These New Eyes, My New Life

These New Eyes, My New Life: Chapter 1

    I walked up to his door, knocked twice, and waited. It was a chilly fall night; too cold for North Carolina. I was breathing evenly, purposely, so I wouldn’t start crying. I nervously ran my fingers through my brown hair, and the door finally opened.

    "Bekka? Hey. What're you doing here?" my boyfriend, Tyler, asked. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

    Tyler had been my boyfriend since the summer before sophomore year. We just had our eight-month anniversary. Tyler had longish brown hair, and big, beautiful brown eyes. He had tan skin, and was about three inches taller than my 5'7" frame. He was the quarterback, so he was really muscular. He was so sweet, and caring, and good to me. And I was about to ruin all of that.

    "Hey, Tyler. Can we go for a, um, walk?" I couldn’t help the way my voice sounded: stand off-ish, distracted, pained. He looked even more confused, but he complied, stepping to my side and closing the door.

    "Let's go," he said, taking my hand. I hesitated, but allowed him to take it, and I led us right off his driveway, towards the setting sun. "The sky's beautiful tonight," he murmured.

    "Yeah. It is," I said. I was uncomfortable. I was battling with my self, half of my mind was saying, don’t do it! It'll be the biggest mistake of your life! The other half was saying, you have to! You aren’t the same Bekka! I knew which side would win, and it would just be easier to get it over with.

    "So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked, turning his head and smiling at me.

    I was silent for a moment, debating still. But after a moment, a side one. "Tyler, we can't be together anymore," I said in a quiet voice. Surprisingly, my voice didn't crack.

    He just blinked. "Of course we can."

    I removed my hand from his and stopped. I turned and faced him. I kept my expression hard and unreadable. "I'm breaking up with you, Tyler."

    His eyebrows furrowed. "What?" he asked lamely.

    "I'm breaking up with you. We're over. This is the last time I'll be with you. This is the last time I'll see you outside of school. We are over." I said it as harshly as I could.

    "No… You'll be with me everyday at school. We'll eat lunch together, walk in the hallways together, everything together. And of course I'll see you out of school. I'll see you on the weekends, and we'll go to the movies every Friday. What are you talking about, Bekka?" he seemed genuinely confused.

    I realized I had to be mean. It would be the only way he would listen to me. "Oh my god, Tyler! Do you hear yourself? Why can't you get the fact that I don’t love you anymore? It's over!" I said, a cruel smile appearing on my face.

    I had finally gotten through to him. A hurt expression appeared on his face. "But, Bekka. I love you."

    "I'm sorry. I don’t love you anymore," and my tone was apologetic.

    "Yes you do." He insisted.

    "No, I don’t," I shook my head sadly.

    "You do!" and he put his hand on the side of my face and tried to kiss me.

    "No, Tyler. I do not love you anymore. We're through." I said, stepping backwards, out of his reach.

    "Really?" even whispering, his voice broke.

    "Yeah. I'm sorry." I said in a strong voice.

    He was about to cry; I could tell. He stumbled backwards, before practically jogging towards his house. I watched him with tears running down my cheeks. I turned and began walking in the direction we were already headed. A sob escaped my lips in tune with Tyler's. But I kept on, and I willed the sobs to stop, allowing the tears to flow. That might've been the hardest thing I had to do, but it was necessary.