Surreal Perfection (Camren)

Ch 16

//

So I leave her, like she left me.

And at the fringes of my consciousness, I hear her say my name, like a lifeline.

But the door's already swinging shut, and tonight, I decide to let her drown.

I'm standing at the edges of the dance floor, and it hits me that I feel completely lost; in the crowd, the music, the alcohol, and the bitterness that I can still taste under my fingernails.

What now?

Sure, Lauren cheated over a year ago, but it doesn't make it any less painful, finding out about it now.

If anything, it's worse. Much, worse.

I battle against the image of Lauren, bent over, in front of some dude, with his dick--

I feel like throwing up all of a sudden, but I manage to push those thoughts away, and breathe and focus; inhale, exhale--

Fuck. This entire time, she...

Numbly, I wonder if that's why she left, and broke things off with me.

Because she felt too fucking guilty? Ashamed? Really?

What a joke.

I decide that it doesn't matter right now, because what I need, is another fucking drink.

I try to make my way to the bar, but I realize I'm stumbling, more than I'm walking.

I weave through a couple of surprised faces and duck my head down; I probably look like a hot mess right now.

I'm starting to feel sick again, so I change direction, and head out through the back exit.

The cool air hits me, and it feels a lot less suffocating out here. But I make it only a few steps, before I end up doubling over, and suddenly retching all over the pavement.

Thankfully, there aren't a lot of people out here, and it's dark enough that I look like just another drunk girl who's had just a little bit too much fun tonight.

My stomach twists, and I barely have enough time to gather my hair back, before I spasm out another round of liquid vomit.

I spit a few times, trying to get the taste of bile from my tongue, but I'm unsuccessful.

Ugh, I feel disgusting; both physically, and emotionally.

What was I thinking, goading Lauren into an angry fuck in the bathroom?

It felt like amazing, angry breakup and makeup sex, all rolled into one.

At least I tried to make it angry; Lauren was the one who turned it into making love, and I let her.

I shake my head in disgust. This is the second night in a row now that I've dramatically stormed out of a club, and it's not something I want to do again, ever.

I think the universe is trying to tell me something.

I cough out a few times, then go into my clutch to find something to wipe my mouth with. I feel the corner of a Kleenex stuffed in the bottom, and yank it out.

I watch, in slow motion horror, as my phone comes flying out, twisting and turning mid-air, and lands with a hard, juicy smack in the middle of my fresh puddle of puke.

I...I can't even...

This has to be some big, fucking cosmic joke.

I just stare down at it. There's a huge crack on the glass, and I start comparing its state, to the state of my life right now.