Static Movements

7

"I should be in a castle, not this!"

"C-completely agree with you S-Sir."

"There should be a grand staircase with diamond chandeliers not a rickety ladder and this single flickering light bulb," John Green held a middle finger up at the light.

"W-well, we have to stay here until W-wolf contacts us," Hank Green stuttered, cleaning his glasses with a grubby shirt.

"I don't care what he said," John stood up from his chair. "I should have more than what I have now. 'Best in the Business', as if! Shoulda' got 24601 instead of 11565."

The two were staying in an abandoned house's basement, shivering in the damp conditions. John had taken the only mattress and chair, leaving Hank to reside and the cold, concrete floor

"Will you be s-sleeping on the mattress again Sir?" Hank asked, hoping John wouldn't.

"Yes, of course! Are you that stupid?!"

A couple of hours later and John was singing his own adaptation of Deck the Halls.

"Deck the halls with YouTube corpses

Tra la la la la la la la death

Tis the season for some murders

Tra la la la la la la la death

I don't like you, I will kill you

Tra la la la la la la la death

I will literally fucking kill you

Tra la la la la la la la

DEATH!"

As he chanted this, John pounded the mattress with his fists (Hank was holding it against the wall).

"I'll get them all," John muttered. "He persuaded me to let them have some freedom. But no the infamous 11565 is infatuated with him."

"But you made him go to your flat, Sir. Didn't you? Make him recruit someone else?" Hank practically hid behind the edge of the mattress.

John sighed and punched the mattress one last time before turning away. Hank dropped it and went toward John.

"Hank," John turned to Hank. "Get in contact with his Trainer or something. Make him kill his love if he stops doing his job."

Hank nodded. He needed his God now, more than ever.

***

Jon Cozart was known throughout the entire world (or thereabouts) for his creative Disney parodies. He had gained over five million subscribers by 2019 and, although back in 2014 already had one, had a 'secret' girlfriend. Jon had become close to her when they were both deemed insane and a tad insightful.

Lily Singh had won the heart of Jon.

At five pm on the second day of Summer in the City (the same day that Phil fell asleep at the panel, PJ found 'Dan' tied up, Dodie and Evan became Sherlock and Watson, Tronnor became real and a certain fangirl achieved 20k followers on Twitter), Jon and Lily were seen holding hands.

Megan had disbelieved this at first, knowing that Jon and Lily had not (to her knowledge) ever made a video together. So, the over enthusiastic fangirl had left the hotel room (which she had wrangled off her aunt who was the manager of said hotel) grasping three notebooks and her phone and charger.

She was ready.

Humming a song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show ("Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me. I wanna be dirty!") she had parked herself outside Lily and Jon's shared room. So far she had spent thirty minutes crouched in the same fixed position. Meg had gone through all of The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack.
She stopped suddenly. Was that Jon? Oh yeah, that's Jon.

Megan took a pen out of her jeans pocket and opened the camera app on her phone. She stood behind a potted plant quickly, almost falling over in the process.

Lily and Jon came around the corner, holding hands and talking animatedly about what the best Troye Sivan song was. Jon had gone for Lost Boy whereas Lily had gone for Happy Little Pill. But then, almost as though the two were possessed by a demon of some sort, they both stopped and stared at the plant behind which Meg was hiding.

"Someone's here, aren't they?" Lily spoke softly.

"Yeah, you're right. Hmm, I'd have found a taller leafier plant to hide behind," Jon shrugged. "Should we give them what they want?"

Lily simply nodded and leant in. Meg screamed the only scream that a fangirl could posses whilst taking as many photos of her new otp as humanly possible.

But one thing struck the sixteen year old. Not that Lily and Jon had practically eaten eachothers mouths, but the cane that Jon held in his hand. A cane that suspiciously looked like one of those that a blind person may use.

A note from the real author ; Jon was always blind, didn't I tell you that?

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So, I'm back! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that smol surprise at the end. All will be revealed to whom the 'real' author is (I'm actually writing this btw but I had this sort of idea and then first person in the epilogue).

So, news from Hannah today (yay!). Updates will be a tad sporadic until everything is sorted with my writing skills. I spoke to one of my internet friends on face time for the first time ever the other day and I kinda maybe fangirled over her?

I've also found out my sexuality so that's fun. I'm demi-pansexual so all the homo tbh.

On New years eve I spent the last few minutes of 2015 with my smol senpeach. Erm, on a related note I'm kinda not single anymore but I'm not gonna tell you who that is.

So, what did YOU guys do with your Christmas/New year/holiday? Did you eat all the food? Did you silently craft at the loss of your childhood?

Let me know in the comments!

Byeeee!!!!!!!