I'm not crazy (Scomiche)

Chapter 24

A/n: How should I end this story? Message me or comment below.

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I claimed wordlessly out of the car once we made it to the house in the middle of nowhere. I walked up to my bedroom, giving a quick glance backwards towards Scott's door before shaking my head and walking into my room. My bed looked so welcoming, the blankets were arms waiting to snuggle to my body. I obliged and crawled in.

My eyes wouldn't shut. I wanted to sleep, but thoughts were running laps around my mind. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, a shadow of two feet showing under the door, and a jiggle of my doorknob. I quickly shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep. Footsteps approach me and I felt two soft lips against my lips for a little bit. He ran his hand through my hair. "Goodnight my Mitchie." Another quick peck before he left my room to go to his own. I should have felt warm and loved, but I felt guilty. Thoughts that hadn't ran through my mind in awhile came back. 

You almost killed a man! You're insane! He's going to get you. A quick look around my room. The sound of my heart beating in my ear. You don't deserve Scott. He's too good for you. You're holding him down. You're crazy. 

"No." I argued. I let out a loud sigh and walked to my corner of the room. The dark felt like it was eating away at me. There was the realization that I was alone, that feeling left me feeling hollow. I wanted to be held.

Why do you think Scott didn't stay with you? 

"Stop. Stop, please." I had a hard time trying to move. My body was shaking a bit. It was dangerous. I didn't want to lose control. He would be disappointed in you. Was that thought supposed to help? My nerves were vibrating. I needed to get help. "Sssss-" it was a whisper, barely audible by myself, lost in the darkness. I went to stand up, but the darkness left me feeling paralyzed.

I finally managed to stand and make my way to the door. My shaking hand rested on the doorknob. Why was I waiting? I worked my hardest to turn the knob, when the door was wide open, I could see straight to the path towards Scott's bedroom door. Seriously, why was I waiting?

He doesn't want a crazy in his room, he made that clear on the first day. 

"He said if I needed help..."

You really think he wants you bothering him at this time? He's probably sleeping. He'll be so disappointed that you couldn't stop it yourself too.

I decided to go downstairs and be far enough away from Scott that if I did end up making noise, it would be lost somewhere in the dark. I was going to try to stop it myself. It was probably useless. I had to try. I made my way, legs shaking and eyesight fogging, down towards the living room. When I made it there, my thoughts flew loose and wild.

I pulled at my hair and clawed at my arms, all while trying to stuff my thoughts back into the back of my mind. Everything went blurry. My arms thrashed at myself, my hearing flew out the window, and I clenched my jaw tight to keep from making to much noise and waking up Scott. I couldn't control it much longer, it started out whimpers, but eventually lead up to desperate cries.

I heard a few muffles that were lost in process between my ears and my brain. Two arms wrapped me up close. Half of me was thankful, the other half was feeling the guilt of it all run through my bones. "I'M SORRY!" I screamed at Scott, whom was holding my body. I trashed against his hold. I was flipped around and my back was against the cold, hard floor. I felt a hand squeeze both of my hands above my head as a restrain. His other hand cupped my cheek then placed his lips against mine.

My thrashing slowed and weakened. My thoughts quieted. My vision cleared. When Scott pulled away he looked down at me. "Mitchie..." see he's disappointed in you. I turned my head so I didn't have to look at him. A single tear made its way down my cheek. 

The man above me released his grip on my wrists and pulled me up into his chest. My head buried into his neck and my hands gasped for as much of him as I could get. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." My voice was weak and pathetic. 

"Shhhhh." He pulled me tightly close into him with one arm. With the other, he was playing with my hair. Sobs racked my body. My tears were socking into his shirt. We just stayed on the ground, rocking slightly, until my sobs turned into ragged breaths. When he dubbed me calm enough, he stood up. I was still on his chest. 

My eyes were closed, heavy with sleep. He carried me up the stairs and into a bed. He crawled in beside me. "Thank you." I whispered as I cuddled into his chest. He draped a heavy arm over my torso.

"Any time. I love you." I cringed slightly, still not opening my eyes. 

"I love you." I spoke only the truth. He didn't ask questions, he didn't probe me as to why I apologized, why I was down stairs, or why I had the episode in the first place. It's what I needed. That's what made him the best boyfriend. He knew me too well. Knew just when I needed time, when I needed him, when I needed to be alone, and when I needed to be loved. I don't deserve someone like that.

Scott pulled me in closer and his scent filled my nose. Absorbing his warmth. It was both calming and unsettling. Why all of the sudden are these thoughts coming back? Just when everything was going so well. 

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A/n: Sorry. Bad chapter. I hope you don't leave me. Things will get better. LOVE ME!!!