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Dumb Mothertrucker fucker

Five seconds of summer decided to join us for dinner, I am so fucking excited.

"What are you doing here?"

It sounded a lot worse than what I intended it to sound judging by the boys hurt expression and the punch to the arm I received from Nicole.

"We lost our hotel room keys and there was too big of a mob to ask for more so we are staying with you!"

I looked to Nicole panicked to be leaving under the same roof as my brother I ran from. I took my seat at the table which just happened to be across from the devil himself. I focused on my food as much as possible looking up time to time to find both Michael and Ashton staring at me. Ashton looked at me as if he saw a ghost, but Michael's expression I couldn't quite understand.

"I really like your hair.."

Michael said it as if he was nervous. Michael Clifford nervous about me is really funny.

"Thanks Nicole helped me dye it, it's for the tour."

I spoke with faked confidence my accent becoming more apparent with my words. Conversations jumped back in forth. It mostly consisted of flirting and bad pickup lines.

"You pretty."

Luke stupidly says to a giggly Scarlett who shoots him down quickly with

"Nah you're the pretty girl babe."

That comment ended the flirting leaving the boys in fits of giggles. I left the table and walked back to my room. I started sorting through my things pulling out the necklace I had kept from my past life. It was a simple silver chain with a silver locket. Tiny flowers etched into the design and a B was placed in the middle. In the locket was a picture of my family and I before everything went bad.

"I knew it was you."

I spun around on my heel quickly to see Michael standing in the doorway. I threw the locket onto the bed glaring at him.

"What are you talking about Gordon?"

I used his middle name knowing it annoyed him to some extent. He walked into the room closing and locking the door. It made me nervous the endless possibilities that could happen in this situation. He walked closer to me making me back up to the wall. Soon he was right in front of me as I pressed as close to the wall as I could.

"Bailee Ann Irwin, I can't believe you're still around."

When I went to school in Australia Michael was in one of my classes' honors literature. We both liked each other, but never did anything about it. We were only twelve anyway.

"Michael Gordon Clifford. I can't believe you actually had the balls to talk to me. Did someone learn some confidence?"

I pushed him away and went back to the locket quickly tucking it away in the box I pulled it out of.

"So what do I need to do to keep you quiet?"

I didn't pay attention to his reaction waiting for him to give me some vile task to participate in.

"Nothing, I just want you to know that I know, and I will keep it a secret for you. Just want us to be friends Annie."

I glared at him, that disgusting nickname coming back to haunt my dreams. I continued to ignore his presence as I messed with more things in my room. My drawing book that was filled to the brim with celebrities or animals, my favorite drawing was Michael playing the guitar. I worked on it for months trying to etch in every detail on his face.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

I slammed the book shut cursing myself for not noticing his approaching footsteps. I sat on my bed patting the spot next to me.

"Why do you want to be friends so bad?"

The question was picking at my head. I know I still have feelings for the multi colored boy who was a great writer, but hated to admit to it.

"I missed you, going from seeing you every day in class to having you disappear off the face of the earth for six years, and now finding you. I was the one who pushed the boys to sign you as our opening act. Don't get me wrong they love your band you guys are more talented than we are. Plus I don't know I mightstilllikeyoufromallthoseyearsago."

Michael said the last phrase quickly I barely caught on to the words that he spoke, but if what I heard was true than it really is time to panic. I can't go through a relationship. The past has taught me never to trust a living soul with my feelings, and never let anyone in. The girls are an acceptation they won't hurt me, but a boy will.

"Get out."

Michael looked at me shocked. I was kicking him out of my room. I was about to tell him again when he kissed me. I wanted to kiss back I really did, but I quickly pushed him away. I could see the hurt and tears rising in his eyes. The questions he wanted to ask rolling through his head.

"GET OUT NOW MICHAEL"

I lashed out yelling in the poor boys face. I ruined something that could have been so good, but I know deep down that this is so bad. Boys are poison, and I don't need more of that in my life.

"Who hurt you?"

I winced at his question looking away from his questioning face as he got up and walked to my door. The sound of it unlocking echoed the room.

"I'm sorry Annie, Maybe one day."

That sentence danced through my head. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. He sounded broken and torn, like I had ripped out his heart and crushed it in my hand. In a way I guess I did, I broke Michael Clifford the boy I had liked since I was twelve. The boy I dreamed about marrying, and traveling the world with just walked out my door completely heartbroken. I felt a single tear drip onto my hand followed by another and another. Soon I was a wreck sobbing into the pillow to muffle out the noise of my broken heart. If I told anyone about this they would say he's just a boy, I just met him this is the first day with him, I am overreacting. But I'm not. I got out my notebook and started to write new lyrics. The title to my new song The lonely, but I could never show the girls this song. It was obviously about him, it echoes the screams of my heart. I wish I could be with him, I wish I could give him my heart; I wish I could erase my past and be able to love him. But it's not that simple; to heal a broken heart you must cut it out and replace it with a new one. I don't have a heart to replace it with. I continued writing my song feeling the emotions pour out and onto the paper. My favorite line

Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby. Let you go and let the lonely in to take my heart again.

The line echoed my life. The amount of times I have accepted the loneliness that is my life. I won't ever allow myself to love anyone in fear they will hurt me, in fear that I will hurt them. I checked the time on the clock half past ten. I could hear everyone having fun in the living room. I wasn't in the partying mood so I got ready for bed, but I know I am not sleeping. It's just like every other night, night terrors disturbed my sleep to the point I just stopped. I spend my nights watching Netflix and planning my bass. The rest of the girls used to get mad at me for never sleeping, but I think they got used to it by now. I sleep every once in awhile, and I know I should sleep tonight but I can't with recent events replaying through my head like a never ending torture device. The opening credits of Nightmare before Christmas started rolling as I got comfortable in my bed. I could feel sleep tugging at the back of my mind but I refused to give in to the temptation. I got through most of the movie about to reach the poisoning part when I felt my eyes flutter close.