I'm not crazy (Scomiche)

Chapter 26

A/n: This idea came from PTX_Pentaholic99. So you can thank them for this chapter. Here you go.

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"Scott?"

He looked down at me and smiled. "What do you need, Mitchie?" I closed my eyes and thought.

He needs my help. He won't let me help though. What can I do? He won't help himself. He won't let me help him. He deserves the best. He only helps me. Why would he not help himself? There isn't a selfish bone in his body. That sounds like a good thing, but in this case, he needs to have something for himself. He won't tell me why he doesn't care about himself. What would Scott do? What would Scott do?

That's when I got it.

"Honey, are you okay?" He asked with concern scratched across his face. I shook my head and stood up from his lap. I put my hands up in a surrendering form just like he would have done to me.  "What are you doing?" He asked with one eyebrow raised.

"Are you okay?" I questioned. I wrapped my arms around my biceps and rubbed them to make myself warmer as a shiver traveled up my spine.

"Yeah. Now, come back, you're shaking. It's freezing in here, I'll keep you warm." He pat his lap and I squinted at him. I removed my arms again and let myself shiver. Sacrifices had to be made. My body was trembling. How cold is this house?!

"I want the truth, and you want to help me. It's only fair that you get what you want if I get what I want, no?" I said, quoting him in a way. "Now, why won't you help yourself? You only help me. Only make sure I have everything I need, when you have a dump for a room? You always make sure I'm happy, not just content. I have to be over the moon before you even consider looking after yourself. Why is that?"

He looked at me with worry in his eyes. "Mitchie, you're a shivering mess."

"Then you better hurry up and spill." I said through clenched teeth.

He looked down once he realized I wasn't going to cave. His voice was small and it made my heart sink a little. "Mitch? I think I'm crazy." I quickly ran over to him and straddled his legs. Why would he think that?

"W-why?"

"My only goal is to help others. I find it almost impossible to help myself. Don't you think I've tried? I was diagnosed with manic depression when I was 14. They tried everything. Medication, therapy, the whole jazz, non of it worked. I couldn't help myself, I may as well help others. Helping others helps me in a way." His voice is shaking, and when I pulled my head away from his neck, I saw a single tear slipping down his cheek. 

If he thought that he was crazy. What does he think of me? A person who nearly killed someone he once loved? A person who shakes and losses his ration when he gets scared? I realized in that moment, that I know nothing about him. He knows every part and piece of me, yet I don't know anything about him. 

I ran my thumb down the wet trail of his tear and gave him a weak smile, all while looking into his swollen, wet, blue eyes. "I'm sorry," he spoke softly.

"Never be." I leaned in towards his ear. I kissed the top of his head, right above his ear. I know how it felt to feel completely crazy, unwanted, and useless. I never wanted him to feel that way. I know that there was nothing I could do. But I was sure as hell going to try. He was there for me when I needed him, it was my turn.

I leaned a bit to whisper in his ear. "You're not crazy." I kissed his jaw. "You're not crazy." I kissed between his collar bones. "You're not crazy." I kissed right between his rib cages. "You're not crazy." I stopped there. I didn't do this to make him excited, but merely to get my point across. I levelled back out to his face. I looked into his eyes for a second. I noticed everything I neglected to see before. Then I leaned in and kissed his lips. I pulled back. "You're not crazy."

He said that helping people made him feel better in a way. I cuddled into him so he could have his dominance back. He wrapped his arms around me and we laid there, my back to his chest. I felt his warmth seep into my body. I forgot what I had been missing when I felt his heat and his smell. It was sweet and calming. I wondered if mine did the same to him.

I got up for a quick second, just to grab a blanket, before I grew it over us and snuggled back into him. He was shaking a bit and I wasn't sure if it was from the temperature or the sudden, unexpected wave of deep emotions, so I lifted up and turned so he could burry into me too if he wanted. And he did. He buried my head into his neck and set his head on top of mine. 

His calming sent, being stronger now, made my eyes flutter shut. "I love you." That was the last thing I heard before sleep overcame my thoughts. I wanted to say it back. Does he know that I love him?

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I woke up on top of his sleeping body. Everything was peaceful for a second before the memories of what had happened just before I fell into dream's sweet lie of relief and calmness. I looked up at his calm face. His eyes sped around under his eyelids.

He's depressed? How many other secrets does he have? Can I help him? Will it get better? Will this effect our relationship? What is he dreaming about?

These thoughts made me feel more crazy by the second as they rushed around my head without similar direction in flow. 

How am I going to get us through this?

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A/n:  Don't hate me, but this is the end of this book. As I said, there will be a sequel, it is up and it's called 'Crazy for You'. Go check it out! Love ya. Kiss kiss.                -LinesOfBlack