Uncover

You're going down Irwin

The morning light woke me up illuminating the male figure next to me. Of course it was Mikey, so I gathered all my strength and shoved him out of my bed. His body hit the floor with a thud and a slight moan of pain. I watched as he stood up off the ground rubbing his head. I glared at him, and without saying a word i shooed him out. He tried to protest, but I glared more. If looks could kill, I would have never been in this mess in the first place. When he did finally leave i let out a shaky sigh of relief. Now I can think. My memory of earlier is foggy, but the stitches that criss cross my skin remind me of how much of an idiot I am. I started writing a song the words flowing on to the paper. Uncover it read. Reading back over it I threw the song in utter disgust. A song about love pointed at the one boy who turned his back on me. One half of me can see where he was coming from, I can understand the very small amount of logic he used, but the other half hates him more than anything else in the world. I still can't decide which half of myself is stronger, and that scares me.

"Shiloh can we come in?"

I could hear the girls at my door, and seeing as I didn't answer they took that as a welcome invitation.

"We might have to drop the tour.."

The realization of how my actions would affect my friends just hit me in the face. I possibly screwed up our chance to push forward as a band, show the world what we're really made of.

"No we are still going. Last night was a mistake and i won't let that take away my dreams. We have until five days. Tune your stuff, pack your bags, and kiss this house goodbye. We are going on that tour broken and coming out strong. It's a new beginning for all of us. Just do me one thing and keep me far far away from Michael Clifford."

I had a mission. I was going to get through this tour, and I was going to enjoy it. I got out of my bed giving each of the girl's a much needed hug. The rest of our day was spent in bed watching every Tim Burton movie that was on netflix. We ignored the boys whenever they knocked at the door, and I could tell It was affecting the girls. I'm starting to think they each have a small liking in the boys. I kind of want Nicole and Luke and Scarlet with Ashton. Audrey can have Calum that would be adorable, and I can have..... NO NO NO. I stopped myself before the thought was able to fully come through. After what he did to me he's lucky he's not dead or injured in anyway.

"You have to forgive him eventually Bells."

Ashton was calling through the door. He was the only one who ever called me that. Death to him. I moved out of the bed opening the door.

"You have no say in my life Irwin."

He looked like the same way he did every morning when he thought he heard me screaming in the night. I always blamed nightmares. If only it was just that.

"Bells you can't push me away like you have done your whole life."

That's it. That's the last fucking straw.

"I pushed you away Ashton! That's really fucking funny because I remember it a completely different way. I never pushed you away! I tried to come to you for help! But no it was always Bells you're overreacting. Oh Bells go away I am too busy for your pity party. Stop being so depressed Bells you have everything you could ever ask for. I can't be around you Bells you make me depressed. How was I pushing you away?"

I was livid. I needed my brother, and he pushed me away. I needed someone to save me, but he couldn't care less.

"It's not like anything was threatening your life! You were the one cutting it short. That was not my fault. You wouldn't get yourself help Bells you wanted the attention it brought you."

I pulled up the corner of my shirt the dark blue scar was still as visible at the day it finally healed.

"I did not do that to myself. You and Mother dearest left me for a month with that monster, because you thought we needed bonding time. That we were just fighting like normal father daughter shit. The day you left he stabbed me. I had to get myself to the doctor on my own, and make up some bullshit excuse, so that when you guys got home you wouldn't find him in jail. I had to have an abortion the week i left because god forbid we let father get taken to jail. I was twelve years old i was turning thirteen in a month, and i had to get a hospital nurse i got close with to get me out of the country. She quit her job to raise me, and she is a great mother. I don't count any of you as my family. I am not an Irwin, I am a Brooks, and I will never be an Irwin again."