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Telling Secrets will only break your heart

Michael looked so hurt, his facial expression echoed the misery in my heart.

"Can't you give it a shot? Who hurt you to make you so distrustful in guys?"

As Mikey's words rattled in my head, images and memories started to resurface of the awful things he did when my family slept. The things that monster i had to wake up and see everyday. I had to call him Father even after he stole my innocence from me time after time again.

" I can't tell you.."

My voice broke with each word. No one can ever know what he did.

"Please Annie."

I took a deep breath not knowing how to starting, not knowing the proper words to make it all seem okay.

"When i was still living at my house my dad did things to me. Things a parent shouldn't do and and it was awful."

I broke down crying waiting for Mikey to understand what I told him. When he finally did he was angry.

"He sexually abused you?!"

He screamed it loud enough for possibly everyone in the house to hear. I was in shock someone had said it outloud what he did to me. Mikey got up out of the bed and ran out the room. I had to chase after him, the possibility of him running to Ashton was high. The possibility soon turned to a reality when i heard Mikey yelling at him.

"Do you want to know why your sister ran away?!"

When i turned the corner he was yelling that. The other boys looked confused while the girls stared at me in shock. I mouthed the word oops to them as they shook their heads in disbelief.

"She was being sexually abused by your father?!"

He said it. He told everyone. My whole world was crashing around me. I pretend to be this strong girl an open book, but he just let out my biggest secret, and I was mad.

"Fuck you Michael Clifford."

I was beyond pissed breaking my silence in the corner by walking right up to him.

"I told you because i thought i could trust you. I thought you weren't going to tell anyone, and then you go and do this. You fucking asshole. Kiss your dreams goodbye of ever having me be your girlfriend. You just fucked up your chances and i will never forgive you."

With that i walked away proceeding back to my bedroom. I didn't know whether to be realized or upset that he forced me to do that. All i know right know i was livid with anger. Screaming, crying a perfect storm. He just made all the tables turned, and i will never allow myself to be called his. That little shit can go fuck himself. I threw a trophy from a sport I didn't want to even do at the wall. A small hole formed. Great I have to fucking fix that to and pay my own money to get damn plaster. I threw more things looking for the one thing my fingers haven't touched in forever. A shiny friend that brings the pain to a slight dull. Boxes after boxes I searched for it, and then there it was. My blue ring box, and inside was my old best friend. I pulled it out, it felt small, delicate, and cold in the palm of my hand. It's funny how something so small can cause so much damage. I brought it to my skin digging deeper and deeper, the color turning a brilliant red. The memories of that monster touching me fueled the pressure I put into the skin. I could feel my feet start to sway, the shock made me sit down and continue. I just want the pain of now over. I can't seem to do anything right but this. I can hear the pounding of my heart, or is that the pounding at the door? Are the screams in telling me to stop in my head or is that outside my door? I saw the door fly open out of the corner of my eye. I swear I'm imagining the boys and girls running over to me, of Michael ripping the blade out of my hand and throwing it across the room. I reached for it again, but I didn't have the energy to move an inch. My eyes drifted closed, the frantic cries of my friends drowned into the background. It's okay. I wanted to tell them It's okay. I want this I think. I want the pain gone, even if that means I have to die to do just that.