I'm not crazy (Scomiche)

Chapter 8

     "Why the fuck are you here!?"

     "I just thought I would come tell you some exciting news. I-"

     "And you didn't think 'hmmm, he's in the shower, I should come back another time'?" I said imitating his voice quite offensively.

     "I'm sorry, I didn't think you walked around naked when you're alone!"

     "I don't!" I took a second to calm down and think about why I snapped. It was probably because I was confused by my emotions. It had nothing to do with him. I let out an over exaggerated huff and sat down beside him, putting my head in my rough hands. "I'm sorry. It wasn't anything you did, I was just upset. Now, what about that news?" 

He traced his hand in comforting circles around my back and I found myself leaning into his touch. What am I doing? "Kirstie, doctor Maldonado, is coming tomorrow. She said she was going to be in town anyways and wanted to drop in." I perked up at the news. I've missed her so much. "You should put a shirt on too." 

     "Why?" I looked down at myself. "Am I really that ugly?" I said and stood up to get a shirt.

     "No, no, no, no. Not at all. I just, uh, yeah." He said as his eyes traveled down my stomach. I slipped on my shirt as fast as I could. I was obviously making him uncomfortable somehow. His gaze snapped back to my eyes after that. "I mean, that the board finally just looked at the one report I filed. The one where you asked for help when you were going through your... episode. They were impressed and I managed to pull a few strings. Now you're able to eat in the cafeteria and go outside for twenty minutes per day as long as you're accompanied by a guard and/or myself seems how you've taken a trusting to me."

     I let a smile invade my face, but as I further processed what he said, it dropped. "What do you mean? You write about everything we do and say? And what do you mean 'you've taken a trusting in me'."

     "Yes Mitchie, we have to write a report every day." So that's why he's nice to me. So it looks good on the report. "And about the other thing, I've looked through your file. You don't usually keep nurses around for longer than a week. You obviously must trust me more than the others."

     "No, listen Scott! You don't know anything about me. To you, I am a shell of some... crazy person! Don't you think if I trusted you, you would know what keeps me up at night. Why I'm afraid of the dark. Or why I'm even in this... nut house. Why I am considered a... crazy! You know nothing about me!" Why was I being so weird today? I was full out ballistic. It isn't even his fault. "I'm sorry. Thank you for the good news. I'm happy, I really am I just... I don't know. I think you should leave. Come back when you're ready to forgive me maybe then we can go outside." I said as my voice becomes increasingly quiet and less enthusiastic. He walks up to me and catches me by surprise when he wraps me in a tight embrace. I immediately push myself farther into his chest.

     "I'm not mad. I promise. And I'm here to help, remember? Always. I will leave, let you figure some things out, but I will come back at 12:30 for lunch and then we can go into the courtyard. Sound good?" I managed to nod my head, his heat and touch making me feel... something. It could be all of the unusual excitement of the past few days that are making me over react. Yeah, we can say it's that. He pulled away and I almost pulled him back, but refrained from adding further embarrassment onto me. How is he not mad? I would've wanted to throw a brick at my face if I were him. I laughed at my unusual thought then belly flopped on my bed with a bounce. 

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     The sound of static was what woke me up. I didn't even know that I fell asleep. I looked to my clock. 12:25. I stretched and then remembered why I woke up. I searched around in my messy sheets until I found the source, the walkie-talkie. "Hullo?" I slurred. It was obvious that I had been asleep.

     "I'm coming to bring you to lunch. Are you ready? I have, like, two ,ore halls to turn down." 

     I panicked then. "No!" I ran into the bathroom probably faster than I cheetah would have. I gasped at my hair, it was a wreck. That was putting it in nice terms. I finger combed it until I saw Scott appear behind me. "Help me! I look like trash! Fix it!" He chuckled at me. "Don't laugh! This is serious! I don't want to make a bad impression. I've never met these people." 

     "Listen, I've been I the cafeteria. You will look the best out of all of them. And I'm sure they'll love you. So calm down and let's go." He grabbed my hand and tugged it a little before letting it go. It was enough to convince me to just go for it. I was walking slightly behind doctor Hoying, letting him lead the way through the unexplored halls. I was so excited that I was practically buzzing. I hadn't seen anyone aside from doctors, nurses and guards. When we walked through the double doors, the chaos of the people talking loudly and rushing to find their seats was almost unbearable on its own. Now, add in the smell of ham, mayonnaise and sweat. I wasn't prepared for it all and walked out. Knowing fully well that Hoying would follow, and he did.

     I had to slouch against the wall. I felt a hand rubbing my back as my breathing started setting back to normal pace. "You okay?"

     "Yeah. I'm just, you know, chilling with my best buddy 'the wall'." I sassed to lighten the mood.

     "Mitch, we don't have to do this yet. It was a lot all at once. Even for me and I haven't been isolated for years. Why don't we try again another day? We can go to your lunchroom if you're still hungry."

     "I'm not hungry. That was a lot. C-can we try again another day? I'm sorry. I know that you worked hard to get me the ability to go in there and I jus-"

     "I doubt anyone's outside yet. It was snowing this morning and it's freezing outside so I got you some winter gear. We can go outside if you want or I can take you back to your room. Whichever you prefer." I sat up and tested out my feet. I was better now. My feet were stable and I was balanced. I looked up into his blue eyes and smile.

     "Can we go outside?" 

     He smiled back. "Of course. But first we have to get you all dressed up for the cold."

     A few minutes later, and I was wrapped in a red scarf, a green jacket, a red beanie and red boots. I did a twirl. I looked fabulous! "I love it so much! Can we go now!"

     He smiled fondly at me and then nodded once. We walked through several hallways before we were outside. The crisp air burnt my throat. My eyes danced shut as a cluster of snowflakes fell on them. I giggled then danced around trying to catch them. I'm aware that I'm in my twenties. But nobody but Scott was around so I could play in the snow. Each flake that made contact with my skin instantly turned to water. I attempted to take a step forward but found myself on an ice patch. "Doctor Hoying? Help me." He smiled fondly at me and made his way over.

     He tried to pull me off the ice, but ended up falling. On his way down he hit my foot. I fell on top of him. We were both in an outrageous laughing fit. I looked down at him and shivered. "Can we go in, please. I'm frozen." Somehow we managed to get off of the ice but a new problem had arose. I couldn't feel my feet. When I voiced that to Scott, he simply said, "you're just like a child." And picked my up and carried my to my bedroom.

     "Thanks." I said with a sudden timid feeling. "For everything. I know I can be a big pain sometimes, well, most of the time. But I really wanted you to know that I really appreciate what you do for me. So thanks again." He gave me a bright smile. 

     "Mitchie, you underestimate yourself. You're perfect." He wrapped me up in his arms again and I couldn't explain how much I never wanted us to separate.