Surreal Perfection (Camren)

Ch16.5 - Interlude - Nikki's POV

Nikki's POV

//

She finally looks peaceful.

I've been staring at Camila's sleeping face for the last twenty minutes, and the steady rise, and fall, of her chest, calms me.

I'm leaning back on my armchair, at the corner of my studio apartment, and this place has never felt so warm.

No one's slept in my bed, other than me, and the sight of Camila in it, sort of makes me happy.

But then reality hits, and I know she's laying there for a reason, and I know that the trail of tears on her cheek, lead all the way down to my pillow.

She looks a little cold, so I get up, and quietly walk over, pulling the blanket up to her chin.

Camila sort of squirms, and almost smiles.

The image is so freaking cute, it makes my heart twist a bit, so I take advantage of this stolen moment, and gaze at her more closely.

She's even more beautiful from this distance, and it makes me feel even more torn about what exactly is the right thing to do.

It's obvious that there's chemistry between us, but her history with Lauren, and more importantly, my friendship with Lauren, complicates things.

Backing off is probably the best thing to do, but I kind of find myself struggling with the thought.

I can't help that I like her; who wouldn't?

For some reason, I feel protective over her.

We only just met, but maybe because I've been where she is, I feel like I can somehow help her get through this, help her get over this, and over Lauren.

So I ask myself the same question from over a year ago. The same one that pushes me down into that familiar, dark place, when I sift through the past, and try to make sense of what happened, and whether I made the right decision.

Can someone truly love you, if they cheat on you?

Silently, I wish I hadn't met Camila the way I did. Maybe if I just laughed off Elliot's stupid dare, I wouldn't be in this messy situation right now.

Camila would have been Lauren's Camila, instead of the beautiful, clumsy stranger with incredible lips, and a nervous smile, that made everything else fade into the background.

As I watch her, I remember the broken look in her beautiful eyes from earlier tonight. And it reminds me too much about what I went through, what I'm still going through.

I chose not to forgive, and I chose to move on, but I'm still not over it.

I feel my phone buzz from my back pocket, so I pull it out.

As expected, it's Lauren.

I've already ignored her last ten calls, and I hit decline without a second thought.

It's not a conversation I'm ready to have yet, even though I know that avoiding her is only making things worse.

As soon as I put my phone away, it buzzes again; this time, I know it's a text message.

I take one last look at Camila, then walk over to my open window, stepping out onto the fire escape.

I light a cigarette, and take a deep drag, before looking at Lauren's last several messages.

I ignore the ones from earlier, because they're filled with so much hostility, that I can't even read through them.

Laur (1:32 AM): Nikki, answer your fkin phone
Laur (1:32 AM): pls, I need to talk to her
Laur (1:33 AM): Nik, ffs! Pick up
Laur (1:41 AM): at least tell me she's ok...
Laur (1:41 AM): please

I can feel Lauren's desperation through the screen, and I know immediately that continuing to ignore her, is just cruel.

So I take another drag, and I start typing out several drafts, before settling on something to say.

Me (1:53 AM): she's ok, just passed out

I leave it at that, and I don't mention that Camila sobbed the entire cab ride back, or that she cried herself to sleep, or that she mumbled Lauren's name, several times, over the last hour.

I flick my cigarette over the metal railing, and duck back in through the window.

I look over to my bed, and Camila's kicked the covers off again, huddled into a ball, still in her party dress.

I shut the window behind me, and go back to slide the covers over her sleeping form again.

I take my seat on my armchair, and I reach for the necklace around my neck, pulling it out, to fiddle with the ring looped into it.

The tiny inset diamonds shine in the dark, and I catch myself drifting into the past again.

Do I fight for her, or do I let her go?

I look over at Camila, turning my old engagement ring in my fingers, and I silently tell her that I would never make her cry like this, that I would treasure her, and treat her better, and never betray her trust.

Right away, I question whether I'm doing it for her, or am I doing it for myself; but then my phone begins to buzz again. I start reaching for it, but change my mind, and ignore it for now.

I'm going to see Lauren later for the Billboard photo shoot anyway, and I'm positive she'll pick a fight that neither one of us will back down from.

Camila mumbles Lauren's name again, and it makes me sigh heavily.

I know I promised her she would be okay...

But as I stare at the ring in my hand, and sink into the same quicksand of my own tragic love story, I know, that we both know, that I'm lying.

//

A/N: Just a little glimpse; a little bit of quiet before the next storm. 😌

Soooo busy these days, will try to maybe update over the weekend, or shortly after!

Take care! ❤️

Xo, Kyrie

Wattpad: kyrie999
Tumblr: lovve-fearlesssly