Chapter 17

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Cami

An hour later I was stepping into Xan's room. Shauna and Zed had decided that the next round would be tomorrow night, so that gave us plenty of time to recover.

I glanced around his dorm. It was small and yet, it had two other beds, three in total. Mike came in after me, slumped down on his bed and immediately grabbed his earplugs and punched the play button on his iPod. His music was so loud; I could hear it through his earplugs. Or perhaps that was just me. Edward came last, his shoulders hunched and he snatched his towel and stooped towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He didn't bolt the lock.

I propped myself on the edge of Edward's bed, the one closest to the window and the one next to Xan's. I felt a little awkward. I'd only told Nat where I was going. And he'd only just agreed to let me go and as soon as I sensed something funny to press his speed dial and he'd be here in a flash. Somehow, right now, I didn't see Xan very intimidating.

"What do you want, Xan?"

He grinned. "I want you to tell me how you did all of that."

I gulped hard on a thick cotton-like ball in my throat. "I don't understand."

He chuckled. "You know exactly what I mean, sweetheart. Now, spill." He brought his hands in front of his body in a bring-it-on gesture.

Xan was right; I knew exactly what he was talking about. "My boyfriend trained me, you know. That's all. He made me who I am right now."

"And who's your boy?"

"His name's Nat," I smiled, "and without him I wouldn't be able to a do any of this."

"Does Nat go to Caltech?"

"No."

"How old is he?"

I didn't think how this was at all relevant. "That's none of your concern."

He smothered his hand down my cheek, sending down a chill down my spinal cord. "Yes it is. Now, where were we?" He cracked his knuckles and neck.

I had no choice but to tell him that: "He's eighteen."

Xan raised his eyebrows, whistling in amazement. "Ooh, Baby Cami going for a boy three years older, is she?"

I held my head high. "Yes. Anyway, it's none of your damn business. How does this link with–"

"With how you got this strong," he finished for me. He looked at me deep in the eyes. "It does, Cami, you just don't understand, do you?" He turned away and walked towards the window and stared out it, his back facing me.

I did something that even surprised me: I walked up to Xan and put a hand on his back, saying, "Then make me understand." His neck craned back and those dark eyes stared deep into mine, making my head spin, my stomach churn, my vision go black from the sides, and I clutched hard on the windowsill for support to keep my body upright. He could still be scary at times even when whatever he was saying was quiet. But that was rare, most of the things he said, most of the conversations we'd had were angry and demeaning.

He sighed, his expression beaten. "The school counselors are raising an awareness that the Defense Department closes down unless it has some students who are worthwhile." He hesitated. "And whatever I tell you now, you promise not to tell anyone or get mad."

I nodded. "Yes, I promise." It sounded funny confronting a promise to Xan Hagen.

His eyes rolled back as if he was relieved to finally be letting this – or more likely his – secret out into my mind. "I am not who you think I am."

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