need to tire out my muscles even more so that I can sleep well tonight due to my nightmares coming back.
Grabbing a hoodie as I'm already in workout gear, I leave the apartment building and take a left towards the stretch of road by the seafront. In the meantime, I blast Paramore's new album through my earphones and smile at the sound of Hayley's voice, something I've missed after she moved to Nashville for good.
I reach a bench after twenty minutes of running and take a seat. I take the time to watch the moon above the water, reflecting a silver light onto the black water, a soft breeze cools my sweaty skin and the crashing of the waves calms my frantic heart. I tighten my ponytail, smiling at the thought of my grey hair, almost silver in some lights. I soon relax against the wooden surface and go through my muddled thoughts that have been overshadowing my time with my best friend.
The show will be fine; you'll see Hayley and have a great time listening to the music. And if it's Taylor you're worried about, you've gotten stronger and he'll be the one to say sorry anyway. So don't overthink it all.
I close my eyes and listen to the relaxing white noise creates by the undulating waves. The salty air refreshes me but it also brings me back into my memories - Santorini, the last time I saw Taylor. I clench my fists.
