I'm not crazy (Scomiche)

Chapter 21

It had been a couple of hours since I told him to leave. He came up to tell me that it was supper time. So I followed him do, but didn't say a word. Anything that would come out would be inappropriate and rude. I didn't want that. So silent I remained. 

"We're having pancakes for dinner, the ones from the box. I remembered you liked those." Yeah, I do. I would've said it, but... 

He stopped abruptly in front of me. "Why aren't you talking to me? You're not being all snuggly with me like you usually are. What did I do? When I yelled at you, I was just protecting you like a good boyfriend does. So tell me, what did I do?" He asked with anger in his voice. I raised my eyebrow at him.

I considered not saying anything, but we're in a relationship, we have been for awhile. A good relationship needs communication, yes? "You would've stuck up for me when I was a resident at 'All Saints', you could've stuck up for me earlier today. You didn't. That hurt. A long time ago, my mom told me that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. So here I'll stand, and I won't say anything at all."

He exhaled and continued his walk towards the kitchen. We sat together at the table, I just looked down at my pancakes. How could he have been so inconsiderate? He sat there and watched as I was criticized by the nurse. I know that I'm over reacting. I should forgive and forget, but I couldn't get past it.

I finished my dinner, stood up and said a quick thanks before heading back to my room. I knew I would calm down, I just needed time. In the meantime I will avoid any conversation. It would be best for both of us if I didn't say anything to him. I trusted him to stick up for me. That wasn't an easy thing for me to do. I know, I know. He did it to protect me, to protect us. It shouldn't hurt, I'm over reacting. 

The war in my head was undescribable. One side of me was fighting with cannons, guns and grenades. The other half fighting for peace was throwing flowers, surrounded by doves and sunshine. One half powerful, the other looked welcoming. I know the peace side was the one I was supposed to choose, but my rational thoughts were clouded by rage. So, I remained in no mans land while the war continued on. 

I let the music grow louder and press my thoughts to the side of my skull. They could be thought about later. For now, I wanted a break from being everything I hated to be: a child, broken, crazy and dangerous. 'Lean On' came on. I allowed the comfort of familiarity comfort me. My corner, my music, the light in the room. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel like I was alone in the world. Thoughts were non-existent. I loved it.

I was ripped from my peaceful space when my earbud was ripped from my ear. "I think we should talk."

No answer. I just stared into his bright blue eyes. They swirled with emotion. I recalled the first time I encountered those blue eyes. I was entranced, but I remember hating him. 

"I hate it when you're mad at me. I hate it when you're sad. I want to fix it, but I don't know how." He leaned down for another hug. Yet again stopped by my hand. "You won't even let me hug you. You won't talk. Now, how are we supposed to sort this out if we can't communicate?"

I opened my mouth to say something. I shut it quickly because all of the things that were on the brim of my lips were not going to help the situation. I swallowed what was on my tounge and decided on some new words. He was looking at me expectingly.

"Well?"

I decided on restating why I was upset. I don't care if he has an opinion. I don't care if mine is wrong. I just want my opinion to be heard. I felt that he was in the wrong, he should've helped. He felt that he did all that he could, he couldn't help.

A deep sigh escaped the filter of my lips. I stood from my spot on the floor and spoke as calmly as I could muster. "I am upset." I cleared the obvious out of the way. "I am upset because I feel that you could have helped me when th-"

"No I couldn't. I could not help you. Do you want us to be caught? Do you want me to lo-"

"Will you let me finish!?" He shut his mouth and nodded one curt nod. "Thank you. I feel that you could've helped mr calm down, or stuck up for me when the nurse was assaulting me with her words. When I did finally feel close to snapping, I found a way out of the situation: going to the bathroom. There, you yelled at me! I felt small and unwanted! I HAD TO STICK UP FOR MYSELF, THATS WHAT PEOPLE DO! FROM DAY ONE WE ARE TOLD NOT TO LET PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING BUT PERFECT! THEN YOU YELL AT ME FOR IT! SHE WAS TALKING TO YOU LIKE I WASNT SITTING RIGHT THERE!" I was starting to vent. That was a dangerous thing. I wanted to stop it, to filter it at least. We are too far past that. My rage spilled past my lips. "SO YEAH IM MAD! I DIDNT TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO HURT YOU! PEOPLE DONT HURT THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE! SOMEONE HAS DONE IT TO ME AND IT RUINED MY LIFE! I WONT DO THAT TO Y-"

I barely noticed at he was approaching me as I yelled. I was cut off by a pair of soft pink lips crashing into mine. They moved in sync. I felt all of my rage vanish from my body and all of my thoughts vanish from my head. He pulled back. 

"Better?" 

"Much."

We continued to kiss. I forgot how much I missed being in his arms. Our hands started to roam. We only stopped kissing when we needed air. I felt better now, I chose the side of peace and love.

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A/n: Went from 0 to 10 in .72 seconds! Next chapter is private, *wink wink*. I am warning you now! Some of you feel uncomfortable reading smut, because I love you I'm going to tell you to not read the next chapter! Again, I'm sorry to those of you who don't want it but the solution is simple: DO NOT READ THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

I love you all! Kiss kiss! 

                                                     -LinesOfBlack