**
Disclaimer: Anything in italicized quotation marks are real Asks & Comments from various readers.
Hope you don't mind if I had a little fun with them! 😚 It comes from a place of love.
Ps, this is an AU of the fic, and shouldn't be considered part of the actual storyline!
**
Nikki Reads Mean Asks/Comments - Volume 1
Interviewer: Hey Nikki, glad to have you with us today, how're you?
Nikki: Oh you know, what can I say? Just busy being a thorn in Lolo's combat boots. (Laughs)
Interviewer: Well, good thing she has a good supply of those. (Winks, cue drum roll)
Interviewer: So, we've been following your character since you got introduced into the story, and there seems to be a recurring theme--
Nikki: (slaps a hand on knee, laughs) Apparently I'm a BITCH! I know!
Interviewer: (nods profusely)
Nikki: I don't think I've ever been called a bitch that many times in my life!
(Shakes head)
Nikki: I was picking up pineapples at the grocery store today, and this twelve year old Camren shipper-- get this, she was with her mom, right? Well this little girl, she just looks at me, and she does this
(pretends to slice her neck with a finger)
Nikki: I literally dropped my fruit, I feared for my life.
(Waits for the Interviewer's reaction, gets nothing)
Then when her mom turns around, this girl comes up to me, and she says
(whispers really loudly to the Interviewer)
"CAMREN IS REAL...bitch!" Then she just freakin rolls away in her roller sneaks! Just, rolls away after her freaking drive-by!
Interviewer: (joins in on the laughter)
Interviewer: Yes, well, we gathered some more examples, if you wanna...
(gestures and hands over cue cards)
Nikki: Um, sure! Why not!
(Takes the stack, clears her throat)
Nikki: Okay, this is one is from...Anonymous.
Nikki: "Wtf is Camila doing?? I don't want drama 😩 Nikki needs to die lol well not die but she needs to disappear cuz this is gonna get so messy"
Nikki: You want me to die? Ouch.
(Pouts at the camera)
That's like, kinda permanent, no? Why not a none life-threatening car accident, or amnesia, ooh, or a secret love child where Austin Mahone is always the father. What? It IS a Camren story, isn't it?
Nikki: Can you blame me though? Have you seen Camila? Come on.
(Looks at camera, giving a 'duh' expression)
Interviewer: (shrugs)
The anon did also offer up 'disappearance' as a viable option...
Nikki: (nods)
Yeah, you know what, I think I'll take option B.
Nikki: Anyone looking for a...
(Glances at camera, glances at cue card)
"manipulative, backstabbing bitch"
(looks back at camera)
of a roomie?
Nikki: (flips to the next card, murmuring) "Nikki's a manipulate & fake bitch"
(next card)
"Nikki's a snitch and a bitch"
(next card, stops, looks at camera)
Wait, what? "Dikki"?
(Looks at card, then back up)
"I ship Dikki"???
Interviewer: (laughs uncontrollably, then gestures to the next cue card)
Nikki: Alright, let's see what we have here... Anonymous, says, "I don't care about Nikki, I can't stand her she can get lost."
Nikki: (shrugs)
I'll take 'get lost' over 'die', any day, so yeah...(Grumbles, then mumbles under breath)
Really? "Dikki"?
Interviewer: You know, there are perks to being the villain in the story.
Nikki: (looks surprised)
I'm the villain? What about Shawn??
Shawn: (shouts from off-camera)
Hey, leave me out of this!
Interviewer: (does this face 😬)
Well, it seems to be the consensus...
Interviewer: Anyway, why don't we move on to the next one?
Nikki: (looks apprehensively and looks at the next one)
Nikki: (scans it over once, eyebrows rise) Okay, this one's a bit of a long one.
Nikki: So, Anonymous said:
"jfc im tired of Nikki. I can't stand her, can't you just write her off and find a replacement? she's a pain in the ass."
(Looks up at camera with an open mouth, continues)
"I've been trying really hard to keep reading the fic and enjoy it but I can't continue like this. I'm sorry but if she's gonna keep being a character in this story then I'm done, I can't force myself to enjoy it anymore."
Nikki: (deadpans to the camera)
Well I hate to break it to ya... But JFC ain't gonna help you with this one...
(Trails off blankly)
Coz, y'know, he's probably busy, with like, performing miracles, and shit, walking on water, and um, turning water into vodka, and all that...
(Looks shiftily from left to right)
Or, with having tea with Ally. Eating crepes. So, um, there.
(Awkwardly mic drops the cue cards)
Interviewer: (awkwardly stares at her) Umm...we're actually not done the interview yet...
Nikki: (eyes bug out, and tries to frantically pick up the cards)
Fuck-- I mean shit! No, shoot!
Shawn: (shouts in the background, off-camera)
Man, you suuuuuuck!
Nikki: (looks over to the side, flashes a blurred out middle finger)
Last I checked, that's your job, Mendes!
(Looks back with panic at camera, covers mouth)
Woops!
Shawn: (throws an empty paper cup at Nikki, and shouts again, off-camera)
Nikki! You know I'm not gay!
(Pauses)
Dikkkkkkki!
Nikki: (throws her shoe off-camera, then brings both blurred out hands up this time,
laughing)
Say Dikki again, you asshole! Your gay's showing!
Interviewer: (looks unimpressed)
That wasn't really a very good comeback...
Nikki: (Brows furrow)
Yeah, well your face isn't a good comeback.
(Crickets everywhere)
Shawn: (shouts off-camera)
Nexxxxxxxt!
Interviewer: (looks at camera, shakes head again)
How about we call this a wrap?
//
A/N: I know, I know. My mind works in mysterious ways.
Was that too weird? An AU of a Non-AU Fanfic? Lol. 😅
Anyway, if you haven't already, go check out the sequel, "Keep Me Where The Light Is". Come angst with me. 🤗
Kisses! 😘
YOU ARE READING
Surreal Perfection (Camren)
FanfictionIt's been a year since Lauren decided to break out from Fifth Harmony to start her own band, and Camila still hasn't forgiven her for leaving them, and for leaving her. After a brief encounter at an award show, their lives come crashing back togeth...
