Ch 21

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I feel my heart pounding as I reach into the envelope, and for a moment, I'm confused, because the material feels thicker, and also because the side facing me looks blank.

But as I slip it out further, I see Lauren's neat handwriting again, and on it, is written:

05/01/12

My heart stops, because it knows that date, like it remembers the day it first started to learn how to beat.

----

"Mija, sit down, you're giving me a headache."

I look to my mom, and she's giving me one of those concerned, motherly looks of hers, and I look away, because a second longer, and I'm gonna burst out crying from how absolutely terrified I am for live auditions.

We've been waiting for hours now, and I've been watching person after person, get called up for their stage audition.

I try not to fiddle with my fingers too much, even though I know spaces are filling up, and that time is running out.

I'm a mess, and my nerves are all over the place.

What if I don't get a chance to even go up?

What if the judges hate me?

What if the audience boos me off stage?

I feel like crawling into a hole and crying right now.

Instead, I take a deep breath, and I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

My mom finally grabs my arm, and she urges me to sit down beside her.

Begrudgingly, I plop down into the not-so-comfy chair, and I try to distract myself by watching the live audition monitors.

Okay, this isn't too bad, the last few people on stage didn't get through, which means better odds for me to get through.

I look away for a few moments to survey the other people in the holding room.

The place feels like one massive bundle of dry sticks; as if one little errant spark, could make every person in here, spontaneously combust.

When I look back at the large screen, my heart suddenly does a hop, skip, and a jump.

This girl walks onto the stage, and she looks nervous, yet confident at the same time.

For some reason, I find myself unable to take my eyes off her.

Who is she?

Her sun-kissed skin looks like it's glowing, and her eyes kind of sparkle under the stage lights when she talks.

There's a feeling in my chest that I can't quite describe.

It's something I haven't felt before; this tug, this unexpected interest.

And it feels like my life drops down to a quarter of its speed, just so my eyes can have just a few more milliseconds longer to really look at her.

The noise around me quiets down to silence, because everything else, other than the sound of her singing, doesn't even register in my mind.

After the judges give her incredible feedback, and she walks off stage, and off camera, I turn to my mom.

"Mom, that girl can totally sing..."

My mom just nods and smiles at me, patting me on my knee.

I look back to the screen, even though someone else is being introduced, and I whisper under my breath, "And she's gorgeous too..."

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