The Summer Job | g.d

30 • Bonfire

30 • Bonfire

I sit myself up on the bus just as I see the lights of the resort come into focus. The meal that we just had was beautiful. It tasted lovely and the service was great so that put me in a good mood.

On top of that, Mom seems to accept the fact that I have no plans lined up and I have no idea what I am doing with my life but I guess the more time I take to plan the better my future will be.

I've just got to take time.

Once we arrive at the resort bus stop, my mother and I jump off walking back towards the apartment.

"Hey Mom," I say.

"Yes," she smiles, looking over at me.

"I've got to go help Grayson with coastguard so I'll see you tomorrow," I says and she nods in return, wishing me a good night before she continues to walk.

I divert my track and walk off towards the beaten search of Grayson. Just as I turn a corner I can see him just waiting for me. It has seemed to become a habit of ours, just to wait for each other to show up.

"Hey Clarke," he smiles and I continue to walk over to him.

"Hey!" I exclaim just as we start walking. "Shit, can I tell you something?"

"What?" He says, looking over at me like I just lost a limb.

"I had this super fucked up convo with my Mom and I kinda want to share it with someone," I mutter, knowing I am probably raising his hopes but I just need someone to tell.

Someone to give me proper unbiased help because in all honesty, that is what I need right now.

"Fire away!" Grayson exclaims and I just smile, glad he is down to listen to my river of problems.

"Alright, so a big secret is that I don't actually have a plan, I don't have a uni lined up and I have no idea what to do with my life, all I know is that I want to live in New York and to be rich," I complain, throwing my head back in frustration at the whole system.

Why couldn't I just try a little harder in school just to make things better?

"Oh, okay," Grayson mutters, taking it all in, "Alright."

"It's bad isn't it," I sigh, wiping the growing sweat off my forehead.

"No, no, loads of people don't go to uni, it's not out of the norm," he tries to make me feel better but I just feel like a failure.

Like Clarke Summers, a girl who grows up in a wealthy household. Yeah she may be fucked up in the head but she can at least do math, only slightly. But she didn't go to a uni and instead works as a fucking maid for some rich guy that she sleeps with just to get an extra ten dollar note.

Like, I don't want that life.

"No, it is bad," I groan, "no successful person doesn't go to university!"

"Hey, look at models, a lot of them don't go to university and now they are all fucking rich," he points out, which definitely doesn't help.

"Yeah but they're models which means they are hot," I end the point there, seeing that he understands it by his facial expressions.

I honestly don't understand how people can live a life not wanting to be successful or like really rich. Like, that is all I have ever wanted I just fucking lost the way a little in the years that counted the most.

Ugh! I hate myself a lot right now.

"But you have a plan right?" He asks and I just solemnly shake my head. "So you don't know what you even want to do?"