I'm not crazy (Scomiche)

Chapter 18

Our snuggles lasted almost all day. It was a mix of a lot of Disney, a lot of popcorn and a lot of snuck in kisses. I tried not to think about the phone call, but no matter what I did, my thoughts always popped right back to the beginning. What was the phone call about? Why did Scott seem so worried about it? All of these questions scratched at the inside of my brain. I wanted to ask, but he would obviously tell me not to worry about it. Besides, if he was worried or upset about it, what effect would it have on me? And did I really want this moment to end just because I have a silly question?

"What's on your mind Mitchie?" He traced little circles on my arm. It was very comforting. Yup, I most definitely didn't want this moment to end.

"Nothing." I lied. He continued to to draw little patterns up and down my small bicep until all of his movements stopped. He removed his hands and didn't offer any form of comfort. I sat awkwardly in his lap for a few seconds more until I squirmed in his lap, just trying to find some sort of contact. I looked up at him to see what he was up to. My eyes were squinted and my eyebrows drawn together. "What are you doing?"

His hands looked like he was in a surrender position and his chest was pushed as far back into the couch as he could. It worried me for a second. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did I do something?" All of these thoughts did laps around my head. Again I tried to snuggle into him but it wasn't the same when he didn't commit to affection too. I pouted up at him.

"I've noticed that you keep in a lot of things. You don't tell me and that's not healthy. Not for you. Not for your situation. Not for me. Not for our relationship. So, I have come up with a solution. I know you want to snuggle right now, so I will take that away until you tell me what's itching at your mind. You want cuddles, I want answers. Sound fair?" He compromised.

I suppose that makes sense. "What was that phone call about?" After the words came out of my mouth, I was instantly wrapped inside of his warm arms. He flipped me around so he could draw designs in my back and I could put my head in his neck. He knows me so well. The news must be pretty bad if it needs this much comfort. Either way I was good and ready for anything he could throw at me. My nerves were rid of their usual constant vibration.

"Well, remember when I told you that we would have to go back to 'All Saints' for a check up every now and then for awhile?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Tomorrow we go back. Just so they can give you a check up and make sure you're content with your living arrangements. Okay?" 

"Yeah." In turned back to my show, but I wasn't really paying attention. What if they think that I'm too crazy to stay with Scott? What would happen to our relationship? What if he finally sees how crazy I actually am, that I could actually hurt someone in a severe case of an episode? He'll leave. No. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.

"There's one more thing." You don't think that four words can stop your heart. But I assure you, they most definitely can.

"Y-yeah?" My voice quivered a little in fear. I didn't want anymore bad news.

"I'm not technically allowed to be in a relationship with you. So if y-"

"If you're breaking up with me, please just do it. Don't prolong it and make the anticipation worsen the situation."

"What? No! Mitchie, no! Now, no more thoughts like that and no more talking so you can listen to what I tell you. I'm not breaking up with you." My body relaxed back into his touch. "As I was saying... I'm not technically allowed to be in a relationship with you. So, if you don't mention it, or if they ask you about it, deny it and we should be okay. I am not allowed to comfort you, not allowed to rub your back, or hold your hand. The only time I can wrap you in my arms is if you're having an episode. Is that okay?"

I assumed I could speak now. It was a stupid question. What if I said no? He can't do anything about it. "No contact for a whole day?" I asked sarcastically.

He chucked a little and rubbed our noses together. When he was done with that, he leaned his forehead against mine. "I guess we'll just have to make up for it now."

"Oh yeah most defin-" I was cut of by a small kiss that left me giggling. But when he pulled back to look me in the eyes, we stared at each other for a moment longer than a comfortable amount. I didn't mind, I could be lost at sea in his watery-blue eyes and still it wouldn't bother me. 

He started leaning in again. I found myself doing the same thing. Our lips met. Not like the times before. They had been short and sweet. This one was still sweet and loving, but it was deeper. More sparks flew out of my ears. I had never loved a man so much. I didn't want the moment to end, but eventually we needed air. When we pulled apart, we looked into each other's eyes again. I gave him a small smile.

"I love you." He said. To say the least, he caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting those words. Not for a while at least. All of my wonders and worries about whether he'd leave me left my body. Only one other man had said that to me before. Was I ready to say it back? 

"I love you too." Of course I was